"You stole my salvation"

I had a man tell me once that I was responsible for his falling away from Christ.

Let me start at the beginning.

My husband knew this man from his past and I met him when he showed up at church. He was searching for faith in something and was going to try looking at Christianity. My husband asked him to go to lunch with us and that started a long spiritual battle for this man. At lunch he kept looking at me out of the corner of his eyes, trying to figure me out. You see, he had demons, many demons and I could see them and they,the demons, could see me. I knew what was going on with him, but, he didn't.

He is a very forth right man, so before lunch was over, he flat out told me. "I don't like you." I told him, I understood that and that I didn't like what was going on around him. That I loved him, but, didn't like his friends. Thus started a long hard work.

My team met with him on many occasions. His deliverance was not a one time event. One session went on for 12 hours. I remember this session only because of a strange thing that happened. He was wearing a very tight shirt. I was ministering to him when I saw, under his shirt, what looked like a very fat worm moving across his chest. It was under his skin, but, because his shirt was so tight, I could see it moving. I remember thinking, "if I had seen this before I became a Christian, I'd be running out of the room right now. But, instead I'm going to touch this thing." And I did. I reached out and laid my hand on this thing and the man screamed bloody murder. Well....I was surprised.

He had been involved with many religions. His spirit was a mess. He'd been in idolatry with another man. Believed this man to be God. He had developed a disease and his mind was so full of thought that he could not focus. God was merciful and delivered him.

But, he could not, or would not stand on his freedom. With time, he again, began to idolize a human being. One that he thought was a "super Christian". His mind, again, became overwhelmed with thought and his disease returned. He began to analyze the Bible, instead of meditating on it. His involvement with God became intellectual with no relationship.

His anger grew as well as his despair. There was no correcting him, because he believed he had all the answers. So, I watched, in prayer, as he slipped back into the grasp of Satan.

He left the church, although, he continued to visit other churches looking for the perfect church. We ran into him one day at a store. He looked very ill. His color was pasty and his weight had dropped dramatically and I could see his friends were back. We were glad to see him and he was cordial to us. But, a few weeks later, I got an e-mail from him.

He wrote a long letter. But, what all the long eloquent, drawn out lyrical writing was really about. was summed up in one sentence. "You stole my Salvation." He, also, wrote that if I returned an e-mail with a response, he would consider it an attack. Well, that didn't seem fair.

After all the long hours of deliverance and healing he only remember one single event. God had told me to confront him with an issue that he had. He stated in his e-mail that God was not confrontational, that He was a loving God and would never be so stern.

Don't we all wish that we could define God to our own making. Don't we all wish that we could make God in our image. NO!! Not really. But, this man is doing just that.

What he wants, he is designing. He is 100% responsible for his own salvation. He is blaming me for his own decision. Looking for a scape goat.

It is not easy being a Christian if you cannot accept God for who He is. For myself, I have struggled with who I am in Christ. Not exactly, flowing in the norm, I have had to chip a niche out for myself and except who I am. But, I never questioned the method nor design of God. God can be quit confrontational. When He wants to get His point across He will use whatever method He chooses. He, after all, is God.

It is easy to blame others for your own short comings. It is hard to listen to God and accept you short comings and then overcome. This man is on a track to hell. He is living in his own self made hell now. Miserable and self indulging. His indulgence though are self destroying. He listens to a self made God, Himself.