supernatural christian

Equation From God

2011-03-07T07:56:00.002-06:00

God gave me a simple equation...Jeremiah 33:3 + Proverbs 3:32 x Psalm 139:17 = John 5:19

To summarize. Call to me, God, and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. + an upright man, God, takes into His confidence. x How precious to me are your thoughts, God! Equals : I only do what I see my Father doing.

Therefore, If you call upon the Lord He will take you into His confidence and show you the unknown, share with you His thoughts and with that, you, my friend, will only do what you see your Father doing.

Unsettled

2010-04-23T16:22:00.000-05:00

Not racist

Not violent

Just not going to take it anymore

Prophetic Word about the United States

2010-04-01T05:44:00.003-05:00

I am going out on a limb here. I do not usually share this much of what God has shown me, but I believe it is time.

The Lord has shown me the United States crumbling apart. There is no law and no love. The only place that God can be found is in the hearts of His people and His people start to become few. There will be persecution of the Christians in this land and many have not equipped themselves spiritually to endure. The love is gone.

There will be lawlessness in the land. Those Christians, that can endure, will rebel against the power of man and bring up arms, as did there forefathers, to defend liberty and their God. Hospitals, graves and prisons wait for God people.

The Lord showed me twice what it would be like. I wrote of this in "It is So" and in "Jeremiah 14", both speak of the Holy Spirit being taken out of America. This is happening now. Please prepare yourself for such a thing.

I told my husband a year ago that elections would be suspended in America as well as will our writ of Habeas Corpus. Rush Limbaugh started speaking of this yesterday. Why else would a man risk reelection other than he knew there would be no election.

The Lord has called myself and my family to leave the city. Interesting is that there are many Christians that have been called out of the city. We, because of following what the Lord has said, have faced objections from others. Look into the Word of God and see if objection do not come over and over again to those that are following the call of God. To those of you that are doing the hard thing that God has commanded, let me tell you what the Lord says.

"I do not promise you that this will be easy. I do say that your obedience is honey unto my lips. You are chosen and loved beyond measure. My eyes are upon you and what I have called you to will endure because of your obedience. I know your sacrifice and your struggle. I know your hearts and your spirit. You are my few. Angles guard you so that your path to my call will not be broken. I bless you because I can do nothing less."

My brothers and sisters in Christ. Do not linger and do not scorn those who are called. Send them off with blessings and prayer. They are following a path unmarked and doing the biting of our Savior.

Persecution...the early stages

2010-03-29T09:43:00.002-05:00

Christiasns...you had better dodge the Obama ball.

Amish, Muslims Exempt for Health Care

Prophetic Word for Europe from Don Franklin

2010-03-25T08:00:00.001-05:00

I am a God of War. I have no intentions of abdicating Europe to the enemy. There was a time in history past, when Saladin rose out of Africa and sought to take Europe for the Muslim Empire. The Crusaders stood against him; the Knights of Malta stood up and the sword of the Lord came forward and Europe was defended against a full takeover from the forces of Allah.

Once again, saith the Lord, I’m calling the Christian army back into Europe. I will not abandon Europe; I will not abandon the cradle of the Reformation. It shall begin in the land of the Reformation, saith the Lord. The anointing of God is going to fall upon that nation and there will be a reformation come out of Germany. Light will come pouring out of Germany once again. I will raise up the armies of Martin Luther.

Once again there will be a reformation rolling across the nations of Europe and this time it will be in the power and in the anointing of the Pentecostal Holy Ghost. It will not simply be a reformation of Word, but it will be a reformation of signs, wonders, the Word of God, and the power and the anointing of the Holy Ghost.

I have called many to go. Many will not answer the call; they will not give their lives and sow their lives back into what they call a dead mausoleum. They want to be in the hot spots. They want to be where the anointing is flowing.

I will give you a clue; one of the hottest spots in the world is going to be Europe. The anointing of God is going to come down in a volcanic manner and I am going to burn, saith God; I am going to burn, saith God; I’m going to burn the dross out of Europe, and I’m going to raise up a mighty army of light out of that land

Obeying

2010-03-21T07:53:00.003-05:00

I have been given a lot of grief about moving to the country. Words have been said to me that are hurtful and some just plain selfish.

I would like to address every one of those complaints with scripture.
After all it is God who told me to go.

Genesis 22:18
and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me

Exodus 12:24
"Obey these instructions as a lasting ordinance for you and your descendants

My favorite.

2 Corinthians 10:5
We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ

Isaiah 30:9-11

For this is a rebellious people, false sons,
Sons who refuse to listen
To the instruction of the LORD;
Who say to the seers, "You must not see visions";
And to the prophets, "You must not prophesy to us what is right,
Speak to us pleasant words,
Prophesy illusions.
"Get out of the way, turn aside from the path,
Let us hear no more about the Holy One of Israel."

I hear that last one a lot. People do not want to hear the truth. Even prophets that I know agree with the above verse. They only speak the sweet words, never the corrections.

In saying that, my course is set. I do not want to move back to the country. I really don't. But, because my God, and supposedly the same God as others I know , has called me to go back to the farm I must go. But, because God's plans for me are not pleasant to others, they put up words that go against the very plans that God has for me.

Whenever God delivers something very pleasant to me, it usually comes as a great surprise. Like a Christmas present. But, whenever the gift is to be something I would want to exchange for a better gift, He slowly works me into it. Perhaps this is to ease the pain for others. I have accepted this gift and am moving forward.

I will not be there for some....learn to lean on the Lord more. You have the same God in you that I have in me.

I am filthy as rags. Overcoming constantly. But, one thing I know to be truth, is that God has called me back to the farm. Christians rarely question my prophetic words to them, then why must you question these words from God.

Holiness

2010-03-20T16:47:00.004-05:00

Seeking to be holy should be every Christians aim. Being obedient to the Lords voice, commands and leadings helps to carry us into the closeness of God.

It is commanded of us to seek holiness.

Hebrews 12:14

Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.

But, how ready are Christians to look deep within, for that matter, look on the surface, of their lives. At times, I can not tell the difference between a secular person and one whom calls themselves a Christian.

Pride, judgement, disrespect all flourish in the Christian community. My heart is saddened by the state of our churches and its people. Holiness is not found through a church nor through continued sinful behavior. Do we not know the toll for throwing our deliberate sin in the face of an almighty God. Then, as if we are free of sin, we judge, correct or disrespect others.

1 Corinthians 10:9-13

We must not put Christ to the test, as some of them did and were destroyed by serpents, nor grumble, as some of them did and were destroyed by the Destroyer. Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come. Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Time is short. I, in obedience, will soon be leaving the city and doing what I see my Father do. My husband and I have brought our land into covenant with Israel, we will, no matter what, not turn our hearts from Israel. In this new place, away from the darkness of the city, I hope to grow in my holiness with the Lord.

Dear reader, I am weary from watching the walk of deliberate sin, pride and judgement. I pray that you will find those things in your life that would keep you from the threshold of Heaven and find a holy walk.

Weird

2010-03-05T06:53:00.008-06:00

As Christians, we all know that "everything is possible through God".

Mark 10:27 Looking at them, Jesus said, " With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God".

I have seen and heard a lot of strange things through Christ. I am no longer surprise nor bewildered by the unveiling of the unknown by God. And yet, last night, I became a bit surprised and bewildered.

My home church met last night. We have been watching a film of prophets speaking over our city. One of them is Dutch Sheets, a remarkable man of God, whom I respect and love to hear speak.

First, I was taken into a vision during our worship time. In the vision, I was running away from people and into an unknown place. I was not running from people out of fear, it was just the way I was headed.

While running, I turned back towards the people I was running away from and waved goodbye. My face was full of joy. But, in the natural, while watching this vision, I felt alone, depressed and sad.

Then I heard the voice of God. He said, "You will come to me alone."..

I have no idea what this means nor the importance of it. I assume that all will be revealed in God's timing.

Then during the film....weird happened.

Dutch Sheets began to speak in tongues. I recognized the tongue has my own. Now, I have communicated spirit to spirit in the past. "Spirit to Spirit Communication" This communication between myself and another, was spoke in tongues, but in our own tongue. Neither myself nor the other participant, knew what one another was saying.

When I hear Dutch Sheets it was not only the same language I speak in, but I understood everything he said. While listening I would have a feeling well up in mean and an understanding come over me. I was awed.

The first words that came from his mouth were the same words I start with and in the natural they are...Glorious Yahweh. Praise be to God the almighty one.

He spoke...Yours ears, I feel your ears.
Rain of blood has fallen, but you be restored.

Then there was another praise....I have found you God my strength. You cradle my head and breathe on me then I feel life. A light that I have followed now is deep within me, nourishing my spirit. Giving me sustenance and power with authority.

Dutch Sheets sang a bit in tongues and I heard....

In the darkness of my mine
you give me mercy.
In many ways, be glorified
Be kind to me Holy Father
I lay bare before you
longing for your truth.

Come to me Lord
Come to me
You are love, love.

A Dutiful Alarm is Sounding

2010-02-22T23:53:00.005-06:00

Please read articles I received from "Christians United for Israel"

A War between Iran and the West Is Imminent

Israel Unveils New Drone Fleet That Can Reach Iran

Will of God

2010-02-20T14:49:00.009-06:00

We pray because prayer is crucial in determining God's will.

I have said many times, I try to only do what I see my Father doing. So, it is in prayer.

I offer no prayer for healing, unless my Father says, healing is what He wants. It is not always, as many think, that healing is His will.

Ecclesiastes 3

¹ There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: ² a time to be born and a time to die

But, do we always pray God's will or do we pray a selfish prayer.

To pray for something to happen is to say to God that you know better than Him! It is to say that you do not agree with the course of events that God has laid out. It is ignorant, misguided, confused but most of all arrogant. Asking God to act at a time when God knows it is not the right time to act is praying against His will. If it is right, God will have already planned to do it. If it is wrong, God won't do it. Your prayer will not change these facts. To pray like this is to oppose God, to harass Him, to make a statement that you think you know better! It is insolent and arrogant.

Jesus said "Get thee behind me, Satan!" to an apostle who thought he knew better than God's plan (even though the apostle was bemoaning suffering!)... by trying to sway God's mind through prayer, YOU are behaving in the same way as that apostle! No matter how good your intentions are, your own master , would call you Satanic for it! Think about what it means to pray hope or wish for things, you might find you're not doing what your God wants you to be doing! Prayer should be, first, to find out the will of God.

Of course if a desire goes against Scripture, or if God has said no to it in a clear and resolute way, praying for it is disrespectful to God. I should merely pray that God will give me a heart to accept the situation and persist in that prayer until my heart changes. But when God hasn't plainly said no, I should feel not only freedom but a mandate to continue raising my request to him until he gives an explicit answer.

Isaiah 59:2 (New International Version)

2 But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear. 1 John 5:14-15 (New Century Version) 14 And this is the boldness we have in God's presence: that if we ask God for anything that agrees with what he wants, he hears us.15 If we know he hears us every time we ask him, we know we have what we ask from him

Admittedly, when no answer seems to be forthcoming, we can feel uneasy continuing to raise a request to God. We worry that we're pestering God and praying against his will. We should remember, though, that prayer not only has an effect upon God but upon us. Any prayer that I make--even one for a purely personal desire--has the effect of putting me in communication with God. A channel is established through which he can influence my thoughts and feelings.

Listen for the will of God. Be cautious of your own desires.

Proverbs 3:5 (New International Version)

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding.

Because our understanding is flawed, selfish and finite .

Question????

2010-02-18T06:47:00.002-06:00

I have been pondering...If Jesus Christ was a radical Jew, then is Christianity radical Judaism?

A word from David Wilkerson

2010-02-16T15:18:00.002-06:00

I LOOK AT THE WHOLE RELIGIOUS SCENE TODAY AND ALL I SEE ARE INVENTIONS AND MINISTRIES OF MAN AND FLESH. IT'S MOSTLY POWERLESS, IT HAS NO IMPACT ON THE WORLD. AND I SEE MORE OF THE WORLD COMING INTO THE CHURCH AND IMPACTING THE CHURCH RATHER THAN THE CHURCH IMPACTING THE WORLD.

I SEE THE MUSIC TAKING OVER THE HOUSE OF GOD. I SEE ENTERTAINMENT TAKING OVER THE HOUSE OF GOD. OBSESSION WITH ENTERTAINMENT IN GOD'S HOUSE.

A HATRED OF CORRECTION AND A HATRED OF REPROOF, NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT ANYMORE. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO ANGUISH IN THE HOUSE OF GOD? WHATEVER HAPPENED TO ANGUISH IN THE MINISTRY? IT'S A WORD YOU DON'T HEAR IN THIS PAMPERED AGE. YOU DON'T HEAR IT.

ANGUISH MEANS EXTREME PAIN AND DISTRESS. THE EMOTIONS SO STIRRED THAT IT BECOMES PAINFUL. ACUTE DEEPLY FELT INNER PAIN BECAUSE OF CONDITIONS ABOUT YOU, IN YOU, OR AROUND YOU. ANGUISH. DEEP PAIN. DEEP SORROW. AGONY OF GOD'S HEART.

WE'VE HELD ON TO OUR RELIGIOUS RHETORIC AND OUR REVIVAL TALK, BUT WE'VE BECOME SO PASSIVE. ALL TRUE PASSION IS BORN OUT OF ANGUISH. ALL TRUE PASSION FOR CHRIST COMES OUT OF A BAPTISIM OF ANGUISH. YOU SEARCH THE SCRIPTURE, AND YOU'LL FIND THAT WHEN GOD DETERMINED TO RECOVER A RUINED SITUATION....HE WOULD SHARE HIS OWN ANGUISH FOR WHAT GOD SAW HAPPENING TO HIS CHURCH AND TO HIS PEOPLE.

AND HE WOULD FIND A PRAYING MAN AND HE WOULD TAKE THAT MAN AND LITERALLY BAPTIZE HIM IN ANGUISH. YOU FIND IT IN THE BOOK OF NEHEMIAH.

JERUSALEM IS IN RUINS. HOW IS GOD GOING TO DEAL WITH THIS? HOW IS GOD GOING TO RESTORE THE RUIN? FOLKS, LOOK AT ME....NEHEMIAH WAS NOT A PREACHER, HE WAS A CAREER MAN. THIS WAS A PRAYING MAN. GOD FOUND A MAN WHO WOULD NOT JUST HAVE A FLASH OF EMOTION. NOT JUST SOME GREAT SUDDEN BURST OF CONCERN AND THEN LET IT DIE. HE SAID "NO. I BROKE DOWN AND WEPT AND I MORNED AND I FASTED. THEN I BEGIN TO PRAY NIGHT AND DAY."

WHY DIDN'T THESE OTHER MEN, WHY DIDN'T THEY HAVE AN ANSWER? WHY DIDN'T GOD USE THEM IN RESTORATION? WHY DIDN'T THEY HAVE A WORD?

BECAUSE THERE WAS NO SIGN OF ANGUISH! NO WEEPING! NOT A WORD OF PRAYER! IT'S ALL RUIN! DOES IT MATTER TO YOU TODAY....DOES IT MATTER TO YOU AT ALL THAT GOD'S SPIRITUAL JERUSALEM, THE CHURCH, IS NOW MARRIED TO THE WORLD? THAT THERE IS SUCH A COLDNESS SWEEPING THE LAND? CLOSER THAN THAT....DOES IT MATTER ABOUT THE JERUSALEM THAT IS IN OUR OWN HEARTS?

THE SIGN OF RUIN THAT IS SLOWLY DRAINING SPIRITUAL POWER AND PASSION. BLIND TO LUKE WARMNESS, BLIND TO THE MIXTURE THAT IS CREEPING IN. THAT'S ALL THE DEVIL WANTS TO DO IS GET THE FIGHT OUT OF YOU. AND KILL IT. SO YOU WON'T LABOR IN PRAYER ANYMORE. YOU WON'T WEEP BEFORE GOD ANYMORE. YOU CAN SIT AND WATCH TELEVISION AND YOUR FAMILY GO TO HELL.

LET ME ASK YOU. IS WHAT I JUST SAID CONVICTED YOU AT ALL? THERE IS A GREAT DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ANGUISH AND CONCERN. CONCERN IS SOMETHING THAT BEGINS TO INTEREST YOU, YOU TAKE AN INTEREST IN A PROJECT OR A CAUSE OR A CONCERN OR A NEED. I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING I'VE LEARNED OVER ALL MY YEARS, OF 50 YEARS OF PREACHING....IF IT IS NOT BORN IN ANGUISH, IF IT HAD NOT BEEN BORN OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, WHERE WHAT YOU SAY AND HEARD OF THE RUIN THAT DROVE YOU TO YOUR KNEES, TOOK YOU DOWN INTO A BAPTISIM OF ANGUISH WHERE YOU BEGAN TO PRAY AND SEEK GOD. I KNOW NOW, OH MY GOD DO I KNOW IT, UNTIL I AM IN AGONY, UNTIL I HAVE BEEN ANGUISHED OVER IT, AND ALL OUR PROJECTS, ALL OUR MINISTRIES, EVERYTHING WE DO....WHERE ARE THE SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHERS THAT WEEP OVER KIDS THEY KNOW ARE NOT HEARING AND GOING TO HELL?

YOU SEE, A TRUE PRAYER LIFE BEGINS AT THE PLACE OF ANGUISH. YOU SEE, IF YOU SET YOUR HEART TO PRAY, GOD'S GOING TO COME AND START SHARING HIS HEART WITH YOU. YOUR HEART BEGINS TO CRY OUT- OH GOD YOUR NAME IS BEING BLASPHEMED. HOLY SPIRIT IS BEING MOCKED. THE ENEMY IS OUT TRYING TO DESTROY THE TESTIMONY OF THE LORD'S FAITHFULNESS, AND SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE. THERE IS GOING TO BE NO RENEWAL, NO REVIVAL, NO AWAKENING UNTIL WE ARE WILLING TO LET HIM ONCE AGAIN BREAK US. FOLKS, IT'S GETTING LATE AND IT'S GETTING SERIOUS. PLEASE DON'T TELL ME, DON'T TELL ME YOUR CONCERNED....WHEN YOUR SPENDING HOURS IN FRONT OF THE INTERNET OR TELEVISION.

COME ON. LORD, THERE ARE SOME THAT NEED TO GET TO THE ALTER AND CONFESS I AM NOT WHAT I WAS, I AM NOT WHERE I AM SUPPOSED TO BE. GOD I DON'T HAVE YOUR HEART OR YOUR BURDEN, I'VE WANTED IT EASY. I JUST WANTED TO BE HAPPY.

BUT LORD, TRUE JOY COMES, TRUE JOY COMES OUT OF ANGUISH. THERE IS NOTHING OF THE FLESH WILL GIVE YOU JOY. I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH MONEY, I DON'T CARE WHAT KIND OF NEW HOUSE, THERE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING PHYSICAL THAT CAN GIVE YOU JOY. IT IS ONLY WHAT IS ACCOMPLISHED BY THE HOLY SPIRIT WHEN YOU OBEY HIM AND TAKE ON HIS HEART. BUILD THE WALLS AROUND YOUR FAMILY. BUILD THE WALLS AROUND YOUR OWN HEART. MAKE YOU STRONG AND IMPREGNABLE AGAINST THE ENEMY. GOD, THAT'S WHAT WE DESIRE.

COMPLAINING

2010-02-14T10:59:00.001-06:00

YOU'D BE FAT AND CRANKY TOO, IF YOU HAD LUPUS AND A BROKEN RIB

Enjoy

2010-02-13T18:57:00.000-06:00

Change

2010-02-12T06:37:00.003-06:00

Because we are coming into a new season we must change.

Over the last year or so , I have said multiple times that we need to prepare spiritually for the battle ahead. Now, I will go further.

We are coming into a new season. This season will be full of contradictions. You will see miracles from God and then you will see evil from hell. You will see, as I am sure you already have, the good in people wither away into consumption of evil.

God will and is doing new things and if His people will respond to this new thing they will see His glory. He does these new things because we are a new people. Different from our past generations. More skeptical. More resolute to the negative. More leaning toward the state of mind "show me" rather than a faith state of mind. So, He will bring a new thing into this new season.

The Lord is hovering over cities and people. He is hovering to bring a new birth. Just as He hovered over Mary and a child was born, He is again hovering and birthing. But, do we see the followers of this day running to see this new birth or are they cuddled in their warm homes, complacent and content with the status quo.

Being prepared spiritually means being ready to get out of our box. To be able to except a new thing from God, and to do this we must change.

We must look into our selves and look for those things in us that God finds repulsive. Not those things that we see ourselves doing every day, although, they also, need to be taken care of, but look deep. There are roots, generational roots, that need to be taken care of.

The old saying, something about a bad apple spoiling the whole bunch. This is true of our root. A bad root can and will ruin the rest of our growth. So, we either take care of that root by getting rid of it or and this is what we see most people doing, we just take care of the rest of the growth trying to stay ahead of the rot catching up we us.

Best to cut out that piece that leads us into hell. Then instead of us taking care to not let the rot catch us, we can relax and let God nourish our growth.

God sees that root and wants us to fix the problem. We ignore the root and will suffer the consequence.

When this new things comes and the glory of God is within this new thing, will you be able to enjoy or will you feel dirty and unworthy. Do. you have a root that needs to be taken care of. Then , dear reader, go into your prayer closet and turn it into an operating room. Give God the scalpel and let Him cut that thing out of you. Then you will enjoy the new thing and know that God is doing this new thing, just for you.

A Prophetic Word from Don Franklin

2010-02-10T06:46:00.006-06:00

Word of the Lord 2010 -The Holy Spirit is Rising

Prophecy by Don Franklin, @ Ignited Church, January 2010

Listen to audio: http://www.propheticroundtable.org/Audio/Word_for_2010.WMA

And I would even warn you now; I am going to go beyond your expectations; I’m going to go beyond your traditions. I’m going to go where you’ve never gone before because I’m going back to the Book of Acts. I’m going back to the foundation of the Church and I’m going to rebuild what the enemy destroyed.

You’re going to understand what grace is in a level, in a dimension you’ve never comprehended. You’re going to understand what the power of God is for. You’re going to understand that you cannot control the moves and the waves and the anointings of the Holy Ghost.

There is something coming upon the Church and the earth in this year. 2010 is an amazing year. You will see extremes in weather; you will see extremes in the Church and you will see extremes in the world. There is going to be a major, major, major division within the Church. And you are either going to come forward into future that the Holy Ghost has for the Church – I am going to wrestle the Church away from the hand of man and I’m going to bring it into the hand of the Holy Ghost.

And only those who will fully walk with and agree with and move with the Holy Ghost will prosper in the coming days. This is the Word of the Lord to the Church and it will be binding worldwide. The Holy Ghost is rising in every continent, every nation, every culture, every subculture and he is going to implement his control upon the Church.

It is going to be marvelous; it is going to be wonderful; it is going to be full of grace and love and glory and signs and wonders and everything that you’ve dreamed of. But the flipside to that is: those who will not cooperate with, walk with, and allow the Holy Spirit to have his control and even his dominance over the Church will simply be cut off and fall back. They will become a byword, a proverb, a waylaid; they will be cutoff. You will see them green for a season and then they will wither and die.

I am pruning; I am chopping; I am cutting at the Body and I’m going to restore people that you said could not be restored because of their sins, because of their failures, because of their faults. And I’m going to bring down those that you thought were impenetrable rocks, because at the core of those rocks there is rottenness, saith God; there is corruption; there is abuse and only the Lord knows.

Only God knew that David had killed Uriah and taken Bathsheba and Nathan only found out from the Word of the Lord. So it is, saith God, even those at times seem to be bulwarks and pillars of complete righteousness, sometimes within the core of that righteousness there is a spot; there is a blemish. The Lord says everything that has been done in secret shall be revealed.

So, reveal yourself at the altar. Go throw yourself on the altar. I do not want to harm anyone. I do not want to bring correction upon anyone. I do not want to expose anyone, saith God. Throw yourself upon the altar while you may; fall upon the Rock. Confess your sins; go before the Lord and lay yourself low. Say, “I know I’ve erred; I know I’ve sinned. I do not want to face open judgment.”

Because the day is coming when open judgment will come back to the Church. I dropped Herod in his tracks and turned him into worms. I brought Ananias and Sapphira to a low place. I will once again deal heavily with the Church, but in this dealing there will also be incredible blessing and power and anointing.

So, oh, lift up your heads; be full of joy; be full of happiness. Learn to live in a state of repentance before the Lord. Come to God with all of your problems. I am a father. I am moved by your plight; I am moved. I am not going to bring extreme judgment and correction upon those who come to the Lord with their problems. I will bring healing; the Son of Righteousness will rise with healing in his wings. You will not find condemnation from the hand of God.

Only when you seek to hide your sin and then to go forward and to actually manipulate and con the Body, then you will be exposed, saith the Lord. But there are major, major, major moves coming on every continent, in every nation.

And I’m bringing this church back into a powerful move and this congregation, this church will be at the forefront of what I am doing and it will be controversial. Get your shields up because the enemy will attack. Get your mind mentally prepared for the assault that the enemy will throw against this very House. There will come a demonic onslaught against this House. But I will give you armor that you have not know of yet; I will give you, release Angels into this House that have not yet been released.

If you will hide yourself in God, it won’t even touch you; it won’t even faze you. You will laugh at the assault of the enemy. And if you will align yourself with the Holy Ghost and do the things that he puts in your heart to do, you will find yourself rising, rising, rising, rising, rising, into a place in God that is impenetrable.

This is the Word of the Lord to you. Have faith; have joy; have happiness because great things are coming for you – great tribulation upon the Church and part of the House of God, but great reward and benefit for those who are low before the Lord confessing their sins and looking for the coming of the Son of Man.

Jeremiah 14

2010-02-09T08:08:00.004-06:00

The Lord has spoke to me through a friend and His Word.

Jeremiah 14 is in the natural, speaking of drought and famine. The Lord has showed me what the spiritual meaning is and it is frightening.

I wrote a post last year call "It is So", in the post the Lord showed me that He would be removing His Spirit from the land. Now, He, has again, confirmed this word.

The famine, is the removing of the Holy Spirit from this land. We look for the Spirit and long for the Spirit, but He is pulling away. He is not pulling away from us spiritually, but from the land.

We shout repentance, but the Lord has said to me "Your repentance means nothing without humility and you have forgotten how to be humble."

7 Although our sins testify against us,
O LORD, do something for the sake of your name.
For our backsliding is great;
we have sinned against you.

8 O Hope of Israel,
its Savior in times of distress,
why are you like a stranger in the land,
like a traveler who stays only a night?

A taste here and there, of the Holy Spirit, is not enough, but we settle for it. The church is complacent. We settle in every arena of life and spirituality for less than fullness. Where is our fear of the Lord?

10 This is what the LORD says about this people:
"They greatly love to wander;
they do not restrain their feet.
So the LORD does not accept them;
he will now remember their wickedness
and punish them for their sins."

I have said in the past to consider what God wants before you pray. You may be just praying against the will of God.

11 Then the LORD said to me, "Do not pray for the well-being of this people. 12 Although they fast, I will not listen to their cry; though they offer burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them. Instead, I will destroy them with the sword, famine and plague."

There comes a time, in the love of God, when even He, has had enough. The Lord has shown me, that enough is enough. The church, most, do not want to hear this word. It is easier to stay in their business instead of moving into the Spirit. It is easier to play Christian than to walk it. It is easier to flow with the stream than to flow against the tide. We have been warned through His word and through His prophets that He has grown tired of our playing Christian and yet we continue to be disobedient.

I grieve most often. It took my husbands mouth for me to figure it out. I grieve the loss of the Spirit in the land. I can feel Him leaving. I can feel the sin and depravity of that loss and I would like nothing more than to go with the Spirit.

Do you continue to walk in blatant sin. Has the Lord told you something or convicted you of something and you continue in your earthly contentment. We seem to listen to God and feel the conviction, but then with time we, again, grow complacent. We no longer humble ourselves to do the hard stuff.

Do you not understand that there is not enough time left for you to be fooling around with the Lord. NOT ENOUGH TIME!!!

Jeremiah 14 says it all. We are a fallen people in a land where the church does not care, any longer, about the things outside of the church. We, some how, have come into the idea, that, that stuff will not touch me. Please, listen, you have a responsibility to pray, spread the Word and to stand up against those things that are not of God.

It will get harder. But, if you can not stand up now, what will it be for you in the era to come. Build up your spiritual strength or you will be left behind and wonder why.

A Short Note "HICCUPS"

2010-02-08T09:02:00.003-06:00

I have cracked or bruised my ribs. Terribly painful.

This morning I got the hiccups. It felt like I was being torn apart.

I command "In the name of Jesus Christ you will stop". But, then in my agony, I added "Please".

Then I heard the Lord and in His gracious and compassionate ways He said, "With authority, girl".

My hiccups stopped.

SAD

2010-02-06T06:49:00.002-06:00

A Dream

2010-02-05T07:24:00.006-06:00

I fell the other night and cracked or bruised my rib. I am in a lot of pain and on pain medication. So, my mind is floating on drugs. But, I have something that I want to share. So, I hope that it will make sense.

I had a dream a few weeks back. In the dream, I am in the country. I am standing next to a house with my dog. The house is yellow, so it is not my farm house. I can not see another human being any where.

I look to the north and I see a fire storm coming at me. It is huge. Taller than any tree that I have ever seen and as wide as the east is to the west. There was a wind inside of it that made the fire roll and crash like the waves at the ocean side.

I knew that my dog and myself were about to die. I did not want my dog to fear, so I laid down on the ground and held onto him. As we laid there waiting, I said to the heavenlies, "God take me."

About that moment, I left my body and began to watch the scene from above. When I looked down on my body, the fire was rolling across and my body was not experiencing pain. But, the body that I was looking at, was now myself as a child. Then I woke up.

I am a very blessed person. I never remember my dreams in less they are from God. So, I began to ask God what the dream meant.

I did not get to far. No answer was forth coming. So, I shared the dream with my home church to see if God would speak through one of them. He did.

An end time dream, my friends began to seek God for answers. Weather, the fire storm was prophetic or not no one is sure. But, the rest of the dream became very clear. For myself, I have a need to always bring comfort to those in need. Even my dog would not be allowed to fear without comfort. The message from God that I must share with you is this.... That in this time. In this trial. In this struggle come to Him as a child.

The Word tells us this:

Matthew 18:3
Then he said, "I tell you the truth, you must change and become like little children. Otherwise, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

God has called me a dutiful alarm. So, I am sounding an alarm. It is of the utmost importance that you, dear reader, learn how to come to the Lord, rely on the Lord, as a child would their own parents.

We are in a time of many changes and trials. We will find that there is no where for us to turn, no one to help us, no peace. The chaos in your life might feel horrible now, just wait. This is only a fore taste of what is to come.

Pray, dear reader, pray. Ask your God to help you learn His ways and to teach you how to come to him as a child.

While my home church group was discussing my dream the Lord showed me more. When a child is born there is a blank slate in there brain. They have somethings that come by instinct for survival, but other than that, there is more or less nothing. Total reliance on those around them. There is not even trust there. This comes as the child grows. The child does, however, know the voice of God. This child just came from the maker of the universe and has not been thus far poisoned by the things of this earth. The child has a link to God.

This is how we need to be in this time. To be a blank slate transfixed on God. Coming to Him like a child. How to achieve this

. Psalm 119:105
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path

If I know the Word, which is how I was before I was born, then I will know how to react in any situation. The Word gives me comfort and peace. It instructs me in my daily life. I learn to lean on the Word, which is the Lord, in all things. It is my parent. The Word is what feeds me, it is what I rely on and trust. I learn from learning the word how to come to God has a child.

I become a child.

Time to Go!!!

2010-02-01T09:52:00.000-06:00

Years ago, the Lord spoke to me through Hawks. I wrote about it in the post "The Audible Voice of God". A few weeks back, the Lord, again spoke to me in this way.

My husband and I were coming home from working on the farm. My husband pointed out a huge hawk sitting on a fence post. I looked and praise God. Since my first experience with hawks and God, I always praise Him when I see one.

After, my praise, I turned my head back to the road and saw another hawk on the other side of the road. Then just like years before another and another hawk was found along side of the road.

I said to God, "You are obviously going to tell me something important, but I have a request. If it is time for us to leave the city, please let me see a hawk on the ground."

At the moment the Lord spoke, "You know how a hawk sits on high and stares at his prey? He stares so intently that he can see even his prey's muscle twitch. Go, when you see your enemies muscle twitch."

Again, like before, I had no idea what that meant, but I was excited.

The hawks did not stop. We drove for 60 miles and must have seen 30-40 hawks. When we got to the city, I thought they would stop. But, they did not. Then, from the ground a hawk, in the middle of the city, flew off the ground and flew right over the top of our car.

My husband and I looked at each other and smiled. Then fear came, then joy. Knowing that it was time to leave, but not knowing what to do next.

What would be our next step? Now, we know. My husband, after we after waited 13 months, has lost his job and we have no choice but to go. What great timing God has.

So, this is my husbands last week of work. We will finish work on the farm and move. The Lord told me to go last year and the time is nigh.

I praise the Lord for His love and timing and that He is always taking care of us.

Where Am I??

2009-09-02T10:29:00.003-05:00

Lately I have been much ado about nothing.

I have watched has the world falls further in decay and pray that the Lord's will be done here in this place. But, I know that where God is there to is Satan. I wonder, how many of us come under confusion in this hour.

I have, again, fallen under persecution, from the church. Which causes me to ponder my walk with God.

By walking in my gifts that the Lord has given me, I am again, ousted from the church. Because one does not understand a gift does not make it from Satan. So, I ask myself, am I out of line with God. Am I deceived by Satan and am serving him instead of the Living God.

So, in the eyes of the church I follow another besides Jesus. I am far from my redeemer.

My husband reminds me that the proof of walking with God is in the fruit of our labor. I have seen many blessed by God using me. But, if God is the great deceiver, than maybe those blessings are nothing more than the power of suggestion.

If I sound confused, I am. I know....Satan if the author of confusion. But, I must thing this through...my salvation is my concern.

Tired of leaving churches, my next move will be to either find another or stop going all together. I am not persecuted by my brothers and sisters in Christ, only by their spiritual head...the pastor. I am seen as dangerous by those in authority.

So, I ponder. Am I right in the eyes of God. Have I stepped over that spiritual line between God and darkness. Where am I...what am I in God's eyes? If He made me this way then He knew what lied ahead of me in the church. Where does he want me? It must not be going to church.

I would suppose that God would not want me to isolate..but, his leaders rebuke me and send me on my way. Oh, I could stay at the church I am at now, but, I would not be able to speak truth nor pray for the sick. I would be silenced.

I still have my small group, but that is through the church that is silencing me. They will tell those who attend, that go to the church, to stop going. That is just a small percentage of those who come, but it is still a call to silence me.

So, again I ponder. What do I do? Do I close my small group...Do I find another church....Do I isolate and keep silent? I do not have the answer as of yet. I, truly, have not asked God this question yet. Maybe, I do not want to know the answer.

I am a friend of God and I hope He is my friend. I pray that I am in line with the Holy of Holies.

Support Israel

2009-04-07T06:21:00.001-05:00

I have joined Christians United for Israel. If you would like to show your support for Israel..Pleas join. Click here.

A Good Read

2009-03-31T14:38:00.001-05:00

I am writing for a new online magazine. Drop by and give if a read. Agrarian Times.

Confirmation

2009-03-26T06:30:00.003-05:00

A few weeks back, I wrote a post called "IT IS SO". In this post I shared what God had shown me. He showed me what it would be like, hear on this earth, in the next few months. It would be like when God left Christ at the cross and Christ said "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me."

Well, I am mot one to look for the Biblical truth behind what God says to me. I just believe it to be so. But, for many this is the way to proof of the truth.

I have a young man whom I mentor. He accepts what God tells me as truth, but always heads to the Bible for confirmation. Many have rebuked what I have relayed on this word, so my young friends truth are important.

God will take out His spirit from the land.

2 Thessalonians 2:7 (Amplified Bible) For the mystery of lawlessness (that hidden principle of rebellion against constituted authority) is already at work in the world, [but it is] restrained only until he who restrains is taken out of the way.

Many say this can not be, because the Spirit lives within us. Even though it is here in black and white they refuse to listen. So, this last weekend, I again, was at the same location as the last retreat. And, again, I placed myself away from the camp at 5 am, in the rain and talked with God.

He told me that He does not take the Spirit from us but, from the land. Do people not understand that the Spirit can be in the land as easy as He can be in us. Without the Spirit in the land, lawlessness will be out of control.

Amos 8: 11-12 Behold, the days are coming, says the Lord God, when I will send a famine in the land, not a famine of bread, nor a thirst for water, but [a famine] for hearing the words of the Lord. And [the people] shall wander from sea to sea and from the north even to the east; they shall run to and fro to seek the word of the Lord [inquiring for and requiring it as one requires food], but shall not find it.

I hope that for all whom doubt what God has said to me, will now believe. Prepare for the Lord comes.

While I was sitting talking to the Lord this weekend, I had a bit of trouble. I had no questions for Him. I just sat there and waited for Him to speak. Thoughts would come to my head and then an answer. I said out loud. "Am I talking to myself?" It was different than our usual conversation. I left a little in doubt that I was hearing from God. Then He confirmed what I was hearing.

My mind was mostly concerned with our farm. Was I doing the right thing by getting it ready for people to run to when things got bad. These are the things that God said to me.

"Calamity will pour out like rain, but you will be refreshed knowing that I am returning."

"Find joy in all things".

Then I started to wonder and ask questions.

"Lord, how will I know you?"

He answered, "You will find me in the rocks, in the trees, in the people."

So, I asked a question that I have pondered for a while. I had been taken away into two visions at two different times that were similar. One was my own execution. The other, my young friends execution. So, I asked, are these truth.

He answered. "There are two paths. One is yours and one is mine. Stay out of the city."

Not sure if I was manipulating the conversation, I went back to the lodge and opened my Bible. It opened to Isaiah 26:3-4 and then He told me to read verse 20.

Isaiah 26:3-4 (Amplified Bible) You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You. So trust in the Lord (commit yourself to Him, lean on Him, hope confidently in Him) forever; for the Lord God is an everlasting Rock [the Rock of Ages].

And 20.

Isaiah 26:20 (Amplified Bible) Come, my people, enter your chambers and shut your doors behind you; hide yourselves for a little while until the [Lord's] wrath is past.

My own Biblical confirmation. Thank you God.

Can Not Kill Me

2009-03-17T18:24:00.003-05:00

So, I have been struggling, a little bit, this last week.

I have been sick. Started with a sore throat and progressively got worse. Then Sunday, I realized, that I had pneumonia. Stayed home from church and made plans to go the the doctor on Monday.

By Monday morning, I was in pretty bad shape. So, my husband stayed home with me and I called the doctor. My doctor was on vacation. The office called me back and told me that another doctor would see me. I was more than a little grateful.

The doctor had x-rays done and sure enough...pneumonia. He gave me some of those super antibiotics. And sent me on my way. Had the prescription filled. I was in such a hurry to get this medicine in me, I took the pill in the car.

I have had pneumonia many times and know that when that first pill takes effect, I will not be in any more pain. So, I was excited to swallow that first pill.

A half an hour later...My head is getting hot. Then hives. Huge hives. I called the pharmacy and was told "GET TO THE HOSPITAL QUICK AND GET A SHOT". Well, ok. So, off we went.

Now, I have a lot of allergies. Life has been weird to me in this area. I can be allergic to something and then not allergic to it another. I coded on iodine years ago. Anyway...I am pretty could at telling how I am doing. So, I sat in the hospital parking lot for a while. Not wanting to waste theirs nor my time. But, my husband was more incident. He said he would not be able to rest for fear I would stop breathing. So, I gave in and went inside.

Now, I am a terror in a hospital. I figure they work for me and I have a big say in what they do and do not do. I am allergic to the preservatives in injectable drugs. NO SHOTS. Which I kinda like...because I hate shots.

After a wait, I was taken care of by pills and given new antibiotics for my lungs and treatment for the allergic reaction.

Not my best day. But, God is good. As I look back on it, I love to watch God's hand at work and how He orchestrates our entire day.

NO SATAN YOU CAN NOT KILL ME.

I have an ordained time to die and God knows when that is and your schemes will not hold up. When I am done...then I am done.

I love my God and I love to watch Satan's armor get dented now and then by his inept attempts at destruction.

Grief

2009-03-12T13:59:00.003-05:00

I told someone, that I did not have much to write about lately, because not many want to hear that times is short.

I know that it has been said over and over again that the end is coming. But, things were never in place like they are now.

God has given me and some friends vision of our future and all have felt the pain of that. I had an occasion to talk to God about my feelings and His response was short.

I had been working on our farm. God has called us back to the farm to prepare for the things to come. I decided to take a break and went down to the pond to pray. My new dog went with me. He is an Australian Shepard. He will be used for herding. He came into my life quite suddenly. One year old and full of life. He never rests.

While sitting at the pond, I told God, "I do not want this." I then began to grieve what my vision had shown me. My dog came to me and showed me compassion. I was shocked. He is usually totally out of control.

When he came to me, I heard God say..."I gave you your dog as a gift."

"Well, then, he is the perfect dog." I said to God.

Then God surprised me. He told me..."Grieve now...You will not have time later."

Wow, what a shock. I wept a bit more, then headed back to the house.

I found a friend taking a break. He told me that while he was tilling the garden, he had begun to weep over what is to come. He then said that God had told him to "grieve now, because he would not have time later"

I have wondered if we were having the same talk with God at the same time.

So, we both grieved and then we went to work. My grief is over and now I will walk in joy. The joy of knowing that everything is planned by God and His plans are perfect.

I will try to write more often and try to be uplifting.

It Is So

2009-02-23T06:11:00.004-06:00

This past weekend I went on a retreat. I have gotten so, when I go on a retreat, I go with a purpose other than stated for the retreat. I usually go with a question for God. I expect Him to answer and He always does.

This weekend my question was..."What will it be like in the world in the next few months".

Now, since God's timing is not our timing, I am hoping and praying that His answer is not in the next few months. His answer caused me great fear and trembling.

I had gone out the night we arrived, with a group of people, to a place at the retreat where a cross stands on top of a hill overlooking a valley and river. It was late at night and the stars we shining. The darkness of the place let one see the multitude of stars and many spoke of God's creation.

In the morning, I went back out to the cross at six in the morning. Alone, I spoke to God. We sat together for a while and He did not speak to me. I concentrated on my breathing while I listened for an answer to my question. None came.

I looked to the sky and to my amazement there was only one star in the sky. While I looked at the star God spoke and said "lone". I was dumb founded. Is this the answer to my question? "Very strange" I thought.

For most of the day, I looked for a dictionary. I have found that many times when God speaks the answer is in the definition. No one had a dictionary...so I continued with my day.

There where classes that I attended. Very basis classes om Christian life, but I felt I needed to get back to the simplicity of God. In one class, I opened my Bil be to Joel. I thought, I do not really want to read Joel, so I turned to James. Next, thing I know, I am back at Joel. So, I began to read. While I was reading the Lord told me that this, the content of the book is the United States now. I grew uncomfortable. I asked, "Who is the nation that has invaded us." He told me "gluttony" and "materialism". I read the book and thought about His return.

At about 1:00 we watched at video on Christ's crucifixion and then walked outside to the cross. There the description of the bodies response to crucifixion was read. In that reading the words that Christ spoke on the cross were read. I was in and out of listening not really wanting to hear about my God's death, but I tuned in at the words of Christ.

When the reader got to "My Father, why have you forsaken me", it felt as if the oxygen had been sucked out of my body. My response was silent, but I wanted to wail. I could feel the pain of the Holy Spirit. I wanted to breath and I wanted to scream. Then I heard the answer to my question.

"This is how it will be." Just has the Lord felt the loss of God, at that moment...we will feel the loss.

When we went back to class, I could not speak, I just cried. The Spirit of the Lord was wailing inside of me for the lost children of God. I could feel the shortness of time and the pain that God feels.

I have recovered physically, but emotionally still grieve as does the Spirit. It is Monday and the pain still so clear. I sat with people Sunday and listened to there talk of weight loss, shopping and other insignificant things and could hardly contain myself. I felt like I had a message that needed to be spoke but, knew that not all could handle the message. So, I shared with a few. Some understood with great trembling, others wanted to argue. I have no need to argue and rest in the Word's of my God.

What is important? What is significant? My relationship with the God of this universe. When I listened to all those around me, I questioned and spoke to God. Feeling the urgency of what He was saying I felt a loss for even those Christians that pay no attention to God's words. He assured me, that He was in charge and He would show me whom to speak to of these things.

So, dear reader, you are one of those to speak to. I have given you the words from the Lord and with that I can rest. I have no need to argue or try to prove what God said...It is so...it is amen and amen.

"It's about Me"

2009-02-10T06:41:00.003-06:00

The Lord has called me an "Dutiful Alarm". So, I again send up an alarm. I asked the Lord, this past Sunday, how we are to prepare for the coming darkness. He answered me with three words "It's about Me."

This prophetic word was sent to me and I now share it with you. It is about "Him" and I obediently sound this alarm.

This is a Maverick Nation
prophecy by Don Franklin

I am He that holds the winds of the Earth in my hand and I hold the future of the nations in my hand, and I will stand and I will raise a standard in this nation, and this nation will become a maverick nation, saith the Lord. It will rebel against the World Order. It will rebel against the hand of the Antichrist. It will rebel against what is coming upon the nations of this planet, and this nation will stand as the very armor bear of God and resist the evil that is coming.

There will be a huge gigantic clash, saith the Lord. Prepare yourself; prepare yourself for battle, saith God. For the days that are coming will be full of conflict and battle, but I will give a peace to those who are upon their knees; you will find the peace of God in the midst of incredible storms upon your knees. Only those that are submitted to God will survive. Those that are ruling and reigning from their knees will be able to stand the flood that is coming in the coming days.

Get to your faces; get to your knees; get to the lowest place you can find. Find favor with God; find grace. Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord; Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord; Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord. There is a Noah anointing – a Noah mantle – coming upon the nations for those who will find grace in the eyes of the Lord.

Humble yourself. Go to the back of the feast. Confess your sins. Fall down before the Mighty King of Glory, for he comes to the nations to shake and to tear asunder and to do everything that is within his heart to take care of the things that are displeasing to him. Those heads that are stuck up above the pews will be cut off by the sword of the Lord.

The sword of the Lord is coming through the House of God, through the houses of God and it will take off the heads of everyone who is not upon the carpet remitting, asking for forgiveness for their transgressions, and their sins, and humbling themselves before the Mighty One of the Universe.

Fall down before him and find grace in the eyes of God. Come to the Son. Let remission come to your life. Let confession come to your heart. Let grace of God fall upon you that when you stand, you stand in his righteousness. When you walk, you walk in his footsteps. When you speak, you speak the very words of God.

Find grace in the eyes of the Lord. Seek the Lord while he may be found. There is a time; there is a space. I am still allowing mass repentance across the nations, but there is coming a time when the hearts of those who are enemies of God will be hardened in their conditions and they will not find the salvation of God and they will be sent to their eternal destinies.

So, while grace is upon thee, find the grace of the Lord. Preach the grace of God to the nations. Preach the grace of God to the nations. Preach the grace of God to the nations, that there is still a window, a season and time to find the Almighty, to find the grace of God, to find compassion in the Father's heart, for it is not my will that they should perish. The Holy Spirit will convict you. No one needs to come and tell you your sins. The Holy Ghost will tell you what you've done right or wrong in the eyes of God, in the sight of God.

You will know you have found a deliverance with God, when the peace of God floods your heart and your soul. If you have not peace with God, then come to the altar and let us agree together, saith the Lord. Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as snow. I will wash you white. I will take care of every problem you've ever had if you will simply come and say, "I am in need, my God. I realize I'm a mess; I'm I wreck; I'm in trouble; help me, God! Help me; help me; help me!"

My ear is open to the cry of the Righteous. My heart can be moved with compassion for those who are suffering, even within the Church. Those who are caught in the webs of lies and deceit and sins, repent, saith God. There's time; there's space; there's season to get right with the Almighty and to walk in the white righteousness of his robes and to be received into heaven in glory and power. That is the message that is going to go out to the churches in the coming days.

Repent for the Great One of Glory comes to inspect his bride, to see his church and to bring both rewards in one hand and correction in the other. Knowing therefore the terror of the Lord, we do persuade men to repent.

Redeeming The Land

2009-02-05T06:33:00.004-06:00

Years ago, when I first became a Christian, I lived on our farm. I was so excited to find out there truly was a God and was flying high. Then things began to change for me and I began to walk in the supernatural.

At the farm, I began to feel things touching my body. One felt like a finger going down my back another a thump on my head. These things increased to a point where I felt like I would not be able to take it all.

After, a while, I grew in my walk, but these problems at the farm continued. My walk became one of deliverance, inner healings and the prophetic. I hated to go home because of all the demonic torment that was there, but that was my home.

Then I was diagnosed with Lupus and my health quickly declined. God told me I would be sick for two years. But, in the midst of my suffering, I forgot that detail. My decline became so great, that I had to move to town to be close to a hospital. I was not so sad about moving, because of the torment at the farm.

We moved and the torment let up. I would from time to time have problems in my home, but nothing like the farm. I was healed, by Jesus' name, from Lupus and my ministry grew. It was exactly two years.

Now, we are going back to the farm. My husband asked me about the torment at the farm and if I had experienced any thing that intense since. Dear reader, nothing has come close to the torment at the farm.

So, I made a decision. I would go to the farm and redeem the land. I took with me, my husband and a friend who is a prophet. Side note...He will be a contributing writer on this blog in a few weeks.

We prayed over the house and the land. I could feel the unclean spirits and saw a few. We prayed for a long time. Some left, some did not. Then we heard a noise. It was a bird. The bird was close and screaming. My husband went to one of the bedrooms. He called to us that a bird was in the bedroom.

He and my friend went in and shut the door. Quickly they came out and said the bird was out the window. This amazed me that it happened so fast, but I went on. The house was clean and we took off on other adventures.

Later I began to ponder and remembered something. I had been praying that God would reveal the spirits in the house, so that we would know when it was done and the house was clean. He showed me that the bird leaving was a sign from Him that He had cleaned my house and that nothing was left inside.

Thank you God.

In my walk, at the farm, early in my Christian life, I could not get these things to leave my home. I did not know how to handle them. This weekend when we reclaimed the land, I asked God about this and He said to me "Why do you think I moved you to the city."

I laughed. I understood. There was much for me to learn about the spirit realm and God had sent me to the city for lessons. He brought me many mature Christians who taught me and allowed me to grow the way He wanted me to. They never questioned what God was doing in me nor the gifts, as strange as they may be, in me.

Now, I am going back to the farm, where it all began. A place that God picked out for us. A place of sanctuary. A place, that now, is full of Him and Him alone. A place that He has set aside for His work and pleasure. My Lord, as brought me full circle.

Confession

2009-02-04T07:27:00.003-06:00

I am sitting in my basement writing...my laptop took a dive. I have never liked being in the basement...not sure why. I suppose, I need to be on top of everything.

I realized last night what little faith I have in God's promise of provision and how materialistic I am.

We found out yesterday, that 2,400 folks will be laid off at my husbands plant. Even with 20 years, my husband, without the help of God, will be laid off.

We have made plans for this event, but the reality hit me last night and I cried.

It certainly will be the end of the world as I have know it.

God has blessed us in every way. We can not sustain this life style on unemployment and disability. We do not live above our means, but we have rental property, a farm and the house we now live in. We have to cut back and take losses.

So. I grieved last night. I do not want to give up the house I live in. It was a gift from God, but I suppose it was for a moment in time. He gave us the farm also and that is were we will be headed. I realized that the farm is a provision from God. It can sustain us with food and income, but it is run down and I, in my late years, do not want to take on the task.

Selfish?? Yes. Materialistic? Yes. Frightened? Yes.

In the last few posts, I have published predictions and prophesies about the United States. I posted them for you, my dear reader, to heed. So, I need to heed them as well. And I need to trust the God of the universe and believe.

This kind of thing certainly takes you back to the basics of our faith. The old song "Trust and Obey" comes to mind. "Cause there's no other way". My faith is small and my trust is small, my hope is small. But, I will hold onto the hem of the Lord's garment and cry out His name. "With out you Lord, I can do nothing".

Wilkerson's Predictions continured

2009-02-03T08:34:00.003-06:00

David Wilkerson wrote 'Set the Trumpet to Thy Mouth' in 1985. The first paragraph of chapter one reads thus.

America is going to be destroyed by fire! Sudden destruction is coming and few will escape. Unexpectedly, and in one hour, a hydrogen holocaust will engulf America -- and this nation will be no more.
It is because America has sinned against the greatest light. Other nations are just as sinful, but none are as flooded with gospel light as ours. God is going to judge America for its violence, its crimes, its backsliding, its murdering of millions of babies, its flaunting of homosexuality and sadomasochism, its corruption, its drunkenness and drug abuse, its form of godliness without power, its lukewarmness toward Christ, its rampant divorce and adultery, its lewd pornography, its child molestations, its cheating, its robbing, its dirty movies, and its occult practices.
In one hour it will all be over. To the natural mind it is insanity to come against a prosperous, powerful nation and cry out, "It's all over! Judgment is at the door! Our days are numbered!" The Church is asleep, the congregations are at ease, and the shepherds slumber. How they will scoff and laugh at this message. Theologians will reject it because they can't fit it into their doctrine. The pillow prophets of peace and prosperity will publicly denounce it.
I no longer care. God has made my face like flint and put steel in my backbone. I am blowing the Lord's trumpet with all my might. Let the whole world and all the church call me crazy, but I must blow the trumpet and awaken God's people. Believe it or not, America is about to be shaken and set aside by swift and horrible judgments. Many other praying believers who have been shut in with God are hearing the very same message - "Judgment is at the door! Prepare, awaken!"

Ever since this message came to me, I have been searching God's Word from cover to cover. No prophecy is valid unless it is positively confirmed by God's holy Word. I discovered in the Word God's pattern of judgment.

He later writes:

"America will not Repent"...."God promised to preserve America only if it turned from its evil....This nation has not repented but has turned its back....I see almighty God even now slowly turning His back on this nation. America is on the verge of committing the unpardonable sin by resisting the Holy Ghost. Soon, there will be repentance only for individuals, but not for the nation."

Prophesy David Wilderson

2009-02-02T07:44:00.003-06:00

This is a prophesy from David Wilkerson. He has been prophesying economic ruin for the United States from decades. I will post a few of these prophesies this week. I pray you will read and heed.

David Wilkerson's Economic Vision

Key points to remember about this vision:

1. From the time the first country goes down, you'll have two weeks to get your money out of the bank.

2. America will come through this crisis---there will be a restoration.

3. But the nation will never be like it was before...

4. God is saying: Get our lives straight...Get rid of the idols...Seek the face of God in holiness...

5. God will be a wall of fire about you...And the glory in the midst of you!

It's about to happen---very soon, one nation, and I'm speaking prophetically--if I've ever heard anything from God in my life, I heard it ... Very soon a European or North African or Eastern nation is going to default on its international loan and when that happens, within two weeks, Mexico is going to default. Mexico owes $100 billion ---80% of it to American banks---and here's what is going to happen: about two weeks after the first country goes bankrupt, (we're going to survive that, because most of that (money of the first country) is owed to European banks---German, Swiss and French banks) but a second country is going to go down, probably Argentina or Brazil, and we'll kind of live that down and say: "Well, maybe it's not going to hurt," but two weeks after the first country goes down, Mexico's going to default on $100 billion.

And when the banks open the next day at 9 in the morning, $15 billion an hour is going to be withdrawn from our American banks -they're going to be running our banks---the Arabs---all the Latin American countries, they're going to be running our banks--and before the day is over, the U.S.A is going to have to declare a "bank holiday."

SIX MONTHS OF HORROR:

And we're going into six months of the worst hell America has ever seen---there's going to be chaos---not even the National Guard's going to be able to quiet it down---we're going to have to call out the whole U.S. Army.

Now I've had visions recently, for I've been in New York City and I was in Macy's in a vision, and I saw people walking around stunned because they couldn't get their money out of the bank.

Now I'm going to give you a word of advice, the first country goes bankrupt---I've documented this and I've got it sealed in an envelope, and I'm going to call all my friends and I'm telling you---this is the first time I've said it in a public meeting like this---but the first country that bellies up, you go get every dime you have---church get your money out of the bank--because there's going to be a 'bank holiday' and you won't be able to get a dime for six months. Now, of course, there's going to be -restored, but the nation will never be like it is again.

There's going to be fear like we've never known---judgment at the door. When I was at Macy's Dept. store in a vision and I watched people walking around stunned, they didn't know what to do, they didn't know what was happening; then a bunch of people walked into Macy's and suddenly went wild and began to steal and within an hour everybody---I saw the spirit of everybody in the store---they were robbing and stealing---they raped Macy's and destroyed five floors---Macy's was raped and ruined in a period of an hour or two.

That's just the beginning. Folks it's all in this book (the bible) ---we've been warned and warned and warned---you can't tell me God hasn't warned us. You can't tell me God isn't saying something awesome here tonight in this church...we better get our prayer life straightened up, our lives straightened up, get rid of the idols, as Paul writes, and seeking the face of God in holiness or you're not going to be ready for what's coming. God's warning, get ready and you'll not fear these things that come onto you and you'll start rejoicing, you'll not be afraid because your hands will be clean. You've been praying and God's building a wall of fire around you to keep you."

We'd like to teach you a song about God's protection. It goes like this.: "There's a wall of fire around me...There's a wall of fire between my soul and the enemy. There's a wall of fire that you can't see...Between my soul and the enemy. There's a wall of fire around me. May it be so with us all..

Planning Ahead

2009-01-30T05:46:00.004-06:00

My husband and I are waiting for layoffs. The last time there were layoffs my husband was the next in line to be laid off for a year but, it never happened. We prayed a lot that year and God blessed us.

This time, well...we will see.

Because of this round of layoffs, my husband and I have been planning what to do about our situation. Not, knowing what to do, I went on a fast to find the answers. Maybe, because God knew I would not get very far in my fast or maybe because He simply wanted things done quickly, He answered me in the first day.

He told me to pay off the farm with our 401k when things get bad. Ok, things are going to get bad. Something I already knew, but did not want to hear. He said to me, that on the farm, we can not work and pay the mortgage. But, in the city, we can find work and pay that mortgage.

So, simple, one would wonder why I had to go to God for that. I suppose it was so I would be doing His will not mine, which is to stay in my home in the city.

Because of this word from God, we are stepping up our homesteading plans.

But, last night, my small group spoke prophetically over each other. One of the words I got from my son, Kansas Exorcist Society, was that our ministry was here. Meaning in our home in the city. He is new to this gift, but I know that he hears from God, so I needed to take a look at what he was saying.

Both the farm and the home in the city were gifts from God. He just handed them to us. In town, we have ministered to many in our home. Our door is constantly opening to folks whom need deliverance, inner healings or just prayer. So, what is God telling me? We may need to give this home up and go to the country, which we are preparing for.

As, I prayed for this and as I write, I am reminded what a friend, a prophet, said to me yesterday. "Perhaps you home is to be a mission". This is beginning to make perfect since to me.

It has been prophesied that there will be many safe houses in Wichita. That this will be a need in the future. I believe that this house, where I sit now, will continue to be used as a place of ministry and safety. I hear often, that my house is so peaceful and many have run here for safety.

Not sure how all this will look, but I am just trusting the Lord and willing to obey.

I continue to pray that in the days ahead.... The days of dark, that God will be glorified through His people. That no matter what the future holds, we, His people will show His light in a dark and foreboding place.

Where is the United States?

2009-01-29T07:35:00.007-06:00

The post yesterday, on predictions for the United States, got a lot of peoples attention. I am not surprised but, hope that all that have read it see the significances to the end time prophesy of the Bible.

I have been asked many times, where the United States is in the book of Revelation or if the United States is mentioned in the end times. Well, "no", it is not and if you read yesterday's post, you can see why.

So, we could look at this as the United States becomes an undeveloped country, with no power or we could look at it another way.

The Bible states, that all nations come against Israel. Many people say this is impossible. The U.S. would never turn its back on Israel. But, if we did not exist this very thing could happen. Below is a map of the divided U.S. that was published is the Wall Street Journal. It was drawn by Igor Panarin’s a Russian. The map is pure speculation and propaganda for Russia, but it is interesting.

Click to enlarge

Could this kind of thing happen. I believe it could. When a country collapses on itself who rescues them? We have sold so much of ourselves to other countries, I suppose they could come in, without a fight, and take possession.

All speculation, but does hold a touch of truth.

As a Christian, I lean on my faith to see me through these predicted times. I hold to the truth of my faith and the warnings from my God. Knowing that these things are planned out, gives me strength and peace. But, I also, prepare.

I prepare by building my faith and not sitting idly by and watching. My husband and I are preparing the farm for ourselves and family to live on in relative safety. At least it will get us out of the city where I believe it will be horrible.

Proverbs 21:20
In the house of the wise are stores of choice food and oil, but a foolish man devours all he has.

Our world as become more dangerous and more confused. I will not be confused by keeping my eyes on God and will not live in danger because the wise man sees danger and prepares.

United States Predictions

2009-01-27T17:22:00.004-06:00

I borrowed this information from Channel of Healing. This is some info on Gerald Celente who has written this forecast I have no reason to doubt what he is saying

Gerald Celente:

The United States of America will witness a major economic down turn within the next four years, transforming it from one of the strongest economies in the world to an ‘undeveloped nation”, Gerald Celente, the CEO of Trends Research Institute has forecasted

Celente of the Trends Research Institute who specialises in forecasting about social, economic, consumer and political trends, and had predicted the 1987 stock market crash and the fall of the Soviet Union is now forecasting revolution in America, food riots and tax rebellions - all within four years, while cautioning that putting food on the table will be a more pressing concern than buying Christmas gifts by 2012.

Gerald Celente, the CEO of Trends Research Institute, is renowned for his accuracy in predicting future world and economic events, which will send a chill down your spine considering what he told Fox News this week.

Celente says that by 2012 America will become an undeveloped nation, that there will be a revolution marked by food riots, squatter rebellions, tax revolts and job marches, and that holidays will be more about obtaining food, not gifts.

“We’re going to see the end of the retail Christmas….we’re going to see a fundamental shift take place….putting food on the table is going to be more important that putting gifts under the Christmas tree,” said Celente, adding that the situation would be “worse than the great depression”.

“America’s going to go through a transition the likes of which no one is prepared for,” said Celente, noting that people’s refusal to acknowledge that America was even in a recession highlights how big a problem denial is in being ready for the true scale of the crisis

Celente, who successfully predicted the 1997 Asian Currency Crisis, the subprime mortgage collapse and the massive devaluation of the U.S. dollar, told UPI in November last year that the following year would be known as “The Panic of 2008,” adding that “giants (would) tumble to their deaths,” which is exactly what we have witnessed with the collapse of Lehman Brothers, Bear Stearns and others. He also said that the dollar would eventually be devalued by as much as 90 per cent.

The consequence of what we have seen unfold this year would lead to a lowering in living standards, Celente predicted a year ago, which is also being borne out by plummeting retail sales figures.

The prospect of revolution was a concept echoed by a British Ministry of Defence report last year, which predicted that within 30 years, the growing gap between the super rich and the middle class, along with an urban underclass threatening social order would mean, “The world’s middle classes might unite, using access to knowledge, resources and skills to shape transnational processes in their own class interest,” and that, “The middle classes could become a revolutionary class.”

In a separate recent interview, Celente went further on the subject of revolution in America.

“There will be a revolution in this country,” he said. “It’s not going to come yet, but it’s going to come down the line and we’re going to see a third party and this was the catalyst for it: the takeover of Washington, D. C., in broad daylight by Wall Street in this bloodless coup. And it will happen as conditions continue to worsen.”

“The first thing to do is organize with tax revolts. That’s going to be the big one because people can’t afford to pay more school tax, property tax, any kind of tax. You’re going to start seeing those kinds of protests start to develop.”

“It’s going to be very bleak. Very sad. And there is going to be a lot of homeless, the likes of which we have never seen before. Tent cities are already sprouting up around the country and we’re going to see many more.”

“We’re going to start seeing huge areas of vacant real estate and squatters living in them as well. It’s going to be a picture the likes of which Americans are not going to be used to. It’s going to come as a shock and with it, there’s going to be a lot of crime. And the crime is going to be a lot worse than it was before because in the last 1929 Depression, people’s minds weren’t wrecked on all these modern drugs – over-the-counter drugs, or crystal meth or whatever it might be. So, you have a huge underclass of very desperate people with their minds chemically blown beyond anybody’s comprehension.”

Saturday

2009-01-26T04:35:00.003-06:00

Praise God!!

The last nine posts were written Saturday. They were all written by individuals that spent eleven hours praying over a child with Cerebral Palsy.

What an amazing time.

So, I thought I would write a summary of what happened and my experiences of that day.

Within the second hour of prayer, we began to see changes in the child. He became more active...trying to get up and speaking clearly.

I watched throughout the day as God moved not only on the child, but on everyone as they prayed.

I saw the desperation on a father as he prayed over his son. His tears flowed freely as he prayed. There were times where his anger would rise up and his prayers became more commanding then pleading. But, he saw and heard God moving and his hope grew.

Five of us stayed with the boy the entire day, while others came in and out of my home taking an hour or more out of their day to pray.

Some had never stepped out in such a way, praying for the sick. God moved on these people and showed them his power. One felt tingling in his hands and heard God's leading on where to touch the child. Another, so very new at Christianity, prayed enclosing the boy with his body, while lifting his voice to the Lord. I was moved by his simplicity of love.

For myself, I heard throughout the day that I should speak to the child's spirit. So, I did and told his father to do the same. Late in the day, a friend came to pray, and I sat down with him. We both hear from God very clearly and have both been doing this for a long time.

God told him to tell the boy's spirit man to rise up. Now, I had confirmation that this is exactly what God was wanting. So, we prayed. As we prayed, the parents sat down with us. The gift of tongues filled the room and soon I was overcome with laughter.

The inappropriateness of this struck me, but this just caused me to laugh harder. The boys father, was reading aloud the Word and when he read that we should be in awe of God, I heard God say, "You people take me far more serious than I do". Now, I am falling apart with laughter.

My, dear friend, who had come to pray, speaks out that we have come to the father as children. Then I heard the boy's father read..."Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." When he finished this word, God said to me.."You have asked so often....here is your portion of joy".

That did it for me...I fell apart with laughter. My ribs hurt and my mouth became sore. All the time, I tried to keep my prayers going, but found it difficult. I was disruptive to the others but was out of control. The others, however, kept their prayers going, while smiling at me.

Sunday morning, when we all gathered at church, we of course asked about the child. He has had serious intestine problems since birth and today for the first time, he was normal.

We saw God move Saturday. Maybe, not as we would have liked him to move, but He did move. We continue to pray and will discuss, Thursday, fasting and prayer.

We have not given up. We will press in even harder. God loves this child, as to we, and we will see his spirit man rise up and walk.

BRET'S MIRACLE THROUGH THE HOLY SPIRIT!!!

2009-01-24T19:35:00.006-06:00

TODAY ELVEN CHRISTIANS PRAYED FOR Bret's miracle including myself! PRAYING FOR HOPE AND THE POWER OF GOD/HOLY SPIRIT/ THOUGH OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST! As we were praying this miracle started to happen, Bret aka my nephew started gaining more control through his body! his speech got better his muscles grew stronger instantly! in the Bible it says, "ask and you shall receive" And have no doubt only faith!
The house was full of the faith and the Holy Spirit. no one had any doubt that God's work would be done, we did this through the soaking prayer. God answered our questions today because we prayed in Jesus' name and the Holy Spirit. the Bible and "facing the giants" quotes, Through God, all things are possible. Also, God can open up doors that no man alone can open and close doors no man alone can close!!
With all this being said, for those of you who don't believe, i really wish you would have been here today to see the MIRACLES that Jesus Christ the only living God worked! you can quote me, seek God and his righteousness and you shall enter into his Kingdom! The closer you get to God the better your life will be! take it from me, i had doubt before but today the Holy Spirit has changed me forever! It says in the Bible to seek his Kingdom all you have to do is ask for His forgiveness, and truly mean it. (repent) And you shall be saved TODAY. nothing is better than God, the Holy Spirit and Christ! Go seek it yourself from the Word of God (the Holy Bible) watch the passion of the Christ, you'll truly see how much love and compassion Jesus has for us! he was not just hung on a cross, he was BEATEN and whipped, slashed open and was crowned with a crown of thorns as drunken romans were mocking him! The Bible says on the 3rd day He will rise from the dead, just as he did! My God is ALIVE!
that being said, I'm now a disciple. I'm a cocaine addict who used to steal from people to get my fix, and now I'm spreading the Gospel truth! If i, an 18 year old can do it, anyone can! I used to drink and drug and now Im only seeking to get drunk in the Spirit of God! Also the Bible says, he's our Shepard, we are his sheep, He doesn't want to lose any of them! Fear no evil but only the power of God.
With all this said, the experience of God has changed my life forever!

If you ever want to know the truth or are ever mad, i'll tell ya, just pick up your Bible and read!
sincerely,
BRET'S UNCLE SHAWN!

2009-01-24T17:38:00.003-06:00

I came over to given55's house to pray for a little four year old boy. While I was praying for him the Lord impressed to me in the spirit that this boy has parents that truly love the Lord and are feeding him the Word of God Daily. That excites me, I wish I would have grown up in such a household. This boy who I prayed for was sleeping when I got here and while I prayed his body began to move voluntarily and his hands really began moving and the thing that stood out to me about his hands was that his fingers straightened out flexing back and forth. It's truly amazing once you think about the Holy Spirit and the power of God. It seems like people nowadays just don't realize the power of God or how maneuverable God is or can be through people. I'm just a simple guy that serves God I am not a Medical Doctor and here this boy is doing these things that modern medicine or even doctors can't do for him. While I prayed for him I focused on the little boy's spirit man and spoke to it to rise up within him. And that's when all of the movement began. God is real, face it. Nothing will ever stop the Holy Spirit from ministering except for limitations we set on God through religion or doctrine and/or ignorance. Don't limit God and watch His wonders with Awe. I named this boy, boy wonder because when people see what God ultimately does with him they are going to wonder hard on how real the Lord of Heaven is. I witnessed a miracle right before my eyes watching this child move on his own in ways which modern medicine say are impossible. So I laugh in the face of technology, ha,ha,ha! And I praise God in his Authority and Freedom (& Love):P

UPDATE

2009-01-24T17:23:00.003-06:00

Today has been so humble and amazing!
The spirit of the Lord has been upon me several different times.
I'm so thankful for the people God has placed in our life!
without them we would still be walking blind. The Lord has brought us together for reasons so clear, and one of them is true happiness!
... Bret is asleep right now and has been for 30 min or so. He has brought us to our child-like spirit! So happy and giddy! I'm so excited for what God has in store for my son! =)

Jessica "mom"

Prayer

2009-01-24T16:01:00.004-06:00

Our prayers today are many. We call to the Lord with our hearts broken and exposed. I look at Brett and see God. I look at Brett and see love. I look at Brett and see hope.

My God, help us to find you in a new way. We need you Lord. You are our strong tower. Our only way to hope.

We seek you in this hour, calling upon all we know to do and yet... we still wait. I feel you move through my home and I see you in the faces of those who pray and yet we wait.

We wait for that moment when you are glorified and Brett rises up and walks. We wait for you Lord. Without you, we are undone, lost and confused. With you.. we are assured and have confidence.

I speak to the heavens, that you alone, oh Lord, command.. and I call for your healing grace to fall. Fall on the child. Heal him through your son. Our lord, Jesus. Bring your mighty arm to comfort and heal. Show us what it is you want from us, because there is not one, among us, who would not give all for this child.

I pray, oh Lord, for mercy. Mercy on Brett.

Given55

2009-01-24T11:45:00.004-06:00

God is amazing in His ability to pour out His Spirit on His children, not only individually, but collectively. Over and over, in each and every one of us praying for our little miracle boy today, even though we were all praying for complete healing, we saw and felt God Himself whispering, guiding, nudging each of us to pray for specific healing.

While laying my hands on Brett, I felt the need to move my hands to his chest. I quietly touched his tiny chest, waiting... was it his heart? His lungs? Then a picture, almost clinical in detail, emerged of this little boys lungs, clogged and full, hurting, full of bumps and bruises. Feeling a gentle nudge, I simply prayed that God remove whatever was plaguing this boy's lungs, whatever was keeping him from breathing. I could almost pictures God pouring out His power over the boy's lungs and chest, making the lungs fresh and clean and smooth and healthy. The more I realized that God was directing my petitions, the harder I prayed. My prayers moved from his head to his toe, but I kept coming back to his little chest. Not at my direction, but at the Holy Spirit's insistence that I was praying only for Brett's lungs.

I only recently met this amazing young family, so I didn't realize until I asked Brett's momma whether he had lung issues, but this little boy has had so many lung infections and bouts of pneumonia that his lungs are full of scar tissue. The doctor told them that little Brett just can't afford to get pneumonia one more time. How merciful and loving for God to allow us to know why He directed my prayer that direction... we don't always know why we're praying for specific things, so the fact that He let me know why is beautiful.

Thank God that He sends the Spirit to us to direct our prayers. That, in itself, is an amazing miracle! The next person to pray for Brett has already directed their prayers at one specific area on his body, as well... God's plan in action is amazing! I can't wait to see what else our Father has in store for this beautiful little boy.

Christina

Faith

2009-01-24T11:29:00.003-06:00

God spoke to me today while I was praying for a little boy with Cerebral palsy. and Epilepsy. He told me to focus on his hands. I also prayed for his lungs and legs and feet. God also told me that this little boy has a big purpose in this world. God has a plan for all of our lives. We just need to follow Him and have faith in what he does and what he can do. God can heal this little boy, I have faith that he can. It maybe a slow process but it will happen. Through God all things are possible. In the bible it constantly talks about the miracles Jesus performed.. making a blind man see.. a lame man walk. Well if we had as much faith as the people back in that time, we would be seeing miracles like that. We just need to have faith it can happen through Christ.

Britany

UPDATE

2009-01-24T10:48:00.002-06:00

Well SO far Bret is trying to SIT UP! he is speaking more clearly, and has even said a sentence! "no more barney" He was playing with his barney toy at the time.
He is moving his arms more freely and more accurately.
.... I've come expecting, AND GOD HAS SHOWN UP! Thank you Jesus! i pray for more of your spirit and healing touch!
~MOM~

Bret's Day Of Healing A Gift From YHWH!!!

2009-01-24T10:17:00.002-06:00

Father, in the name of Jesus, we claim all of Bret's body, mind soul and spirit for you Father, and for you Jesus. All evil, weather it is spiritual, demonic, or Satan himself MUST GIVE MY SON, BRET, BACK TO THE LORD IN THE NAME OF JESUS! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO OPPRESS HIM. HE IS NOT MARKED FOR YOU. HE IS A CHILD OF GOD, AND IN THE NAME OF JESUS, YOU HAVE TO GIVE HIM BACK IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST, IN THE NAME OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, AND IN THE NAME OF YHWH JEHOVAH. FATHER I PRAY THAT ANY FAMILY OR GENERATIONAL CURSES ARE BROKEN AND GONE. FATHER I PRAY THAT ANY FORM OF CURSES NO MATTER THE ORIGIN IS BROKEN AND GONE IN THE NAME OF JESUS. ANY UNCLEAN SPIRITS OR DEMONS ARE BOUND AND GAG. THEY CAN NOT SPEAK TO BRET OR ANY ONE PRAYING FOR BRET. THEY CAN NOT TOUCH HIM OR ANY ONE ALLOWING GOD TO WORK THROUGH THEM FOR BRET. FATHER, JESUS, SPIRIT, HE IS YOURS. YOURS FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER!!! I PRAY ALL OF THIS IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST, IN THE NAME OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, AND THE NAME YHWH JEHOVAH!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU FATHER. THANK YOU JESUS. THANK YOU HOLY SPIRIT. ONLY YOU THREE ARE WORTHY TO DO THE WORK OF GOD AND RECEIVE HIS GLORY. THANK YOU FATHER FOR SENDING YOUR SON, JESUS, AND THANK YOU JESUS FOR COMING TO THIS WICKED EVIL WORLD , AND FOR THE PAIN FROM THE BEATINGS, THE SEPARATION YOU HAD FROM OUR FATHER, AND FOR DIEING A PAINFUL, SLOW, HORRIBLE DEATH SO MY SINS CAN BE FORGIVEN, AND THROUGH YOU I CAN BE MADE WORTHY FOR GOD TO WORK THROUGH ME, AND RECEIVE HIS GLORY. THANK YOU BOTH FOR SENDING THE HOLY SPIRIT SO MORE OF YOUR POWER AND LOVE IS SEEN ON THIS WICKED PLANET. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bret's Daddy
Robert Lies AKA BoB

Today i'm believing for a miracle!

2009-01-24T08:48:00.003-06:00

Dear Lord I come to you today with hope and thanksgiving in my heart!
I come to you boldly yet humbly, with questions in my heart of why and how. These questions You've never answered yet I still come to ask, but Today I'm believing for a miracle!
Lord you have shown me the ways of your love and your healing touch, so today I'm believing it for my son as well! Father TODAY I'M BELIEVING FOR A MIRACLE! You've stretched my faith so far and wide, and kept your wonders hidden, so I have to search, and today I'm searching! today I'm seeking! TODAY I'm believing for a MIRACLE!
Thank you Father for your wondrous, amazing, love! Thank you also for the people you have placed in my life! I feel so blessed to call them my friends and teachers!
I love you Lord and i praise you! You are SO good!
I pray all these things in Jesus Holy name! AMEN!

Thanks to everyone who is praying for my son today! I know that God will move in this house today! I really hope these posts will move you today!
The sentence that has been coming to me over and over the last 2 days is, come expecting, and today I come expecting! We are called to walk by faith, not sight, and today I'm walking by faith!

Jessica "the mom"

Healing Prayer

2009-01-23T07:32:00.004-06:00

Praise be to the Lord God on High.

Tomorrow, Saturday, my small group, will be soaking a child in healing prayer.

He is five years old and is tormented with Cerebral Palsy's.

We will begin prayer at 8:30 in the morning and continue prayer till 9:30 Saturday night. As a group we go into prayer expecting the healing power of our God to fall down upon this child and make his body whole.

There is no room for doubt nor restraint of faith. We will walk boldly and with confidence that our God hears our cries and know that He will answer.

Through out the day I will have members of my small group post on this blog their thoughts and prayers.

It will be a supernatural experience.

Found

2009-01-19T07:33:00.002-06:00

The young girl below has been found.

She was with a group of satanist. Needless to say, she needs your prayers.

My heart breaks for the confusion and emotional pain that she is in.

The world is in a steady decline and we as Christians need to lift up and pray for our youth.

Missing

2008-12-19T10:56:00.001-06:00

If you have seen this girl, especially those of you in Wichita, let me know. She may be in danger.

Repost: Victory

2008-12-05T07:34:00.002-06:00

I was asked by Bluebirdy, whatever happened with the demonic spirit in my house. This is a repost of that situation. Just for you Bluebirdy. You are, soooo, in my prayers.

I have not written a lot lately because of a situation in my life. I wrote a bit about it in a previous post, but will now write of the whole thing.My home was inhabited by a spirit. Since, I see into the spirit realm this would not seem to be much of a problem, except that it would not leave. We tried all we knew to do. My husband and I prayed together for it to leave twice, a friend and myself prayed, I fasted and prayed, but to no avail.I could not understand why it would not bow at the knee of Jesus. I pressed in to God and received prayers from many. There was lots of advise and warnings, but nothing would help. I have removed many a demon from other peoples homes by the grace of God. But, my own home was quite the mess.After a while, our visitor, started to feel like one of us. We always wanted it to leave, but we became use to it and were no longer startled nor uncomfortable with it around.It told me its name. "Bebet". God had once shared with me that you can power over some by knowing its name. It stayed on the second floor and if someone came to the house it would come down to see who was here and then go back up stairs. It would, at times, get on top of me. When this happened it felt like a weight was on me. I would then tell it to get off of me by Jesus name and it would get off. But, it would not leave my home.Finally, a friend called and said that she thought the folks on my prophetic team should come over and pray this thing out. So, we set the date and last Saturday we prayed.After one,on the team, showed up early and we sat on my porch, this spirit came out and began to torment me. About every two minutes it would get on me. I could feel it trying to get inside of me. The feeling was unnerving but, I stood my ground.We worshiped before we started. While worshiping it visited us. Three on the prophetic team are Christian sensitives, including me. We would get dizzy when it was in the room. At one point, I realized that all three of us were walking backwards at the same time. It was pushing us back. Again we stood our ground.When we went upstairs we all prayed. There was eight of us walking from room to room. We heard it cry "help". One heard it moan and scream. For myself the battle that was going on inside of my head intensified. It was speaking to me and trying to gain control through me. I fought hard. To near exhaustion.Finally, we began to shout in prayer. To contend with the heavenlies. We cursed this thing, we praise God, we read loudly from the Bible. We stomped our feet, we cried to the Lord, and finally we won.While praying in the spirit and shouting to the Lord, those that had gone to the lower floor said that the lights were flickering and things were swaying. They were praying on the lower floor as hard as we were on the second.Praise God. Praise God. This thing is gone. Gone!!!My house has been swept clean and everything is right again. What did I learn? I learned that "This kind come out through prayer and fasting. That some times the resolution of such things is in God's plan. He may just be teaching you something. What did he teach me?He taught me that in this age, when evil is being release onto the land, that standing firm will be harder than ever. That we have never had to contend we such evil power as we will now. That demons talk common since and God in not necessarily in common since. That the victory is always God's but we do and can get in the way of victory. That if we are not prepared for battle and in this age that is upon us, we need to always be prepared, that the fight we be ongoing and our spiritual defense will be broke down.I have learned how badly we need our brothers and sisters in Christ. That through that loving family and their righteous anger love conquers all. As families should be, they will not settle for one of their own being tormented by anything.So, all in all, I have learned how to "Fight the good fight". We, as Christians, need to see the world for what it is. It is not our home and as a foreigner in a foreign land we are not accepted. Not accepted by the world nor the evil of the spirit realm. In this place of prejudiced we have to be close to the one who gives us strength, who gives us courage and who gives us love. We can not go into battle without Him. We can not battle the forces around us without the light of God not His weapons. We need, above how, to prepareThis is not a time to be lazy not compliant. This is a time to prepare.Ephesians 6:12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.With this in mind we should prepare for the coming and existing battle. Because the enemy is not dumb, he attacks with familiarity, He knows you and finds ways to attack that are personal and can be emotional. He is creative and clever in battle and without God there is no way that you will be prepared. So, prepare. Press into God and put on your weapons of warfare and never take them off. You, my friend, walk in victory, but only if you prepare.Romans 8:36-39"For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Blog Award

2008-11-24T06:24:00.003-06:00

Channel of Healing had given my blog an award. I am very grateful and humbled. Thank you Channel of Healing. I am passing these awards on to:

Kansas Exorcist Society A Homesteading Neophyte Daily Spirit

Dutiful Alarm

2008-11-10T06:42:00.004-06:00

I had a wonderful weekend. I went to a retreat for women to break their soul and spirit ties. We went to a Catholic Center for a day and a half. The center was incredible. But, the greatest things about it was a room that was build, just for one reason. To find God.

This room had a restriction. No talking. I went to check it out and as soon as I opened the door, I experienced God. Some of the women found the experience so strong that they had trouble standing under the power. I decided that I would come back to the room when no one else was around.

I woke in the morning talking to God. I was discussing with Him the fact that I always have words for others and would like a word for myself this morning. I had been struggling with the usual doubt's about my own walk and needed encouragement. So, I set off for the quiet room.

It was six in the morning and yet there was a women, already, in the room. I found my way to a seat and waited on the Lord to speak to me. The silence was awesome, but I needed a word. I tried to empty my mind, but kept telling God.."I'm here".

Finally, I heard a word. "Dutiful". I was a bit surprised. "Is that a word?" I asked. I kept pondering on this when I heard another word. "Alarm". Ok. I thought. I am a dutiful alarm. What those that mean, I wondered.

Excited that I had heard from God for myself. I left the quiet room after praising God. I found some of the women up. I asked a teacher..."Is there such a word as dutiful". She said it was an old word, but, yes it is a word. I started looking for a dictionary. Finally, one was found.

Dutiful a derivative of Duty.

Duty- an action or task required by a person's position.

Dutiful- performing the duties expected or required of one

So, I am one who does what is required. Then I looked up Alarm.

Alarm- any sound, outcry, or information intended to warn of approaching danger.

There it is. I am a person of God, whom sounds the alarm of danger because it is required of me, by my God.

I was so excited. God had met me and blessed me. I am a dutiful alarm. It was a beautiful and fulfilling weekend. Praise be to the Living God.

Prophetic Warning

2008-11-05T06:38:00.004-06:00

You will find, below, two different messages from to different prophets. The firsst "Laurie" is a friend of mine and she explains why she sent this warning to me and for the same reason, I am posting it for you, my dear reader, to read.

God Bless

I do not know anything about Steve Foss or his ministry (except for taking a quick look at his website). However, I found this word that was forwarded to me today worth sharing. I wish it had been released through proper channels in 2006 or at least early enough to be circulated more widely. However, it was not the only such warning given to us. We stand without excuse – but now with a very large task ahead of us.

Much of his exhortation centers around the election itself. That is now history. I share this to share the warnings it contains to allow us to begin informed intercession NOW to avert as much of this as possible. As Bishop Hamon teaches, we can either fight the war in the spirit or in the natural. The degree to which we win it in the spirit, we do not have to suffer the consequences in the natural. We have lost the battle over the election. Let us begin IMMEDIATELY to war against the potential consequences to our freedoms.

I will add an admonition that was shared with me this past Saturday evening during a conversation with a prophet to whom I relate. We must not this time make the mistake we (the people of God) made with President Clinton. We MUST pray for our President.

Laurie

A Prophetic Warning from Pastor Steve Foss Sat, 25 Oct 2008 I am writing to you today an urgent message concerning the coming American election. God has released me to share with you a powerful prophecy He gave me eight years ago. I have shared this prophecy in a number of public meetings, but I have never published it for all our friends and partners.

In January of 2000 God gave me an incredible insight into what was about to happen in the coming elections in America over the next decade.

I am not using this e-mail to tell you, who are citizens of America , who to vote for. However, you need to hear what the Holy Spirit is saying. Never in my 22 years of ministry have I seen such a spirit of delusion released upon our country.

In January of 2000, while the Republican nomination for president was far from being decided, God spoke to me that George W. Bush would be the president of the United States . He told me it would be the hardest fought election in American history. I'm sure we can all remember the incredible battle that took place in Florida . He told me that President Bush would be elected to two terms. He told me that during Bush's term there would be a season of unprecedented economic prosperity.

Now despite what the media has said, the economic wealth created during the last eight years was unprecedented. I know the media and one of the political parties has been trying to paint the last eight years as the worst economic time in American history, but it is absolutely untrue. If you look at the wealth created, there were more millionaires created in the last eight years than any time in history. Multitudes of people were able to sell real estate before the housing market collapse, and received incredible transfers of wealth. I could spend hours showing documentation of the wealth created, but suffice it to say, the evidence is there.

God then said to me, "At the end of President Bush's second term there would be an economic collapse." As everyone in the world knows, we have just faced the greatest economic threat since 1929 and the Great Depression. I will speak a little more about the present economic situation a little later in this message.

Every detail that God gave me has come to pass exactly as He said. Now there is one more important thing that God spoke to me. This is the purpose and the reason I am writing this e-mail today. God spoke to me that after George W. Bush, America would elect its most ungodly president ever. I'm going to say that again. God spoke to me that after George W. Bush, America would elect its most ungodly president ever.

As of the writing of this e-mail we are now less than two weeks away from voting for our next president. At this time the polls are strongly showing that the Democratic nominee for president will easily win the White House.

Now in 2006 I began to ask the Lord, "Is that guaranteed to happen in 2008?" He spoke to me very clearly and gave me the key words to what I believe holds this election in the balance right now. He gave me these key words that can forever change what is about to happen in America .

He said, "It depends on the Christians."

I am not going to endorse a candidate, nor am I telling anyone who to vote for. I am simply sharing what God has shown me.

I had a vision earlier this year. I saw Barack Obama in this vision. He was speaking to a large crowd and being broadcast on television. He was speaking incredible words of unity, peace, and bringing all sides together; the words were elegant, the words were comforting, and the words were inspiring.

But while he was speaking I saw all a powerful spirit of violence coming out of his spirit feeding into the spirits of those that were hearing him. That spirit of violence was directed at anybody who opposed what he was saying. Those who heard his words and received it had the spirit of violence being implanted inside of them.

It was a rage like I have not seen before. It was the rage that would be unleashed against those who oppose and stand in the way of Barack Obama's agenda. We are already seeing the beginnings of this spirit manifested here in America . The vicious attacks against Sarah Palin have been unlike anything we have ever seen before. The sheer hate for this woman from people who knew nothing about her, and who claim to stand up and protect the little people, and women, has been shocking.

We now see it with Joe the plumber. These people who are under the influence of this demon spirit of rage desire to completely destroy this man because he dared to question Barack Obama. In fact it wasn't just the question; it was because Barack Obama revealed his true agenda that Joe the plumber became a threat. So the supporters of Barack Obama who had been fed and affected by the spirit of violence went into full swing to destroy a fellow citizen; the very kind of person that Barack Obama has been speaking about in his eloquent speeches, saying how he is the only candidate fighting for them.

I want to put this deep in your spirit. I am speaking as a prophet. The words I'm about to tell you are "thus saith the Lord". If Barack Obama is elected, the attacks against free speech, against those who believe differently than he does, and the systematic use of the government and laws to silence the voice of fundamental Christians will be unlike anything ever seen in this nation before.

I have talked to many Christians, including pastors, not only here in the United States but around the world, who strongly support Barack Obama. Many of them are angry with the Republicans, and understandably so. Others are inspired by the thought of electing America 's first African American president, while others believe Barack Obama to be a Christian who is very concerned with the poor and needy. I am not going to address any of the many concerns about Barack Obama and his form of Christianity. I am only speaking the words of thus saith the Lord, and you have to decide what you're going to do with it.

But I want to remind you, every word God has spoken to me over the last eight years and every word which I have prophesied about the American government and the elections has come to pass.

God does not give this prophecy to scare us, but to prepare us.

God said that the 2008 election is in the hands of the Christians. Just like when God spoke to Jonah about the judgment coming to Nineveh , when the Ninevites repented God withheld judgment; the same can happen in this election. Even though God spoke that America would elect its most ungodly president, He has given us the ability to stay this judgment.

Now you may be asking, "Are you saying that Barack Obama, if elected, would be America 's most ungodly president ever?" Yes! Now I'm not telling you who to vote for. Some people want an ungodly president. That's their choice. I have watched throughout the world, Christians support political leaders who are blatantly ungodly. So again, this is the people's choice.

I believe if the Christians will pray, repent, and hear the voice of God, a miracle can happen on Election Day. This nation lies in the hands of the Christians. Will we humble ourselves before God and pray for His kingdom to come and His will to be done? Or will we allow our emotions, our feelings, our angers, our greed, our race, the opinions of the media, our fears, to dictate to us and affect who we vote for? If you allow these things to affect you, whether you vote for Republican or Democrat, you are not being led by the Spirit.

We must spend time in deep intercessory prayer and cry out for God's mercy upon America . For all our friends who are not in the United States , if Christianity comes under the assaults that it would under a government controlled by Barack Obama and the Liberal Democrats, it will have horrible negative effects on the Gospel throughout the world.

All truth is parallel. People say when America catches a cold, the world suffers a flu. This present financial crisis is proof of that. When America is moral and bows its knee to God, it has incredible positive spiritual impact around the world. However, we have seen over the last several decades, when America becomes more immoral that too affects the world. We need all the Christians around the world to pray for revival to come to America , and for God to have mercy and spare us from this judgment.

Finally, a brief word about the financial crisis. This is not the end time financial crisis. It is very serious, and it is shaking the foundations of the world's economic system. But we will come out of this, and there will be a time again of incredible wealth creation. However, the cracks in the financial system will not be healed. The door has been opened and the way is being made for a one world government system to overtake the world's economics. The world will falsely look at this situation and say that when the governments individually, and with some unified coordination, jumped in to rescue the world, that it prevented a worldwide depression. In the future, when the true end time financial collapse takes place, it will be very easy for the nations of the world and the peoples of those nations to allow a new worldwide governing body to come to the rescue. Understand that everything that is happening has a significant spiritual purpose.

So don't panic by what you see happening today, but take this as a spiritual warning from God. Prepare yourself. Get out of debt. Hear the voice of the Holy Spirit in regards to how you handle money. Let God position you to handle the future complete economic collapse and the overtaking of the world's economic system. Please pray for America . May God have mercy on us all. Your friend, Steve Foss

Busy Spirits

2008-11-04T06:45:00.004-06:00

I got a call the other day that caused me to take another hard look at myself and my brothers and sisters in Christ. The caller was a member of my prophetic team. Her story and question went as followers.

"Every other Thursday, I work at the church getting food ready to give out. Lately, while I am working I see things moving out of the corner of my eyes. So, I made a conscious effort to stop and see what it was. I am seeing spirits. Not just one, but many. They are so busy. Running about and in a hurry. What is going on....why are they so busy?"

My heart became heavy with the confirmation of what I already knew, but had hoped was a mistake on my part.

"They are preparing of the nearness of the end of age" I responded to her.

We have a sense that time is short, but unlike the spirit realm we are to dull spiritually to prepare. The spirits know the urgency and the seriousness of what is to come.

Revelation 12:12
Therefore rejoice, ye heavens, and ye that dwell in them. Woe to the inhabiters of the earth and of the sea! for the devil is come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time.

My fear of the Lord grows. I look to Him in fear and trembling knowing the age of evil is upon us and that I am not, nor perhaps will I ever be ready enough for this time. My spiritual strength lacks. But, my hope is there.

I have to make a determined effort to grow in spiritual endurance and power. To see God in everything and to seek truth. I ask God daily for clarity in this moment and know that He will answer me. Praise be to the Most High and peace to its inhabitants.

Great Post

2008-11-01T16:00:00.003-05:00

An unbelievably blessed post written by Saul over at Kansas Exorcists Society. Click here.

HEART ATTACK!!!!!

2008-10-31T17:14:00.005-05:00

So...I am radio active. Cool!!!

Yesterday, I was sitting in my living room, when I suddenly started to have some pain. My jaw began to hurt. Then the pain moved into my neck and my chest became tight. The pain in my neck and jaw was quite painful. I suspected that I was having a heart attack. My son has been a first responder and he thought I was having a heart attack. So, I went to the hospital where they thought I might be having a heart attack.

Stayed over night. It is a terrible thing to be a Christian sensitive and to be in the hospital. I was woke up every hour by a different spirit in my room. They would wake me up, I would see them, look at the clock and complain. Not happy that my sleep was being interupted.

In the morning I got into this long line a wheel chairs to take a stress test, where they injected a raio active compond. My husband says I will glow tonight for Halloween. Anyways, the outcome is that there is no damage to my heart and it does not look like I had a heart attack.

The theory is that I blew a blood clot. Scary theory, but I am alright now. When this event was happening to me, I talked to God. I said to Him, "I really do not think that my time is up here. It seems that You have much more for me to do. So, I am going to relax and get through this thing>"

I was right and God is good. Still more for me to do. I am, however, sore from multiple medical procedures and weary from lack of sleep. I do not always understand the presence of spirits. But, I hope that I move on after my death and do not linger in some medical facility.

Watching God Move

2008-10-30T07:11:00.004-05:00

God is so good!!! So gracious!!!

A few weeks back, with an inner healing, I saw another of God's miracles. We met with a young woman whom had many issues from her past and wanted freedom. The healing was going on well when I suddenLy realized that she had some mental illness.

God spoke to me, so I asked the question. "Do you ever lose time." One of the members on my team spoke up and said "Yes she does." An example was that one night her husband found her outside, in the middle of the night, getting in her car to go somewhere. She did not remember nor know where she was going. She shared with me that she loses time often.

She had, also, shared earlier in the healing, that she had an invisible playmate when she was young called "Curt". I sat back in my chair and had a conversation with God. Here I am trained in the natural to deal with Dissociative Disorder or Multiple personality disorder and yet God was taking me to a spiritual healing. My natural training kicked in, for a moment. But, then my understanding of whom God is broke through the natural and I said to myself "God can take care of this." So, I began to pray through and watch God bring this woman back together.

Now, I had to let go of all the natural training that I have had and just let God be God. I asked to speak to "Curt" just in case "Curt" was a personality instead of an invisible playmate. I, also, by this time had come to the belief that we were looking at demons not alternate personalties.

Sure enough, her breathing changed, her attitude and her body posture. Next thing I knew, she lunged forward in her chair and came within inches of my face. It startled me, but I knew not to let this show nor to back down myself. This thing became threatening. So, I told it to be quite and sit back. There was a reluctance to sit back, but with the name of Jesus being spoke, she sat back.

Off and on there was threatening jesters. Several lunges at me and snide remarks. Trying to be tough and disarming. We remained in prayer and sought the Lord in every word that came out of my mouth.

There were tow demons. To boys. Both were rather mean and did not want to leave. For the woman sitting in front of me, she was floating in an out of reality. She would be there one moment then the next gone. These demons spoke often, so I bound them up so that they would not try to control the situation nor influence that woman either.

Deliverance came after a short while. It was beautiful to see and to know that God's truth are always founded in His hand. He reached down to this woman and set her free. She had been drawn several time to kill herself and had cut her arms to destroy the body. The new woman I met in that moment of deliverance was truly a woman of light.

She continues to walk free. She is gifted in the supernatural and I am sure that this is why, this assignment to destroy, had been put on her. She is young and has a wonderful life, with Christ, ahead of her. Freedom.....freedom...God is so true to His promises. Man would say that someone suffering in this way has very little hope of a stable and joyful life. But, God says, "Be healed by my name" and with that all things are possible.

Introducing My Son

2008-10-28T06:44:00.004-05:00

I have been very busy with Inner Healings and deliverances. So, busy that I am schedualed to work nearly every night. My oldest son has come to stay with us while he is in between jobs and has found his giftings.

The Lord has been very good to him and he has come along side of me to help with my ministry. It is a delight to have him on board. His growth in Christ is amazing.

So, let me introduce you to him. He has started a new blog that I will help co-write, as will several others on my team. Here is a link to his blog Kansas Exorcists Society.

The Slumbering Chruch

2008-10-27T06:36:00.005-05:00

I was walking into church the other day when I was stopped by one of the worship leaders. He wanted to tell me of a dream he had. In the dream he was leading worship but, fell asleep. When he woke up, in the dream, and looked out into the congregation, they were now asleep. He said that, at this point in the dream, I got up and walked to the front of the church and said, "the church will no longer slumber". He wanted to know if I knew what this dream meant.

I got very excited about his dream. For a year now, God has been talking to me about the slumbering church. This made my friend excited as well.

As the church slumbers the world seep in. We become tolerant to the things that are sins to our God. We become lazy in our Bible study, our prayer life and our everyday walk with the Lord. We quit walking in the gifts of God and the authority of the Father.

I look to myself in this slumber and see that I too, have fallen prey to this spirit of slumber. I am very busy with ministry, but take little time for a quiet moment with God.

With a closer look at myself, I ask myself "do I walk in the fruit of the Spirit or do I ignore the fruit."

Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

I began to look at what the opposite of these fruits would be and sure enough, especially in my thought life, I found that I have a long to go.

Love= The opposite of love is to detest or dislike.
Joy= The opposite of joy is sadness, sorrow, unhappiness.
Peace= The opposite of peace is, disharmony, disagreement, war, fighting.
Patience= The opposite of Patience is agitation, frustration, intolerance
Kindness= The opposite of kindness is cruelty, harshness, meanness.
Goodness= The opposite of goodness is evil, indecency, meanness, wickedness.
Faithfulness= The opposite of faithfulness is dishonesty, falseness, inconstancy.
Gentleness= The opposite of gentleness is harsh, cruel, violent, sudden, wild, unruly
Self-control= The opposite of self-control is agitation, rashness.

It tore at my spirit when I realized how far from the fruits I truly have been. So, then I must look at the ways to overcome this slumber and begin to walk into the righteousness of God.

2 Corinthians 10:5
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Begin anew, to catch every thought and bring it into alignment with the Word of God. To praise Him all day and meditate on His promises.

Hebrews 4:12

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

To put on the armor of God and to never take it off.

Ephesians 6:10-18
Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Wake up Church!!! Do you not see that the time in nigh for the Lords return. Wake up!!!!

2008-10-13T05:36:00.004-05:00

An Ordained Time

I never know what will happen next in my walk with God. It is certainly never boring and I have come to expect, the unexpected.

I was in a class the other day that helps find your purpose in life. I assist in teaching this class and love to be there to see the changes in women's lives. During class it was obvious that one women at a major headache. So, it was decided that after class, we were about to close, that we would lay hands on her and pray healing.

Myself and another leader prayed for her and watched God work. Her headache was relieved and she felt blessed. The young woman that was praying with me, asked me to pray over her mother that was in the class. Now, her mother is one that I felt I could read pretty well.

In the class I could see that she was over wrought and very stressed. That she could not find relief from the everyday stress that she herself had put on to herself and there, sitting in that stress was not finding God.

I told her what I saw and she began to cry. But, when I touched her to pray, she suddenly manifested an oppressing spirit. I was surprised. I did not see that one coming. Her face began to contort and her body to rock. She was moaning and crying. So, I began to pray against this thing of evil that was oppressing her.

She grabbed my knee and squeezed. Then she would slapped my knee, then squeeze again. It was quite painful, so I started relaxing my knee, so that my concentration was were it needed to be. I prayed for what seemed like a very long time.

She suddenly said, "I see light. A little bit of light". This gave me a handle on where we were. So, I prayed against darkness and prayed that the light of the Lord fall upon her.

She began to speak in tongues. Not sure if she ever had tongues before this. I have had people pray in what seems like tongues, but then recognized it to not be a tongue from God. So, I listened to her and realized that she was speaking a tongue from God.

She wailed. Then just as fast as this began, it stopped. She sat back and took a deep breath. "wow". "Where did that come from?, she asked.

I told her, that this was her ordained time from God, to be set free. No longer was she to be oppressed by evil. She is free.

You never know when God is going to put you to work. Just like we must always be ready for the fight in the heavenlies, we muse also be ready to be called by God to obedience. There I was minding my own business and suddenly God appears and the world changes.

Thank You God.

Changing Lives

2008-10-01T07:32:00.004-05:00

This last weekend, I went to a woman's breakfast at my church. A woman from the church spoke on self image and how God made you. Her story was awesome. While she spoke many were touch and the grief. anger and resentment came up in many.

There was a plan in place for me to get up while she was praying and take over. It was remarkable what God did.

I told them to keep their eyes closed in contemplation. Then I took them through an inner healing. A short inner healing that just focused on whatever memory was brought up for them during the time this woman had spoken.

While I spoke more women began to break down with pain from life. God was moving and the healing began. I shared with them the true essence of who they are "fearfully and wonderfully made". While they were focused on the image of the past, I had them forgive and repent. Then they broke the soul and spirit tie to that person, place or thing and give back and take back anything that was stolen from them or that they had left behind.

God healed many and brought new awareness to others of healing that needs to be done. Before I got up I had asked God to speak for me because I did not have any idea how to go about an inner healing on a crowd. I had thought about it for weeks but could never come up with anything that felt right. As I spoke, I heard stuttering and a lot of pauses. I thought, "this is no good. It will not touch anyone."

I suppose I did not trust the Lord, because it did not seem to matter what was coming out of my mouth, God was doing a work. Just as I had ask from Him, He was speaking for me and what I heard coming out of my mouth and what the women heard coming out of my mouth were two different things.

He used me to heal the pain of their lives. He spoke through me and reached each one of them individually. They could feel His presence and felt that He was just speaking to them alone. They are right. Last Saturday was the day the Lord chose for them to be healed. Their victory day.

It was beautiful. God orchestrates everything. Even in a room, in a church, in Wichita.... God changed lives.

Victory

2008-09-30T07:29:00.003-05:00

I have not written a lot lately because of a situation in my life. I wrote a bit about it in a previous post, but will now write of the whole thing.

My home was inhabited by a spirit. Since, I see into the spirit realm this would not seem to be much of a problem, except that it would not leave. We tried all we knew to do. My husband and I prayed together for it to leave twice, a friend and myself prayed, I fasted and prayed, but to no avail.

I could not understand why it would not bow at the knee of Jesus.

I pressed in to God and received prayers from many. There was lots of advise and warnings, but nothing would help. I have removed many a demon from other peoples homes by the grace of God. But, my own home was quite the mess.

After a while, our visitor, started to feel like one of us. We always wanted it to leave, but we became use to it and were no longer startled nor uncomfortable with it around.

It told me its name. "Bebet". God had once shared with me that you can power over some by knowing its name. It stayed on the second floor and if someone came to the house it would come down to see who was here and then go back up stairs. It would, at times, get on top of me. When this happened it felt like a weight was on me. I would then tell it to get off of me by Jesus name and it would get off. But, it would not leave my home.

Finally, a friend called and said that she thought the folks on my prophetic team should come over and pray this thing out. So, we set the date and last Saturday we prayed.

After one,on the team, showed up early and we sat on my porch, this spirit came out and began to torment me. About every two minutes it would get on me. I could feel it trying to get inside of me. The feeling was unnerving but, I stood my ground.

We worshiped before we started. While worshiping it visited us. Three on the prophetic team are Christian sensitives, including me. We would get dizzy when it was in the room. At one point, I realized that all three of us were walking backwards at the same time. It was pushing us back. Again we stood our ground.

When we went upstairs we all prayed. There was eight of us walking from room to room. We heard it cry "help". One heard it moan and scream. For myself the battle that was going on inside of my head intensified. It was speaking to me and trying to gain control through me. I fought hard. To near exhaustion.

Finally, we began to shout in prayer. To contend with the heavenlies. We cursed this thing, we praise God, we read loudly from the Bible. We stomped our feet, we cried to the Lord, and finally we won.

While praying in the spirit and shouting to the Lord, those that had gone to the lower floor said that the lights were flickering and things were swaying. They were praying on the lower floor as hard as we were on the second.

Praise God. Praise God. This thing is gone. Gone!!!

My house has been swept clean and everything is right again. What did I learn? I learned that "This kind come out through prayer and fasting. That some times the resolution of such things is in God's plan. He may just be teaching you something. What did he teach me?

He taught me that in this age, when evil is being release onto the land, that standing firm will be harder than ever. That we have never had to contend we such evil power as we will now. That demons talk common since and God in not necessarily in common since. That the victory is always God's but we do and can get in the way of victory. That if we are not prepared for battle and in this age that is upon us, we need to always be prepared, that the fight we be ongoing and our spiritual defense will be broke down.

I have learned how badly we need our brothers and sisters in Christ. That through that loving family and their righteous anger love conquers all. As families should be, they will not settle for one of their own being tormented by anything.

So, all in all, I have learned how to "Fight the good fight". We, as Christians, need to see the world for what it is. It is not our home and as a foreigner in a foreign land we are not accepted. Not accepted by the world nor the evil of the spirit realm. In this place of prejudiced we have to be close to the one who gives us strength, who gives us courage and who gives us love. We can not go into battle without Him. We can not battle the forces around us without the light of God not His weapons. We need, above how, to prepare

This is not a time to be lazy not compliant. This is a time to prepare.

Ephesians 6:12

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

With this in mind we should prepare for the coming and existing battle. Because the enemy is not dumb, he attacks with familiarity, He knows you and finds ways to attack that are personal and can be emotional. He is creative and clever in battle and without God there is no way that you will be prepared. So, prepare. Press into God and put on your weapons of warfare and never take them off. You, my friend, walk in victory, but only if you prepare.

Romans 8:36-39
"For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Question

2008-09-19T06:23:00.002-05:00

If a man commits adulatory in his mind, is it legal grounds for a divorce?

Roller Coaster

2008-09-18T06:56:00.004-05:00

I seem to be on a roller coaster with God. I happen to be sitting in the front seat. The person in the front seat, is the one first surprised by all the dips and turns, and then warns the people in the back by their screams. That would be me. Hanging on for dear life as God and I whip around this life with me surprised and screaming at every turn.

But, most of the time, my warnings go out and reach deaf ears. I am not talking about prophetic warnings just wisdom with life warnings.

For myself. I have ridden that roller coaster for years and there are still curves that surprise me and I will take the curve by being jostled all the way. I just do not learn some of life's lessons. I know that is the definition of insanity. And it is a bit insane to keep looking for different outcomes by going through the same thing the same way.

I have, however, learned that every time I revisit the same old curve, I learn more about myself and ways to keep myself safe. Sometimes we just keep walking into the same old pain because a deep need in us still has not been met. So, without thinking, we hit the same old curve and again the pain of being jostled grows inside of us.

Will I take the curve the same way next time around. Probably, YES. Why? Because, I have still not learned that God will take care of that need. Instead, I just jump into the curve and then after the pain has subsided, then, I remember that God can ease me into that curve and take it, oh... so.... much easier.

I Am Back

2008-09-17T21:36:00.004-05:00

So, much has happened since I last wrote. But, I am going to tell you a simple, but wonderful story.

I have this terrible fear of going to see the dentist. Maybe it stems from going to butcher dentists when I was a child. But, I will do anything to not have to go to the dentist.

Last year I had a tooth start to hurt. I asked God to heal it and it would get better. But, in the last year, I have asked God to heal it several times and it always came back to pain.

I have been in fast for eleven days now. I believe that God honored my fast bythe event I am about to tell you. My tooth began to hurt. I said to God. "If it is not to be healed, can it just fall out, so I will not have to see a dentist." The next day, my tooth suddenly fell out.

I was surprised and thankful. There was no pain nor warning. It just fell out.

If God had healed my tooth, then I would not have had the proof that I have now, of His glory. I'm all grown up, very grown up, and my tooth, painlessly falls out, after I ask go to grant me such a thing. That is an awesome God.

My Lord "Wins"

2008-09-09T06:55:00.005-05:00

I do not know what to write. My life has become very uncertain. So, I lean on the promises of God.

I am learning a lot. God is teaching me about His mysteries. There is much that I need to learn, so I have taken my body into a fast. In my fast, I am expecting more spiritual truths to be unfolded before my eyes.

I watch as the spiritual realm wars for our souls. I watch and see that we, humans give up easily to the threat from the evil one. I see how easily we are deceived and how easily we blame others for our problems.

The supernatural ride that I am on right now, is one that can question your sanity. Questions pop up into ones head and you check your reality with others. Peace comes when one realizes that others are walking in the same insanity that you are and all is well with you reality.

Distorted, as my reality has becomes, I hold on to God while He walks me through this time of revelation. Knowing that "Jesus wins" in the end, I hold onto that victory and look the enemy straight in the eyes. Those eyes do not bring me into fear, just into more questions that I wait for the Lord to answer.

This is not a lesson that I would have signed up for. I only stay in the lesson because of God. It would be easy to just walk away from this and drive it deep into the recesses of my mind. But, I can not walk away from what God has, for me, no matter how uncomfortable it may be.

I have been given a lot of advise. Some with the givers own agenda in mind. Some with my demise from leadership in mind. Some using the same old, same old. Some from the heart. Some advise has been very good and from God. Some advise has been bad.

I wait, holding onto all the advise, but waiting. I fast and prayer waiting for the Lord to give me revelation. He alone holds the key to the door of knowledge. He alone will show me the way to the truth and the light. I wait upon the Lord.

So, my flesh screams to be relieved from this lot, but I can hear my Lord "But not my will, but yours."

Not In My House

2008-09-02T06:59:00.004-05:00

With all my children in one spot, it has been crazy at my house. But, that does not stop the spirit realm from creating chaos.

Things got weird around here even for me.

My oldest boy is staying on the second floor of my house with his new wife. He came down and told me, one day, that the top mattress on his bed had been moved. I did not put much into that, thinking that it had just moved from the two of them moving about while asleep. But, one night his wife went up to sleep and while she was laying on the bed it began to shake and then it move, the top mattress, about a foot off the bed.

She came down stairs, a bit unnerved, to tell us. We all went to see and sure enough it was moved again. So, my husband and I started praying and while praying I saw a spirit in one of the rooms. I prayed that this thing would leave and nothing happened. I would walk around the in the different rooms and could feel this vile spirit going, also, from room to room.

I could not understand why it was there, or why it did not leave. I was getting a bit angry. Calling out to God to make this thing leave, demanding in Jesus name it leave. But, still it stayed. Then the strangest thing, for me, happened. I was standing next to my son and his wife when I heard someone laugh. I said to my son, "did you just laugh?" He said, "No, I was hoping it was you." I looked at his wife and she shook her head "No" to show me she did not laugh. But, we all heard the laugh.

I asked my son to mimic the sound and sure enough we all heard the same thing. Usually, I am the only one who hears these kinds of things. It felt really strange to me. I started asking God questions.

"This sounds like a haunting, Lord." "Is there really such a thing" "Do those shows that look for ghosts, get rid of them and if so how?"

A lot of questions and not a lot of answers. I was not sure what to do. So, I took a break to continue seeking the Lord. After a while, my son joined me. Then suddenly God began to lead me into the direction that I needed to go. I asked my son. "Those people that you were staying with before you moved to Kansas, did someone practice witchcraft?"

He answered with a "yes". Then I asked, "Did that person ever get mad at you?" The answer was "yes". That was were this thing had come from. A spell or curse or whatever you want to call it had been placed on my son. This mad me madder than ever. So, I began to pray and break the curse or assignment in Jesus name.

It has been two days and nothing is happening up stairs. Peace has returned to my house.

I had never thought about demons haunting a place. Moving things, laughing. But, I saw it happen. I can remember when I first became a Christian and I was thumped on the head and had the sensation of a finger running down my back. I was so young in the Lord at the time but knew that something was wrong, but did not understand the spirit realm like I do now.

What happened in the last few days makes me wonder about how many people are being tormented in such a way. In these last days evil is intensifying and more and more people will become tormented by such things. I pray that these people will find the power of the Lord and the leading of the Lord to stop all assignments from the evil one.

My Children

2008-08-29T06:48:00.004-05:00

All of my children are in one place for the first time in years.

I watch the interaction and see how they have changed. Once they were mine, now they are the worlds.

One is making his way back to Christ. The others believe, but are, at this time, choosing to be of the world.

The one returning to God, is an alcoholic. He has suffered a great deal. But, yesterday got married to a very nice girl and today is sober. Being the oldest, he sees what the others have done with their lives, in the physical, and knows he has wasted precious time in his life.

The other, of my children, see that time is short, but the seduction of the world is to much and they continue to walk in the flesh. On one level I understand this, on another I do not.

I, myself, once being an atheist, I see how easy it is to fall under the curse of the world. But, I did not know nor understand the Word of God. They, my children, do know the Word. So, it does baffle me a bit.

This is a time in history when it is not good to ignore the things of God. I asked God the other day, how soon is the coming of our Lord. His response was only "Nigh". Soon. Vague as this answer was, I know that even a "Nigh" is a warning.

So, I pray for my children. I want them to walk towards the light. The three that walk away instead of towards can, at this time, only see the nose on their faces. Their view of the spiritual things of life are blurred and I can only pray that their vision improve.

If only we could give those who are walking that thin line a pair of spiritual glasses.

To Busy

2008-08-27T06:42:00.002-05:00

Life is so busy. It is difficult to find the time to sit and focus on Jesus. So, I fall back on the discipline of catching every thought to the obedience of God.

Staying focused on God in the business of our minds can be a enormous task. It can become frustrating and overwhelming. We begin to tell ourselves that communing with God twenty four hours a day is impossible and then give up. But, I tell you that it is not impossible and in this age, we need to practice finding God in everything.

For myself, there is just no way that, at this time, I can sit down and just wait or meditate on the Lord. So, I have found that I can be with God and know I am with God 24/7.

Through the discipline of catching every thought I have found that I praise God or pray constantly in the back of my head. It is like a second thought, that lies beneath the thoughts throughout the day. These thoughts have become a natural process throughout my day.

I can hear myself praising God while I talk to others or concentrate on a project. This has become a habit, a natural part of my thinking process. It helps me to stay in intimate contact with my Lord. It brings me peace and strength.

I began this discipline by making sure that my thoughts were on the Lord. I would make a conscious effort to only think of God. When I would find my thoughts moving away from God, I would quickly bring them back to God. It took many months of concentrated effort to have this discipline become a part of my everyday life, but the outcome of that effort is incredible.

Generational Gifts

2008-08-25T07:39:00.004-05:00

Are spiritual gifts inherited? I am seeing this in my life and family.

All my sons have seen into the spirit realm. Two have been spoke to by demons and had to deal with them on some level.

My daughter, however, dreams. She claims to not be a believer, but does believe in the signs of the end of days. I suppose this is hard to dispute with all that is going on. The dreams that God gives her are prophetic. They speak of things to come. Most of the times, she does not remember the dream or puts it on the back burner for later examination.

She has, however, over the last few years, had a recurring dream. In the dream, she is on our farm. Her oldest brother is there, I suppose you could say he was guarding the area. A woman arrives on a horse and she is pregnant. My daughter helps her to deliver the child and the woman dies. The dream then skips to the future and my daughter is raising the child. In the dream, my daughter knows the name of the child, which I will say only starts with a M.

This dream comes and goes with my daughter and has concerned her for a while. Then the other night, while I was minding my own business, God suddenly spoke to me about the dream. I was in a vision and saw the face of the woman on the horse. I recognized the face, as someone close to me. I tried to remember my daughters dream, but could not recall it in its entirety. So, I jumped up and called her. I asked questions. In my vision the woman has black hair. My daughter stated that the child had black hair. Then the kicker, the name of the child is the same has the woman in the dream.

This person has just come into our family. I have asked God, if He gave this dream to my daughter so we could pray against this event. I got no clear answer. So, like Jesus, I am praying that if He would, would He take this from our family. But not my will, but His will be done.

"Must I Lord"

2008-08-22T07:32:00.004-05:00

Romans 7:20

Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

This verse came to me while I was doing something that I did not want to do, but God wanted me to do it.

So, the words get turned around a bit, and it is for the spiritual good, but for me it feels bad.

Sometimes, God asks us to do something and it just feels bad. It may hurt someone or cause a rift between people. but in the grand scheme of things, in the spiritual realm, it is for the better good.

When we can not see what God is doing, we just must have blind faith and walk in obedience. To follow God is not always an easy road. By far, it is full of tangles and dangerous turns. But, we need to come to the difficult stance that, "I will only do what I see my Father doing." That can be a difficult stance.

Our flesh cringes at the request from God to step out of our comfort zone and break into anothers comfort zone. We plead with God for another way. "Must I Lord? Can there not be another way?" But, His way is the right way and the only way. So, in our discomfort and with our finite minds, we have to and need to have trust that God has a plan and even if we can not see it, we need to walk out what God is telling us to do.

Maybe, in this life, we will not see the results of what God has asked us to do. Or maybe we will be granted that favor. But, the most important thing is no matter what it is, or no matter how bad it feels, if God is commanding it, we must complete the task.

His ways are mysterious.

Watching God

2008-08-20T06:22:00.004-05:00

It is so awesome to watch God's hand at work.

I read a post this morning by The Light in the Woods, and was reminded of what God had once done for me.

I was living on our farm and would have to drive 60 miles to work everyday. On this day, I got into my car, turned it on and the air bag light was flashing. I decided to ignore it and go on. But, half way down my 1/4 mile drive way, the light started to nag at me. So, I backed up and went into my house and got my car manual.

It took a while for me to find that this light flashing was an indication of any number of problems. None of which meant much. So, I turned my car back on. The flashing light was no longer flashing.

I drove onto the highway and about half way to work, I came upon a horrible wreck. There were four cars and a semi crashed together. Traffic was backed up and people were killed in the crash. As I sat waiting to get by the crash, I began to pray for those injured when I realized that God had stalled me at home with that flashing light, so I would not be a part of this wreck.

I was grateful and praise and thanked God for His love. He is my protection.

I believe that God is in everything that I do. So, if I become puzzles about something that is going on, I always ask God "What are you doing?" He in His majesty, always answers. Seeing what God is doing and knowing that He is in everything gives me comfort.

God is a mystery, but if you commune with Him always, praise Him constantly and stay in the Word, He will show you those mysteries.

Being Relentless

2008-08-19T06:07:00.003-05:00

Satan seems to be working overtime, as of late.

In the last week, I have had two women flee to my house from their husbands. Another, woman, called for emotional support, as she had just called the police to have her husband picked up for abuse.

All three women and husbands are serious followers of our Lord Jesus Christ. All three events were brought around by drugs and or alcohol. All three are still struggling. One, the wife, is also bound up by drugs.

We can easily see that Satan has a hand in these marriages. We know the story, "Satan is trying to kill me." "Satan is trying to destroy my life." etc. But, sometimes, those quit being the whole truth and instead become an easy excuse for our own choices.

The post I wrote last was a word from God that spoke of "being relentless". I had a dream the other night and in the dream I was chasing God. He was in front of me, running, and I was just behind Him, running. I could not catch Him. I was so close, but could not quite get to Him. But, I was relentless in my pursuit.

Being relentless keeps my eyes on God. I can not look to the left or the right. To drugs or to alcohol. Because if I do take my eyes off of my object of pursuit, I will fall, stumble, lose sight of my God.

I grew tired in my dream. When the fatigue set in, I could have, by choice, stopped or slowed down. Then, my eyes will begin to take in the world that is around me. My pursuit, might, take on a whole new look and track. Feeling fatigued and resting I see what the world has to offer and just might, by choice, take those things to pursue, instead of God. After all, the things of the world are easily gotten, easily seen, easily excused away.

Now, with my eyes off of God, I can easily excuse my new behavior away by saying Satan made me do it. And in some respects this is true, but not entirely. We hold a great deal of responsibility in our fall from grace. We have chosen to quit our pursuit of God. We have chosen to take our eyes off of the Living God and put them on death. We have chosen to disgrace God and lift ourselves on high.

In these end times, we certainly need to be relentless. Satan is working overtime, in that I am sure. But, we are victorious over the things of Satan and the only way we can fall prey to Satan's schemes is by making a choice to turn to him instead of God. We play an important role in the fight for our soul's, it is a role of choice. Satan does not get all the glory for the misstep of God's people.

So, I can either be relentless in my pursuit of God or I can be relentless in my pursuit of drugs, alcohol, sex, crime, food etc. I can either say "no" to the things of this earth, or I can say 'Yes" to God. It is easy to get caught up in the things of this world, but once you do, you need to take responsibility for that and fight your way back to the one who loves you. In your fighting, BE RELENTLESS.

A Word from God

2008-08-15T07:56:00.002-05:00

I got this word from God last Saturday night.

"I can not come, because you, my people, hold yourself in reserve.

Reach deep inside of yourself and find your reservation. Heal from those things that reserve, delay and subdue your worship.

You have not abandonment, because of your reserve. These are the things that keep you from the temple of my heart.

Be relentless in your search for freedom. Invite my hand to crush those things that keep you from the truth and free worship.

BE RELENTLESS

When Love is not Enough

2008-08-11T06:52:00.004-05:00

Sometimes love is not enough. And with that you continue to love, although your heart may become a bit sore, wounded and a bit lost, your love always goes on.

There are forces in this world that can take a person and rip them to the core. As we watch these forces at work, in the ones we love, we try to help and love them. But, love, sometimes, is not enough.

It is like the love of God. He has given the ultimate love, by laying down His life and yet, in some of our lives, that love is not enough. We look at that great love and want more. We stand at the edge of that supreme love and say "give me more. Because, there is something lacking in the way I feel, so it must be you, God. You are just not enough".

When love is not enough, where do we go? When we do not make God the totality of our lives, where do we go? When we come face to face with the flesh and it rises up to take control, where do we run? If not love, then what?

For most, they will run deeper into the flesh. Letting go of those things we know to be right, lovely and true. Love can no longer hold us, because we have not given love complete entry into our souls. So, we become lost in the abyss of darkness. Our self centeredness guiding the way into the strongholds of life. We become of this world instead of not of this world. We start to become entrenched in the things that oppose love and then love is never enough.

"The truth will set you free" until you put yourself above God and say to yourself, "love is not enough". "I will take care of my own needs, I will seek the power in me and overcome, I can lead myself into victory." Love is, certainly, lost in this thinking and with love lost, we become alone. Even in a crowd, we are alone. Because, we have lost our first love and have rejected the love of others.

The definition of love becomes convoluted and benign. There is no power behind a self centered love. A love that casts away others and draws us into the dark recesses of our own minds. This is when love is not enough. Love is not enough when I take my eyes off of the one who created love and put them on the one who demands and abuses love. Ourselves.

Vistor

2008-08-07T06:54:00.004-05:00

I have a visitor in my home. It is a dear friend, whom fell back into the grip of addiction. She will be staying with us for a few days, going through detox and trying to figure out what to do next.

She is devoted to her God. The same God that I worship. She walks in gifts of prophesy and healing. Yet, has fallen into the dark and now is trying to crawl her way back.

When I look at her, I can easily see her pain, guilt and shame, but, there is more I see and more that needs to be taken care of.

We pray, often, together and yesterday she ask me to go with her to the basement so she could wail and wail she did. She had hold of my hands and while praying I had to take bone crushing pain as she squeezed my hands. She prayed hard. Screaming at Satan, weeping to her God and then when I started to pray a demon began to come out.

She spit and gagged a bit while this demon was removed by God. Freedom was at hand and God delivered her.

But, as time went on, I became more and more aware that my house was full of demons. Everywhere I looked I would see the truth. The truth showed up everywhere. Demons to the right of me and demons to the left. I have not called out for them to leave as of yet, because I want to know exactly what God wants from me on this issue.

So, I bind them and gag them, so that they are not bothering myself, family, nor my friend. It is obvious that these things came into my home with my friend and that they are following her, so I need to seek God on what He would have me do. I do not want to just run them off and they lay in wait for my friend to come back out of my house. The Lord would not do that, so I will wait upon the Lord, for His timing, His wisdom and His love.

Meantime, I sit and watch the craziness unfold in the spirit realm and hang onto the fact that for "Me and my house, we serve the Lord". Waiting and watching what God is doing and having the assurance that God will lead me to the right place, at the right time, to deliver my friend from this torment.

Update on health....Pain

Dear Reader

2008-08-05T07:38:00.004-05:00

I know that my posts have become sporadic as of late and it my stay that way for a while I have been ill for quite a while. Monday we found out why.

Since last December, I have just come up with all kinds of complaints. Doctors could not find out what was going on. I get ill whenever I eat. Although I do not lose weight from this because I retain water so bad. Last week we thought I had been bitten by a spider, but turned out not to be so.

Then last Saturday, I had a flare up of Fibromyalgia. I had to go to bed and just wait it out. By, Monday, still sick my husband took me to the doctor. The doctor looked at the spider bite and told us both that I had a staph infection. Looks like I have had it a long time. It has gotten into my lymph nodes and is spreading from lymph node to lymph node, showing up on my skin as a boil.

This needs to be taken care of this week, because my husband is on strike and our insurance only lasts till Friday. So, the doctor is attacking the staph aggressively and I am on multiple medicine's.

To celebrate, still no lupus. I remain free of the disease that God healed me from and yet fall prey to other things.

I looked to the Lord for my assurance of healing and no damage from the staph. I look forward to my healing and to no longer feeling bad. God's timing is wonderful, because one more week and I would have not been able to seek medical help. Although, my husband would have forced me to go, I would not have wanted to because of the loss of insurance. But, God is taking care of me and I will, finally, be back on my feet.

So, my friends, my posts, still may be sporadic for a while. With illness and a husband under foot my schedule fulls under chaos and I just go with the flow. I pray for all my readers and ask for your prayers as i recover.

Freedom

2008-08-01T06:35:00.004-05:00

I am suppose to speak to a group of women at my church in a few weeks. Not knowing exactly what to speak about, I have been in prayer. But, I saw an email that went out to the women leaders of this group that said I would be speaking on being peculiar and doing a inner healing on the entire group of listeners.

So, there you have it. Prayer answered.

I started thinking, how do these two things relate. I sat down and started writing and realized the connection is great.

Most of the Christian people are not peculiar. They appear to be like everyone else. It is very hard, in a crowd, to pick out the Christian from anyone else. Why?

So, here is the focus of my speech. We are not peculiar because we have unresolved issues that lie inside of us that hold us back. These issues have to do with perception. This perception includes how we see our selves and worry about how others will see us.

Fear of man and fear of self. We fear of making a fool of ourselves. Finding the issues inside of ourselves that creates this fear will have to be the next step.

What kind of issues are there that create such fear? To name a few:

I was told to not make a fool out of myself.

As a child, I was hurt, emotionally, every time I tried to express myself.

Told, "what will the neighbors think" when I look different.

Came to believe all the above.

All these words and deeds not only keep us from being peculiar, they also, keep us from pure worship. We stifle the desire to fall to our knees, bow before the Lord or dance with the joy of the Lord.

We are called peculiar seven time in the Bible.

Exodus 19:5
Now therefore, if ye will obey my voice indeed, and keep my covenant, then ye shall be a peculiar treasure unto me above all people: for all the earth is mine:

Deuteronomy 14:2
For thou art an holy people unto the LORD thy God, and the LORD hath chosen thee to be a peculiar people unto himself, above all the nations that are upon the earth.

Deuteronomy 26:18
And the LORD hath avouched thee this day to be his peculiar people, as he hath promised thee, and that thou shouldest keep all his commandments;

Psalm 135:4
For the LORD hath chosen Jacob unto himself, and Israel for his peculiar treasure.

Ecclesiastes 2:8
I gathered me also silver and gold, and the peculiar treasure of kings and of the provinces: I gat me men singers and women singers, and the delights of the sons of men, as musical instruments, and that of all sorts.

Titus 2:14
Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.

1 Peter 2:9
But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light

Even though God calls us peculiar we ignore that call. We concentrate on other things that God has called us and leave this one alone. We, has Christians, need to find a place of freedom inside of ourselves, that brings freedom to be a peculiar people.

Claim You Winnings

2008-07-30T06:57:00.004-05:00

Life is full of winning and losing. It would seem that every aspect of our lives is about one or the other. I suppose I have always seen life as a game because, I have always said "I am not as survivor, I am a victor".

The word survivor has always, seemed to me, to have a negative connotation. It is good to survive....don't get me wrong. But, it is wrong to always see ones self as a survivor instead of changing that thinking, eventually too, I live in victory. If I am continually surviving, I have not conquered my ordeal.

Salvation is a gift from God. Not one to believe, once saved always saved, I see keeping my salvation as being a winner.

Someone whispered to me the other day, in their moment of torment, that they were going to lose their salvation. Life is never simple, but we must pick sides. To either be on the winning side or the losing side. Black or white, right or wrong, truth or the lie.

I have a brother, whom once was on the winning side. He praised God. Was born again and now walks around losing the game. He has chose to change sides. He sees my side as losing.

It is, at times, harder to be on the winning side. Victory never comes easy. One must keep the mentality of striving. You can see this thinking in any game. In baseball for example. The side that is winning has an attitude of security. But, the challenger keeps up the pressure and one false move on the part of the winning team and all can be lose. So, the pressure is always on.

Staying on the winning side of life, brings challenges. The losing side is always after the winning side. The winners must stay alert and cautious. Salvation is not to be toyed with. Satan and the world views are always waiting for a mis-step so they can have the victory. Like baseball, there is a winner and a loser. Like war, which is what we are in, there is a victor and a loser. What is your mentality? Are you a victor? Or do you survive?

Living in victory bring joy and a assurity of the outcome of the game. A victor knows that they will win where a survivor has no such assurance. As Christians we should know that victory is ours and that each battle we fight is ours. It is already won. But, if I am in survival mode, then I am lazy in my thinking, tired and stuck. Walk out of survival and claim victory over life and the games that tear you down. Life is to short to just survive. Find the attitude of victory and claim you winnings.

Fall from Grace

2008-07-28T06:44:00.004-05:00

Sometimes it feels as if you can only watch as Satan grabs and destroys. He sneaks up on people and steals their joy, love and their very life. His tactics are subtle at times and we can be in the arms of his evil before it is recognized and then we have to start to fight our way back to the security of God.

Why do good people, people who love God and worship Him with their lives, succumb to his evil plans? Are we not alert enough? Are we not truly following the plans that God has for us? Where does it all go wrong?

The temptations of the world, I suppose, can come upon us and we lose our grip on God. But, that seems such an easy answer. You could say, that people who fall into sin were truly never saved. But, that would be a way of alleviating the chance of my own fall from grace. We have all heard the excuses and causes of believers falling from grace, but, right now, for me, it is all just that, an excuse. Where in lies the truth? Why do God's beloved children turn from His very presence and instead choose to do evil?

It seems to me, to be such a foreign thing, turning from God. To deliberately create a situation in my life where I fall into the arms of hell. But, I have learned this weekend, that thinking that one could never choose evil over God, after knowing Him in an intimate way, is an unsafe way of thinking. I have seen the righteous fall from grace and I find it all to much of a slippery slope.

How easy it can be to move closer to Satan and further from God? Pretty easy. It does not even take much thinking. Suddenly, their you are following the one who destroys life and leaving the one who gives life. Does not matter the years of knowing God, nor the depth nor intensity of that relationship disaster can come. As day turns to night, the light of God begins to fade. The call into a life of darkness begins to control our every thought and soon the voice of God fades into the darkness of that long cold night.

I struggle with the whys in life. I see the righteous fall into the darkness and I weep, I wail, I feel the pain of God and I scream, I intercede, I fall on my face. My tears dry up and I feel lost. Not understanding how a life so abundant in the Lord can suddenly be controlled by the dark. Are we really so vulnerable to the evil of this world? Can all our lives be, in the twinkling of an eye, swallowed up by the schemes of Satan?

But, why? Where is our strength? Why do we walk away from our refuge? What is it in us that would choose to leave glory and walk into doom? I break inside whenever I think of our vulnerability. Do not delude yourself and think "I could never walk into darkness". The dark is only one thought away.

"Your Name is Holy"

2008-07-25T06:48:00.000-05:00

Last night in my community group, we sang the song "Your Holy Name".

You are the sovereign "I Am"
Your name is Holy

You are the pure spotless Lamb
Your name is Holy

You are the Almighty One
Your name is Holy

Your are the Christ, God's own son
Your name is Holy

In Your name there is mercy for sin
There is safety within, in Your Holy name

In your name there is strength to remain
To stand in spite of pain

in Your Holy name

I was so very moved by this song. It felt like an answer to my thoughts on yesterday's post. In the post I had told of lying to bring peace to a situation and how this lie had haunted me since. This song says 'There is mercy from sin'. This, of course, is something that I already knew, but hearing it last night brought relief and love to my heart.

God is good. All the time.

Peacemaker

2008-07-24T06:42:00.004-05:00

Matthew 5:9

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

I was called a peacemaker once, but does being a peacemaker include lying to accomplish the peace?

I was in a meeting, it was more of a confrontation over a woman's behavior in the church. I sat there with the woman, the Pastor and his wife.

I do not remember what I said, but it set off a bomb. I, in my stupidity, did not think it a big thing, but it turned out to be huge. I was repeating something that the Pastor's wife had said to me.

She denied that she had said this to me. I was taken off guard. She was lying and I was at a loss. The meeting got weird then. She went into a rage and the Pastor did not try to control the room. I watched her freak out and wondered at what I was suppose to do.

This went on for quite a while. She gave a defensive speech and we listened. Then she asked me if I still stood by what I said. I said "yes". And off she went again.

Still, I did not know how to calm the situation. I felt like I had to tell the truth, but this problem was not going to resolve itself and no one else in the room was trying to step in.

My thoughts went to, "you are going to have to swallow this one". But, how? If I lie, I am in sin. If I keep telling the truth, this woman is going to have a heart attack.

So, I made a decision and while asking forgiveness in my head, I said out loud, "I'm sorry. I must be mistaken. Will you forgive me."

Everything stopped with those lying words. She forgave me, knowing she had done the deed, and calmed down. The confrontation moved over to the other woman.

I felt terrible and a bit confused. I lost a lot of respect for the Pastor's wife, the Pastor, and felt I had disrespected God. I deliberately sinned.

I was told later that this was being a peacemaker. I am sure that most peacemaking experiences do not include a lie. But, I saw no other way out. So, I confess publicly that I have sinned and have come short of the glory of God. For this I am sorry and have asked forgiveness from God.

I have felt pain over this ever since. It comes up in my mind every now and then and again I repent. Perhaps it is Satan who brings it up in my mind, but my shame remains. I know that my Father has forgiven me. But, my sadness over my lack of ability to resolve this problem without a lie, continues to take a toll on me and bring me to my knees.

My Mothers Voice

2008-07-23T06:29:00.004-05:00

I hesitate writing this one because of feed back. But, one can not say anything that I have not heard before. I have been called everything. I want to share because it brings up the scripture in the bible:

I Thessalonians 4:16

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.

The other night my brother, Only in His Service, whom lives with me, came down the stairs excited. He told me he heard a voice. That the voice had told him something personal. Then he asked me to guess whose voice it was. Of course, I had no idea. He was so excited. He then told me it was our mothers voice, who had died in April.

I got excited myself. Wanting so badly to be with my mother, I felt wonderful.

We went into the living room and told my husband. Now, my brother is not as supernatural as I am, but since living with me, is coming into his own. So, a conversation started.

First, my mother had a similar experience when I was about 17 years of age. Her and I were visiting her father in Kentucky. Her mother had past away a while back and her father was showing the first symptoms of Alzheimer's. He was constantly talking to his dead wife. One night, while we were visiting, my mother had gone to sleep with a terrible headache. In a dream she heard her mothers voice. The voice said that when she woke, she would see her dead mother and her head ache would leave. When she woke, there was her mother and her head ache left.

That event was shared in our conversation. We then went to, how can this be? I, of course, in all the supernatural things that have happened to me, did not really care, how this could happen, but became curious. How can this line up with the Word of God?

The verse quoted at the top of this page came up. Since my thoughts on the rapture are, "I hope there is one, but I do not see it in the Bible", I have always wondered at this verse. My brother, who believes totally in the rapture, had a new thought on this verse. He suggested that perhaps we linger here on this earth. That we wait here for the Lord. This began to make sense to me.

In my life, I have seen many dead people. I do not know why I have this gift, but it happens now and then. I see them in their earthly body. I recognized them and know what they want. I do not talked to them because the Bible tells me not to. But, there is a kind of communication, because I always, supernaturally, know what they want. Which is usually comfort for someone.

So, if we linger, why would we not see them or hear them. The spirit realm is alive and active. There is good and evil just like in the realm that we live in. I do not have all the answers, but I know that it is very possible that the dead linger, waiting for that wonderful day of the return of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I am happy. Just like when I see the dead and it brings comfort to someone, my brother hearing our mothers voice has comforted me. It brings me joy to know that she is near. My mother loved Jesus and waits for His presence as I wait for His return. I look forward to that day, when, we are all together in the presence of the Lord Almighty.

Prophesy "Walk in the Realm of the Supernatural"

2008-07-22T07:17:00.001-05:00

From Diane Mourey

Walk in the Realm of the Supernatural
prophecy by Diana Mourey at the altar of Ignited Church, 06/2008

Can you take hold of the supernatural, asks your God? Can you take hold and believe you walk in the realm of the supernatural? Can you take hold and believe indeed I will come forth on of those who call upon me?

Even as you have called upon me, I will come forth, and I will come forth on a white horse, saith God. I will come forth and it will be with a sword indeed in the realm of the supernatural and they will see, for their eyes will be opened. For I've heard your heart cry and I've seen your tears. I've heard your intercession.

I have felt compassion, saith God, for this generation, saith God. For this is the generation that will rise up and walk in the supernatural realm, and they shall see and they shall hear and they shall move with God and they shall do exploits, exploits, exploits, exploits, exploits, exploits, exploits, exploits, exploits, exploits, exploits, exploits shall cover the earth in this hour. For this is my generation; these are my youth; this is that of which I have spoken of in times past, and you shall see it happen.

So yes, be comforted; be comforted in this hour. Be comforted; be comforted; be comforted in this hour, for you shall see with your own eyes that which I am establishing and you shall see it come forth even as your heart has desired it.

I am lifting up a supernatural standard on their behalf. Yes, you have heard of and you have seen those who are dying and who have lost their lives needlessly, but know this: I am standing in the gap for my little ones. I am standing in the gap, saith God. It is time; it is time; it is time and the enemy shall be put on the run.

Help with Understanding

2008-07-21T07:17:00.004-05:00

I am not sure how to say what is on my mind today. Some may find what I am about to write alarming or insulting, but I suppose since I am looking for answers, I am putting this out there hoping that someone will have thoughts on what I am about to write.

I will try not to ramble here, but I hesitate getting to the subject, so bare with me.

Whenever I do a inner healing, on someone, God guides me through. He gives me words, visions, pictures, whatever is needed to help the person find healing. I have done hundreds of inner healings over the years and God has always shown up.

When I started doing inner healings, often I would get a picture, in my mind, that was.....well....vulgar. These pictures would disturb me and I would shake my head and try to get rid of it. The picture...I thought...was some kind of sickness inside of me. That somehow, I was, for some reason, pulling up these pictures from my subconscious. I felt dirty, less than and just plain wrong.

These pictures were basically the same. Always...excuse me...always, the private parts of a person. I did not understand why this was happening to me nor how to stop it. I had repented, looked deep inside myself, and prayed against it. But, there it would come again. It only happened to me during an inner healing.

I am very good at letting things go. So, after a while, I would just keep going, knowing that this was going to happen and I'd better just ask forgiveness and go on. Then revelation happened this weekend. This is were my confusion comes in.

They say that confusion is of Satan. That is true, so I am asking you, dear reader, if you have an answer to this confusion.

I had an inner healing this weekend. Sure enough, the picture showed up. But, this time, it was very vivid and I saw a close up of a sex act. I thought that we were getting close to being done. But, I knew, at that moment that there was something else and it was big. Suddenly my eyes were open and I could see this huge demon in the room.

I was undone. I got up and was trying to get away from the picture in my mind. I can not remember what I said except that maybe there was more. I was walking away, still trying to escape, when out of the mouth of the one having the inner healing comes exactly what I am seeing. I cringed. Actually, I was shivering and wanting to vomit.

She continued to speak and tell about horrible things that had happened to her. The picture began to subside. I sat back down and called for a break to speak to the person assisting me. All in all the woman, having the inner healing, was set free.

As you can see, my confusion is in why would God show me such pictures? It is absolutely from God. The pictures lead me to the place I need to go for the healing of the person. But, the pictures feel pornographic. I recoil at them. I would like to make a deal with God and ask that He would show me a picture of a rose instead and then I would know what that meant.

My mind reels at the lack of understanding of why it is important for me to see such pictures. It all seems contradictory to what God is and what He stands for. Some would say, this is not of God. But, I know that it is. Without the pictures freedom, for the person wanting healing, would not be complete. So, dear reader, what do you think?

Close to God

2008-07-18T07:07:00.004-05:00

I have always taught, that before you pray healing over someone, one needs to ask God if healing is what He wants.

The Word of God states, that we are to lay hands on the sick and pray healing. But, for myself, God has told me numerous times that healing pray is not what He wants prayed or that the person being prayed over is going to pass over and healing prayer is not called for. In those times I listened to God and prayed what He told me to pray.

So, it became a habit of mine to listen to God before praying healing over a person, so that I am only doing what I see my Father doing.

Last night was different. My small group went over to visit with a friend who has Lou Gehrig's disease. She can no longer go to church, so the church goes to her. It was difficult to see her. She has lost way to much weight and can no longer eat nor speak.

She loves for small groups to come and worship at her home. While we were worshiping we sang a song, that I can not remember the name of, that had the words about a perfect gift. This made me think of what a perfect gift healing is. So, I spoke for a moment on healing being a perfect gift and we began to pray over her.

I listened for God to tell me what to do, but heard nothing. Confused that He was not answering me, I did not know what to do. But, I began to hear my own voice and what I had just spoke about. The laying on of hands and how that is what we are suppose to do according to the word of God. So, without the Lords usual guidance, I let myself be led by His Word.

I listened to the prayers of others and my heart began to melt with compassion. The room was full of the love of God. So, I prayed healing over her and she began to weep. It was so very difficult to watch, yet impossible not to minister to her.

Then God began to speak to me. He showed me her torment. She wants to communicate with us and be herself. This torments her. So, I began to speak to her about what God was showing me. That this is a special time for her. That she is so close to God. God himself is enjoying their communication. God is really the only one she can communicate with, now, in a full and meaningful conversation. He is always there beside her and loving their time together.

It is beautiful. When we look at Lou Gehrig's disease we see the horrible affects on the body. The mind trapped inside of a body loosing it functioning. But, in the spirit, their is beauty. For this woman, who knows the Lord so personally, it has become a thing of beauty. She is with her God. I would like to think that I am with God, but God showed me last night how much I miss the mark. She, this woman, in her disease, is with God.

They commune, her and God, on a level that surpasses anything I have ever encountered. There is no where for her to go except to her God. Her and God have built such an intimate relationship that it surpasses anything I have ever seen. She would like nothing more than to be healed, but she has accomplished something, in her illness, that is rare. A closeness to God, that can only be reached when we are shut up inside of our selves.

Demon On His Shoulder

2008-07-16T06:48:00.005-05:00

God had me tell a young man, a while back, that he had a demon on his shoulder. Now, I see demons on people quit often, but usually do not tell a person. But, this time was different. The young man and I had a long conversation and he decided he was not ready to get rid of this demon.

Our conversation went well. We did not discuss where the demon cane from or what gave it the right to be there. But, we did talk about freedom and God's will for him. When I left him, we were friendly towards each other and hugged goodbye.

After that, every time I would see this man, he would turn his eyes from me. I asked his wife what was up with him. I felt that he knew that I knew what the demon was about. Which I did. He was addicted to pain medication. His wife told me that he was afraid of me. His fear was because, he was sure, I knew everything about everybody. My response to that comment was "Boy, that would be horrible." When I told her to tell him this was not the way it was. She said, she would rather him think that I do know everything about everybody. She felt it would make him more conscious of his behavior.

So, for the last year, this man has been afraid of me. I, intentionally would, every time I would have the opportunity, say "Hello" to him. My intention was to try and brake the ice with him. But, when I would say "Hello" he would lower his head and give me a weak "hello" back.

I felt bad about what was going on. I wanted him to be free from the oppression and from the fear of myself. I wondered at why God would have me tell this man about the demon if he would do nothing about it. What is the purpose in all this. I did not like seeing his torment time after time.

Last Sunday night when I was prophesying at the graduation, he was in attendance. I saw him before it started, but kept my distance. There wa a moment in the graduation when I laid hands on a man and God filled him with the spirit of God and he was slain. He fell to the ground and laid there for a while.

After graduation, I found myself standing next to the man who is afraid of me. I said, "Hello". I expected the usual timid response. But, what I got threw me off balance. He turned right at me and said, with joy in his voice, "I knew he was going to fall down. As soon as you touched him. I knew it."

Wow!! I was so stunned, I think I might have just stared at him. Then he said, "I got that demon off my shoulder." Then he just talked and talked. He told me what the demon was and how he was free from medication. That he still hurt physically but was free emotionally and spiritually. I said very little. There was little time to say anything because he had so much to say. I was awed.

Incredible is all I could think. When he left me, I looked at his wife. "He still thinks you know everything." is what she said to me. "But, he thinks, now, it is for the good."

Well, I do not know everything, but that idea helped this man. It took a year for him to get free, but God's timing is everything. I celebrate this mans freedom, it is glorious to see his joy. You never know what God is doing, but it always turns out wonderful.

God's Timing

2008-07-15T06:36:00.004-05:00

I am the sort of person that does not believe that there a thing called time. I know that for God there is no such thing as time, so it would go hand in hand that there is no such thing as time for us. I believe that everything happens together in God's plan and that the concept of time, that we are under, is for the benefit of us.

Within that concept of time, that God has laid out for us, God's timing is everything. The last few months I have watched that concept, God's timing, as it moved me right into where He wanted me.

As, most readers know, I went through a battle with depression. While there, I had little to do. My phone might ring, but it was not as often as usual and my appointments were far less often. The needs of people for my giftings where not called upon as usual.

My depression was over my mother passing away. While she was with us it was difficult for me to work in my giftings because she was in my home and her needs good, at times, be great.

Just when I came out of my depression, suddenly my phone begins to ring and my calendar is booked. His timing is everything.

Sunday night, while at the graduation. I touched a woman on the back. As soon as I did, I had a vision. I saw her being thrown around a room by her husband. I watched the vision wondering what I was to do with it. It was not an appropriate time to speak to her and would she want to hear what I was seeing.

I was torn. Knowing that she needed help and also knowing that God's timing is everything. Sometimes the things God shows me is a burden.

So, I went on about my business and finished the graduation. When I went to leave, I saw her walking down the hall and said goodbye. She asked me to wait. "Do you do spiritual healing?" She asked. I responded with "yes".

She told me that she had been trying to call me, but that my phone does not work. Had to explain that for some reason, if you call me and I am on the phone, my phone will hang up on you or tell you I am not taking your calls. Is that not crazy. Anyways, as we stepped outside of the church, she asked if she could come and see me.

A young and beautiful woman. She is as tall as I am, which is tall. Eye to eye we stood, looking deep into those port holes to the soul. "Let me tell you why you want to come see me." I said. I then told her of the vision I had.

Her response was to continue to stare into my eyes. "Am I right?" I asked. She said "Yes". "Of course I will meet with you". I responded. She was relieved and went on her way. I watched her walk off thinking how God had brought me though so much to ready me to go back to service in His work.

So, my schedule as, again, become packed. The needs of God's people are great and heart felt. I watched as God's timing brings them to me and thank God that He has gifted me with helps. As I watched them heal and grow I praise God that He uses me and I thank God for His power and mercy. Without Him, none of this is possible.

The Weekend

2008-07-14T07:10:00.004-05:00

So much happened this weekend, that I do not know where to start. So, I suppose I will recount to you, dear reader, the events in order.

Several of my readers witnessed this first event. My small group went to see Joe Jordan on Friday night. He is called the minister of joy. This is because people have a tendency to get drunk in the Spirit when he is around. I have seen him several times before and it is true, people do get drunk in the Spirit when he is around.

He always starts out with a little sermonette before he starts a healing line. I do not know why, but before he was even finished with the sermonette, I felt the Spirit of God fall on me. There I was minding my own business and wham, I started to smile. I covered my mouth not wanting Joe Jordan to see me beginning to laugh. I know that if he sees this he will come to you, lay hands on you and make it worse. So, I am sitting there wanting to laugh, but being very much in control, but beginning to feel a bit drunk.

Then, a friend, sitting in back of me, leans over and asks me how I am feeling. I turned and looked at her and busted up laughing. That did it. I was over come with joy and try as I might, I could no longer stifle my laugh nor joy. So, here comes Joe Jordan. I saw him coming and wanted him to go away, but, NO, he laid hands on me and a friend in front of me. I lost it. I don't remember much for a while. I saw my brother, fall to the ground while being prayed over for healing and I remember climbing over a friend and my brother to talk to another friend in the middle of the service. Wow!!! Did I feel good. I wanted to play like a little child, but there was no one to play with.

There was a woman there who started laughing and I believe she must have laughed for 30 minutes. She crawled on the floor and was just having a great time. Every once in a while I would feel calm and then get hit again and bust up laughing. I needed that and I thank God that it happened for I now feel refreshed. It was a supernatural event that God granted me. Thank you God.

The next day, I was suppose to go to a auction with my daughter. That did not happen. I got a call from her that was horrific. Her pit bull dogs had gone crazy in the night and killed 8 of her animals, including my angora goat, who was pregnant. So, I spent Saturday morning dragging dead animals across a field for burial. The three baby pigs that where killed where butchered and the dogs are now gone. It was a brutal massacre. My daughter was so upset and I do not blame her. Other animals where harmed, but looked like they would recover. I found myself praying for the children, but they are such farm kids that they seemed to be little affected by the event. It was carnage. If you would like to leave a word of encouragement for my daughter you can click here.

Sunday night, I was asked to prophesy over a group of men graduating from a Purpose class. One of the men was startling because of the anointing that the Lord has put on him. It was so strong that I wanted to dance, or jump or, I don't know, it was just that the energy of the Lord coming forth from him was so strong that I could not stand still.

He is young, 22 years of age. He will grow bold in the Spirit. The words that will come from his mouth will be truth and light. His past will serve him well in his ministry to drug addicted people. There was so much to say to him but, not enough time. It was a pleasure to be in his presence. I asked him if he had ever been filled with the Holy Spirit. He said "no". I laid hands on him and the Spirit of God came. He was slain in the Spirit and filled with the power of God.

After the graduation was over, one of the men that I mentor, came to me with words for the young man. I had him deliver the words and then was asked if I would mentor the young boy who had just been prophesied over. Of course I accepted. It will be wonderful to watch this young man grow.

What a weekend. Seeing, hearing and feeling God. It was wonderful. But, then on the other end, seeing the evil of life. The evil was sandwiched in between God and I am grateful for that. My mind does not have to stay with the pictures of the carnage at my daughters farm. Instead, my mind is focused on the glory of God. The future of His children and His plans. Praise be to God almighty. In the mist of all things man made and evil He reigns.

The Winds of Change are Upon the Chruch

2008-07-10T18:00:00.004-05:00

This prophesy was set to me yesterday. I thought you, my dear reader, would like to read it.

Spoken By Don Franklin

Welcome to the Great Masquerade of God, saith the Lord; welcome to the Great Ball of God, for you have come into this thing one way but you will go back another, saith God. You have been given angelic host, angelic messengers; you have been given mantles and anointings that you even know not of. In the coming days they will begin to flow.

I am bringing interconnections right now with those that have been hidden behind the scenes for years whom I have developed and I am bringing forth. John the Baptist is going to come out of the wilderness screaming at the Church, screaming at the Church, screaming at the Church, saith the Lord. There’s coming a prophetic mantle across the nations where he comes up out of the wilderness and he begins to minister. After three hundred years of silence John will come forth to speak in the coming days.

There will be changes, changes. The winds of change are upon the Church and there’s nothing you can do to stop this. All you can do is begin to flow with it now. Change, change, change is upon the Church worldwide. I’m bringing it back into the End-time Church that I have so long desired. You have no idea how the heart of God desires to see the signs, the wonders, the miracles.

I will burn the dross out of the body of Christ; I will burn out the false prophets; I will burn out the false apostles. I will burn out those who will merchandize my people. They will not be able to stand the refiners fire in the coming days. I will totally burn out those who will merchandize and use my flock, and I will raise up the true apostolic heart, the true prophetic heart – those that will lay their lives down for the sheep.

You are the beginning founding stones for this movement, saith God. It has begun here in this house, in this church, in this city and it is traveling now across the nations, across the world. You cannot stop this; all you can do is begin to flow with it. Rejoice, for the day that you have been looking for has dawned; it has come. Welcome to the kingdom of God. Welcome to the change that is coming upon America.

I’m calling for kingdom connections worldwide. A transfer of wealth has begun; a transfer of wealth has begun; I will pull it out of the hands that have it and I will give it to those who don’t. Even those ministries that have disobeyed me and consumed upon their own lust, I am going to begin to pull it out of them. I’m going to begin to take their support away; I’m going to begin to transfer it to men and women who will do what I want done with the money. I’m going to cut the legs out from some major ministries; you’re going to watch them fall in the coming days. They’re coming down, down, down, saith the Lord, and you are going up, up, up - not only in the realm of the spirit but the realm of the natural.

There is going to be a new walk, a new countenance come upon you. You’re going to walk like men of God; you’re going to talk like men of God; you’re going to walk like ambassadors of my kingdom. People are not going to recognize you in the coming days.

Gone are the robes of the ordinary and here come the robes of the ambassadors of the kingdom of God. Here come the mantles of the delegates of the U.N. You’re going to be men of prominence, men of respect, men of power. Gone will be the bumbling fool and here come the anointed diplomats of God. You watch and see, saith the Lord; you watch and see; you watch and see, saith the Lord.

You do not even believe what you’re hearing now, but you will when it happens, and you will look back and you will say, surely that was the Word of the Lord; surely that was the Word of the Lord.

Arguing With God

2008-07-10T11:52:00.001-05:00

Is it ok to argue with God? I sure hope so, because I've been arguing with Him for a long time.

I remember the first time I tried to get out of something. I was working with the severely mentally ill in the community. I'd taken one to see his doctor. Sitting in this crowded waiting room, I saw a woman seating in front of me. Soon as I saw her, I heard God say, "Go tell her I love her." Now, I was not quite as confident as I am now. So my first reaction was, "I don't think so."

I heard Him again. "Go tell her I love her." "I don't know her, I don't want to.." Then in a very strong & forceful voice, God said, "GO TELL HER I LOVE HER!" Up I went.

I was quite timid about going to her. She had her body turned to the side so you could not see her face & she was hunched over. I wasn't real fast about getting there, hoping that her name would be called to see the doctor. I sat down beside her & touched her hand. She turned to look at me with swollen red eyes. The tears were stilling flowing down her face.

I said, "I don't know you, but, God said to tell you He loves you." She gasp & then smiled. "I am a Christian & I was thinking about killing myself. I have felt so alone." I was rather dumb struck at this point. Still a baby in Christ, my wisdom & revelation were in short supply. She thanked me & said that she would be alright now.

A prophet told me not long ago, that God likes it that I argue with Him. This would be a good thing for me, because, I still argue with Him. God has a sense of humor, I've seen it at work. Maybe, He enjoys watching me squirm for a bit. He knows he is going to win. My arguing with the Creator of the Universe is rather futile. He always wins.

My biggest argument has been over my future. He showed me a bit of it & I recoiled. What I saw was not anything I would want in my life. Why would He show me His plan for me, knowing that I would run from it. I believe it was to prepare me & for me to come into a place of acceptance. I'm still running a bit. Satan comes to me & tries to get me to believe that I have made these things up in my head. But, I know the voice of God & I know what I saw in the vision. It would be easier for me to fallen into the trap the Satan continues to try on me, Much easier than following the plans God has laid out for me. But, I will keep my eyes were they belong, catch every thought to the obedience of God & move toward that goal.

Hope

2008-07-09T06:58:00.004-05:00

I met with a woman yesterday, in an emergency counseling session. A friend brought her to me, but our pastor had told them both to seek me out. She was going through with drawls from alcohol and had the shakes bad. She sat in my rocking chair, curled up in a ball.

When asked if she was a Christian, her response was "I don't know."

Hard for me to do Christian counseling with someone who is not a Christian. But, on further questioning I found that she does believe that Jesus Christ is the risen Savior, she has just never been churched. She has no idea what the Bible says and no idea about spiritual things.

I had to watch my tongue around her. Wanting to bring in the supernatural. I thought it would scare her off. But, it was hard and I slipped now and then. She is a woman driven by generational curses. She calms the demonic by drinking. The thoughts she hears are suicidal.

Knowing that Jesus is the risen Savior is just not enough and I needed to teach her enough so that she could make it through the week. So, much to know and so little time.

So, I shared with her that Christianity was not about a group of people. I told her about Enoch and his relationship with God. That this was Christianity. That her relationship with God would be one that is intimacy with God. One on One. This surprised her, but she seemed to understand.

I told her to personalize the Bible and to read the book of John. This she did not understand, so I read a bit of Psalms 91, using her name where it read "I". She like that a lot, but had trouble even understanding the NIV.

I reached for a Bible translation called "The Answer". I, again, read Psalms 91 and she understood. So, I gave her my bible.

Supernaturally, she is covered in demons. They hover over her with an assignment to kill her. When I look at them, it actually looks like one is chewing on her brain. Knawing away her life. God has protected her from death and I prayed more protection over her. Her healing will take time. She is not versed or submerged in the Word of God. She is not spiritual. Does not understand the supernatural. I can not just jump into an inner healing nor a deliverance. She needs to believe. But, she found hope.

I talked to her about her thought life and catching every thought to the obedience of God. Told her to read Psalms 91 and the Book of John. She called me last night to ask some questions and told me she had read Psalms and had personalized it. Her with drawls were bad, but she was hanging in there. I advised her to see her doctor today to get some help with the with drawls.

Where will this end up. I do not know, but I, like her, have hope. She believes in miracles and I told her that she will be a miracle. I pray that the things I said to her hold her in hope. She is in torment and that always breaks my heart. I can not wait to see those demons gone and freedom brought to this child of God.

Virginia

2008-07-08T07:23:00.004-05:00

Her name is Virginia. She takes walks in the evening. She is 81 years of age, but looks, at the most 60. On her walks, she use to see my mother sitting on the porch and come up and talk to her. Yesterday, she came up to talk to me.

She ask me, "is your mother gone?"

We spoke of my mother and her death. She was sorry. Virginia is a kind woman. Her heart is always wide open and her spirit is sweet.

Once, she decided to take my mother for a walk. I told her that this may not work out. But, Virginia was determined that my mother needed exercise. So, off they went. They made it one house down from mine and then they turned around and came back. Virginia's comment. "We'll go again next time." She would sit for hours with my mother.

So, yesterday, we sat and talked. It was nice. Her concern and love radiated from her. She shared about her life and children. I was relaxed and enjoying the conversation.

Then she asked if I knew Valerie down around the corner. "Yes, I know her". "Well, she is not home and I have this magazine for her. Do you want it?" She asked.

I looked at the magazine in her hand and then looked up to her face. "Yes. I am a Jehovah Witness." She said. I was stumped. Never would I have expected this one. "Will you read it if I leave it with you?" She asked.

My thoughts were, be totally honest with her. "No, Virginia. I will not read it." I told her. "I do not believe the way you do."

"Well you know, most of us Jehovah Witness come from other churches." She replied. I took this as I could possibly be converted. "Well, I'm charismatic and I would suppose that most of us come from other domination's." I said. She agreed.

I then told her that I was ordained and a Christian counselor and the conversation about religion stopped.

When she left she reached over and hugged me. I accepted the hug knowing that she truly meant it. I watched her walk away with dread and disappointment.
And then the questions came.

Does Virginia walk so that she can convert? Is this her way of going house to house. She sees you on your front porch and makes friends with you and then starts the conversion conversation. WOW!!! What a great technique.

Very few Christians go door to door witnessing any more. What a shame. We seems to keep to ourselves fearing backlash from people. Not wanting to step on toes or insult others we keep our religion to ourselves.

I'm disappointed in where Virginia is at, but admire her courage and plans. I might just try to take a walk tonight and meet some new neighbors.

Praise Be to God

2008-07-07T07:22:00.004-05:00

Remember this:

"I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy,

down in my heart.

Where?

Down in my heart.

Where?

Down in my heart."

Well, that is my song today. I took myself through the soul and spirit tie breaking that you read on my last post and God answered that prayer.

"I feel good.

You knew that I would.

I feel good.

You knew that I would.

So Good, So Good.

I found you."

That was an old song. I certainly have songs on my heart today. God has delivered me from the dark. I praise him for deliverance. He is the great I AM. The Alpha and the Omega. My Father.

When I sit back this week, I can see what God did for me the last two weeks. How his plan for my redemption was laid out and I walked it till I was healed. I fell right into His plans without even looking for His plan. I was led by His power and mercy till I found my healing. Praise be to God.

Thank you for all your prayers, my brothers and sisters in Christ. Your prayers were heard and I am extremely grateful. You lifted me up on high and God led me out of the darkness. Your love heals.

I have energy again and hope. I am focused and I hope reliable. I look forward and not backwards. I see the light again and not the dark. I feel healthy and not sick. I pray and do not weep. God is good.

So, my future is bright because of Him. My hope lies in Him and my focus is on Him.

Thank you God.

My Prayer

2008-07-03T06:05:00.002-05:00

Dear God,

I want to speak of this one more time and I want to write it for my friends to read. They have been walking this out with me and I want them to know that this is the last time I will speak of this.

I woke up praising you this morning and it felt so good. I feel renewed and joyful. You are the great I Am, my Watch Tower, my strength.

I have been so lost and so in the dark. I have missed our intimate time together. My need for you is great as is my love for you. You have gathered me back together. Thank you Lord. Thank you.

Lord, you know my every thought and emotion. Nothing is hidden from you. Search me, Oh Lord, and reveal to me my inner sin so that I may repent and walk closer to you. Protect me from the enemy and myself.

I have over the last few months grieved the loss of my mother. I have lived in regret and guilt. I give those things over to you because they do me no good. They only bring me down and away from my service to you.

I give back to my mother those ungodly things she left with me and I take back, to myself, those things that she stole from me in her abuse. I break the ungodly soul tie with her, but keep the Godly tie. I will live with the memory that she was grateful to be with me at the end of her life and that she loved me. I will stop thinking of what should have been and start remembering the good. I will catch every thought to the obedience of God. You are my strength and my creator.

You sent an angle to me, when my mother was dieing. We shared about your glory and love. You sent friends to me that ministered to me and prayed and sang over my mother. For these things I have never said thank you. So, Lord, now I say thank you. You were there for me in so many ways and never left my side. You are the Almighty God, the Living God, My Rock.

I give you my sorrow, my grief, my anger, my life. I praise you, Lord. I praise you. I pray, Father, that you would heal my body and mind. Bring me to that place, again, where I see only you. Make me whole again. Without you nothing is impossible. You are my light, my energy, my life. Without you I am nothing.

Walk with me, again. Talk with me, again. I am only alive when I am closest to you. Make me new again.

My love for you overflows and my need for you is a hunger within me that needs to be filled. I want to be as Enoch and walk so close to you everyday that I am filled every day with your glory.

I repent from my ways and walk forward to you. Hold me tight in this battle for victory is at hand. I live for you. I would die for you. My future is only in you. I will not fear. I will be victorious.

Amen

Friends

2008-07-02T06:27:00.004-05:00

Try has I may to isolate...It does not work!!!

But, I still do not go anywhere.

That will change though.

I had a visitor last night. An old friend whom I had to share my situation with. She emailed me because I have not been answering my phone. So, I told her what I was going through. What does she do....shows up.

We talked for a very long time. We laughed and shared sorrow. We shared victories and challenges. It was good.

But, next thing I know, she has me booked for 4 separate events at the church. I told her it may be like moving a mountain to get me there, but she would not relent. Even stated that I may have to move into her house, one weekend, because she has me so busy.

So, I accepted, but told her I would probably change my mind and not come. The look on her face was one of "oh no you won't". I guess I will go.

One of these events will be me speaking to a group of women. My choice of topics. This is a month away so I have time to prepare. I could bring them all down and talk about depression. Just kidding.

God told me once, pertaining to friends, too choose few and choose wisely. Before I was a Christian I had no friends. I was ok with this...I actually liked it that way. After I became a Christian, I started to have lots of friends. People were everywhere. So, many that I eventually got hurt and that is when God spoke the above to me.

So, I began to choose few and choose wisely. When my mother was ill and past and now that I am going through this season, I have found out why choosing few and choosing wisely is so wise and rewarding.

My few friends have reached out to me with cards, emails, comments on this blog and by just showing up at my home. They have given advise, encouragement and love. They are patient and concerned. All have shown the love of God.

I am so very grateful that God has brought such people into my life. Because, I recognize that without them I would be in deep trouble. They are keeping me afloat with their prayers, visits and encouragement.

Since God foresaw what I would be going through, He put just the right people in my life, at just the right time, to see me through this dark season.

Thank you my friends.

Anger

2008-07-01T07:52:00.004-05:00

I, mostly, have been sitting in my home for several weeks. I have had a couple of counseling appointments and did take a road trip with my daughter. I sit and wait for God to bring me a word or notion that will help me walk out of this depression.

Last night, I could not sleep. I have slept for 2 days and last night nothing. But, while trying to sleep I heard from God. He told me, "You love your mother but you are angry with her". I was glad to hear from God and thanked Him but, I am not sure what to do with that.

It makes sense to me that I am angry with her. Forgiveness does not mean that all those feelings suddenly go away. So, I must contend with my anger. So, what to do with anger. Giving it to God is easier said than done. I would suppose the next question would be "do I want to get rid of my anger"? One would think that I would, but I have certainly held onto it for a lot of years. I then would say, that it has become familiar to me and since I have intimate relationship with this anger, I probably do not want to say goodbye to it.

So, there in lies the root of my depression. My mother is gone and I have nothing left to continue to be angry with. Another sad situation that I have gotten myself in.

I have made a decision this week. I will live out the rest of my life has healthy and happy has I can. So, that means I will give up bad habits and eat healthy. Well, has healthy has I can with the price of food right now. This decision was made this weekend while I laid around in pain. Then God brings me a word that truly fits my decision.

Working on giving up my anger is a challenge. First, I did not realize I was angry. But, it makes sense. Second, I do not know how I will accomplish this. But, I will focus and try. God gave me the word so I could be set free and I will be free indeed. Praise God for his mercy.

Memories

2008-06-30T05:45:00.003-05:00

You have all been so kind to me in this hour. A season that I must go through to be healed. The strangest thing about this state of mind, that I am in, is that I have started getting memories back of my childhood.

I have disassociated from my memories as a child. My childhood was full of trauma so my mind just took itself out of the picture. So, I have no memories.

In the past I wrote a post about my childhood and shared that my mother was one of my perpetrators. She was out of her mind with anger when I was a child. Not suited to be a parent. The abuse was total...emotional, physical and from someone else, sexual.

I tried, years ago, to get my memories back. I work hard at retrieving those memories, but nothing came and I became afraid that I would start making memories up. So I decided that it was better to not remember. My thinking became "why would I want to go through it twice".

God has given us a great gift in disassociation. It protects us from an overload of abuse and keeps us sane. The deeper the disassociation the more likely that the abuse was horrific. I had two memories and they were not go good.

So, in my depression I have started to remember my youth. Not bad memories, which I am grateful for, but just memories. My brother and I were looking at a family portrait and he asked why he was not in the picture. I just blurted out "you were working". I looked at him and asked if he used to work at the little grocery store by our house. He told me he did. I was amazed and happy. I can not relay to you what it meant to me to remember.

Since then I have had numerous memories come up. I asked my brother, "do you think it is safe for me to remember now that mom is gone?"

Could this be? There are things that I do not want to remember. But, I would like to remember the good things. The everyday common things. Those happy moments. My dad.

In the five years that I took care of my mother, before her death, I went through a season of "why am I doing this". Why would you take care of someone who so totally abused you? I suppose I was trying to make up for being such a bad child. Of course I was not a bad child. But, I now wonder if that was not what my subconscious was thinking. It really does not matter why I did it and I would not take back those five years. I am glad I did it because, I got to resolve issues within myself and enjoy the mother I was suppose to have. She had mellowed in those last few years. So, I am grateful that I had that time.

I do not believe that my depression is from my childhood either. I have forgiven my mother and anyone else that abused me. That is not an issue. I do have regrets about the way I took care of her. I feel I could have done a better job. But, that is now past and I must look towards the future and get on with life. Time I believe will take care of my depression. With prayer and meditation on God I will get through.

But, it looks like I will get through with childhood memories. I like what I have remembered so far. It is a joy to recall the happy moments or just the mundane moments. I have a past and it is coming back to me.

Lost

2008-06-27T06:28:00.005-05:00

I have found a dark pit. It seems endless with no escape. Time has stopped and my senses have gone to high alert. My senses, however, have begun to lie to me and reality as become vague. I have never been in such a place before and did not recognize it till yesterday. Now that I know what has happened to me I must fight my way out of the dark place that I have moved into.

Yesterday, a friend went with me to see my doctor. When the nurse called me back, my friend jumped up and went in with me. I was a bit surprise that she would want to go into the examining room with me, but it was ok. As soon as the doctor opened the door, I started to cry. I could not give a reason for the tears, but my friend did. She told the doctor that I was depressed.

I just looked at her. I had no response, so I listened to what she was saying. Sure enough while she spoke I realized she was right. I had missed it. If it had been someone else, I would have recognized what was going on and helped that person, but I did not recognize it in myself.

I thank God that my friend went with me yesterday, because I was in a bad and dangerous place. I was close to the point were I would not have been able to move anymore. I was shutting down.

Apparently starting when my mother died, I slowly was slipping into the dark recesses of my mind. My thoughts had become morbid and dark. My behavior withdrawn. My relationship with God diminishing. My contact with the outside world ...on hold. I could not move any longer. I quit answering the phone and even listening to my messages. I did not respond to my emails and have turned off my instant message. I only went out when I had to..like helping deliver the baby and only talked to people that caught me.

Yesterday, was the first time that I cried hard over my mothers death. It seems like there has never been time to really let it out. I, of course, did not even realize that I needed to do this. I am the one who always take care of others and not myself.

I have, over the last two months, kept busy with plans and activities, but have finally gotten to the point where I can not do anything any more. I am frozen in time and place. If not for my dear friend, I would have continued to fall deeper into the dark pit and let go of everything I hold dear. But, today, I know the problem and feel some relief that I can come back to life.

I have never suffered with depression before. I have always been able to let things go and move on. This, apparently is not something I can shrug off. I was in trouble. I have never done grief counseling and am not sure where to start. Time, I am sure, will take care of things, but I do wonder why this is so much harder than my father or anyone else's death. I am assuming that part of it is the reality of my own mortality. Death has become a focus of my mind.

For some reason, I keep writing the blog. It has not been very good and certainly not very supernatural, but I keep writing. The really remarkable thing is that God continues to use me. I can be feeling like dirt and someone will come to me for spiritual guidance and the Lord will take over me and minister to the person. But, as soon as it is over, I slip back into my dark pit. I have not shared with anyone, not even my husband, what has been happening to me. Not wanting to talk, I have kept it all to myself. I just kept slipping further away from life.

So, in my fight back, I will focus on my hope. My God and Creator. I think of David and his bouts with depression and know, through reading the gospels, that I too will find victory. I shared last night with two women from my community group what was happening to me. One stayed for hours afterwards and just sat with me. It was good to talk and try to sort things out. God, always, sends people to listen and console.

I am hoping that this is not like loosing weight. So easy to put it on and so hard to take it off. But, I am a victor and find my strength in the Lord.

Baby Update

2008-06-26T06:20:00.002-05:00

Little Pearce is doing better. He has a "leak" in his heart, that should take care of itself. They could no reason for him not using his arm, it is now down to not moving one arm. But, there has been some movement and the doctors feel that with therapy he will probably be able to eventually use his arm.

He is breathing on his own and has gained weight. Mom and baby came home together yesterday.

As for mom, she is better as well. Women, especially her mother, have been mimicking for her, what bonding would look like. Caring for the child, in front of her, has if he were their own. Her mother called me last night and said that all the prayer and help from others as caused a huge difference. She praises God for the change as do I.

So many prayers for this little guy. The prayers went up for his healing and for his relationship with his mother. The prayers fell on God's ear and change began. I must confess that I did not expect such a change. My lack of faith reared its head. But, grandma did not loose faith and she was specific in what she wanted and God gave her her hearts desire.

Grandma continue to work with her daughter and continues to pray. God continues to amaze me and I am grateful for His ways.