Got Tagged

Seven weird things about Given55

I got tagged by Aisha at Leaf Float Down River:

Let's see....

I know the words to a zillion Broadway show tunes.

I can yodel

I once ran over my daughters head with a bicycle.

I like to shoot my gun, but, more than that, I enjoy missing my target.

I have an abnormal fear of really big roosters.

I once caught a bee hive with a box.

I am a champion pool player.

Here are the rules for those of you getting the next tag:

Here Are The Rules:
1. Once you are tagged, link back to the person that tagged you.
2. Post THE RULES on your blog.
3. Post 7 weird or random facts about yourself on your blog.
4. Tag 7 people and link to them.
5. Comment on their blog to let them know they have been tagged.
I am passing this tag on to: Daily Spirit, Sunny's blog of books, paranormal, recipes, ...whatever, Twisted Christian, As the Crackerhead Crumbles, Great and Unsearchable things, Lances Soul Searching, Lee's Walk.

They Have Not My beauty, Continued

Several months before Phil passed, I had been at a meeting with a hand full of Christians. They were chatting to each other when I heard one say, "You know that what Satan has meant for evil God will turn to good." At that moment God said to me in a not so happy voice, "Stop saying that. You have turned My words into a cliche. In your finite minds you look at something & see ugly & define it as evil. How dare you. How do you know that what you define as ugly or evil is not My hand at work." This taught me to reassess everything I see & hear. Now, if I see something that I may define as ugly or evil I ask God,"What are you doing here?"

When I left Phil's apartment that night I began to talk to God. I had been calm & put together up till then. I could not get the smell or sight of Phil out of my mind. But, when I prayed I had one question. "God, I don't understand. You say that we are wonderfully & perfectly made. That was not perfect or wonderful. How can our bodies become so disgusting?"

Now, I know to you (the reader) this question may seem silly. The answer looks pretty obvious. But, there was a dept to my question that even I did not understand. I did however, keep asking the same question, but, God was silent. He was not talking to me.

I went home and washed my clothes, took a shower & put lotion on that I continued to wear under my nose for the next twenty four hours. It covered up the stench that I could not get away from. I did not sleep much that night. I just kept asking "Why?"

The next day I looked for help everywhere. Had women praying for me, talked to my pastor, and tried to read my Bible. I could not concentrate on reading & God still wasn't talking.

My husband & I went to Phil's apartment & moved out the mattress,pillows and rug. Then we went to burn them at his parents. I found Phil at 8:30 pm the previous night. We arrived at Dwayne's parents home at 8:00 pm the next. I felt so lost & confused. I needed God to talk to me & yet he was so silent. I was beginning to get desperate for answers. I broke away from the family and walked outside. Looking up at the night sky, I actually yelled, "God, talk to me." Then God began to speak.

"I have shown you a body that has not My beauty. There are many that walk among you that have not My beauty & you are sensitive to them.' Now, I really had no idea what that meant, but, I was so happy & relived that God was again talking to me that my memory of the event began to fade as well as the smell. I ran in & told everyone what God had said. "What does that mean." That stopped me for a second but, then I was off again with joy knowing that God answers all prayers & that He would make clear what He was saying.

I went home to pray & read the Word of God. Still I could not Read my Bible. I sat it down & picked up the book of Enoch. In Enoch it said, that angles still fall from heaven & mate with human women & then create giants. I heard God, at that moment "They have not my beauty."

I should give you a little history of Enoch just in case you do not know. Enoch was a friend of God. God called him friend. Everyday God & Enoch would walk together & talk. One day God & Enoch waled off together & Enoch never returned. I want to be like Enoch. To have God take me into His confidence. It says in the Word of God that he will take you into His confidence & I pray for that often. Enoch wrote down His conversations with God. The book of Enoch. It was included in the Old testament. Jesus even quoted from Enoch. But, at one point in time, it was taken out of the old testament. It was decided that it was to deep, frightening and confusing. I read Enoch.

So, I believe that God was telling me that he purposely showed me, "I have shown you", a body "without His beauty" to tell me that there are people on this earth who have not the Spirit of God. That are formed to do evil. He gave me an example. Here in the city of Wichita, Ks. there was a serial killer named BTK. He terrorized our city for thirty years. He came from a good family and had a good up bringing. Yet, the evil in him was & is so dark that he even took one of his victims & put her on the altar of his church. Already dead, he laid her there to fulfill one of his sexual fantasies. "He has not my beauty."

This event was not pretty, but, it was of God. I was the only one concerned about Phil, because that was the way it was suppose to be. This was designed by God for me. He took me into His confidence & showed me the unknown. One of the things he said was that I was "sensitive to them." This is very true. But, I can honestly say that even though I can feel the evil around me, I have never been around someone that is completely void on His beauty. I can only assume that I am being prepared for that time. In God's mercy I will be ready.

My dear reader, "There are many that walk among you that have not "His" beauty." Stay in prayer. Be concerned about your brother or sister. We have the beauty of God. Let's let in shine.

If this seems confusing or vague let me know & I'll try to explain more clearly. It is, at times, difficult to describe the things of God with our limited vocabulary.

They have not my Beauty

This is a repost. I am not well today, so I am reposting this one. There is a part 2, I will repost it tomorrow. God Bless.


Two years ago in January, I got a phone call from a friend who happened to rent an apartment from my husband & myself. I have known him since he was nine. He is as they say "intellectually challenged".

In his call he said that He had not seen another tenant in a few days & that there was a smell in his apartment. I really was not sure of if he understood what he could be describing, but, I knew I had to check it out. I went to my husband, who had fallen asleep early with a migraine. "Dwayne, Phil may be dead. We need to go over there." His response was, "If he is dead now, he will be dead in the morning." I did not care much for that response & felt that I had to go. I felt compelled to go, as if I had no choice.

I got into the car & while on the drive there, I phoned the manager of our properties. I told her the situation & asked her to get me a key. She was rather put off by the whole thing & told me it was to far for her to drive. My thought went to "What is wrong with this world? Does no one care? What is the matter with me that I am out here in the night looking to find a dead person?

When I arrived, I went to Calvin's apartment. I could not smell anything. I told him that the manager had said that she thought Phil was in the hospital. Calvin said that this is wrong, that he had been back from the hospital for a while & that his bedroom light had been on a few days. This got my attention.

I went to the window of Phil's bedroom. Blinds were pulled down. But, I noticed that I could see through the cracks in between each of the blinds. I peaked, thought I saw something on the bed, but, was not sure. I pulled my body upwards & peaked into another crack. Did I see what I thought I saw? I lifted my body up on the tips on my toes & peaked in yet another crack.

There he was. I could see his feet, although they did not look the right color or shape of feet. I could see his calves & his shoulders that cushioned his head while he rested on his stomach. There was no movement & no life left in him. I lowered myself to my feet and said the Calvin. "He's dead".

I called the police & my manager to ask if she would at least send maintance over to unlock the door. When the paramedics arrived they just pushed the window a bit & it gave. The smell was overwhelming. Silence filled the yard. We all stared into the bedroom & then a paramedic ask me, "Does he always look like that?" "What?" "I don't believe so."

Phil had been dead for over a week. He was an obese man whom over the past months had retained a great deal of water & had swollen to an immense size. I did not know that when you pass & are left to the elements of a hot house, that your internal organs begin the turn to liquid. Phil's mid section appeared to be gone. His body fluids had seeped through his mattress and the floor below.

The neighborhood filled with the stench of death. The lights of police, fire & rescue vehicle's lite up the night. Policemen vomited & spit as they left the house with the rookie of the bunch continually being sent back in to look for family phone numbers and to search for drugs.

I watch and waited. When the coroner came & moved him the stench increased with such intensity that I found myself walking backwards to escape the smell. I felt for these men. When they came out & put Phil in the van, they walked around the yarn with a dazed look on there faces. "This was a bad one," one said.

Finally, hours later, I got into my car to drive home. I started talking to God. "I don't understand. You say, "we are wonderfully & perfectly made". How can this happen?"
It seems like a weird question. I understand the dead of a body, but, I could not get the question out of my mind. God was silent. It would be twenty four hours later before I would here from Him & get an answer to my question.

The answer next time.

Be Prepared Always

A few years back, I had spent the weekend on a retreat. The retreat was a soul and spirit tie breaking weekend. I was to pray for people and break the ties that kept them in bondage.

I was leading a team with two other women. There was a large group of to be prayed over there, so we had been praying a long time and were getting tired.

After the women came for prayer, if they wanted, they were baptized. This took place in a hot tub, that was directly under the room I was praying in. So, at times we could hear the baptizing going on.

It was great. Women were being set free and there was joy everywhere. Many supernatural things had happened in the room that we were praying in, but one thing sticks out in my mind the most.

We were at the end. One woman was left. She was a very timid woman. Small and frail. My thought, in the natural, was that this would be quick and easy. She had been a Christian for a while and I did not see anything demonic or oppressive on her.

She sat down in front of me and before I could even say "hello", she was up, out of her chair, on top of me, her hands around my neck. She gave a squeeze and sat back down. This all happened so fast that you had no time to respond.

I heard a voice, from one of my team, saying "I'm leaving". I don't blame her, I would have wanted to leave to if I had been in her shoes. "Whoa, everybody stop." Was my response. I am staring at this little, frail, timid woman with a bit in wonder. It was so fast, that if no one else had been in the room to see it, one would have thought in was in your imagination. But, there were witnesses and it did happen.

So, I had to rethink. I could hear the women below me being baptized. I asked, one of my team members to go get a few of them to stand outside of the door and pray protection. When this was done, we got to work.

Binding up that thing in her was the first thing on the agenda. Did not need to be choked again. Why do you think demons like to go for the throat? It happens at night in our sleep, a lot, to Christians. Just a side bar thought.

She had been through a couple of rapes and a lot of sexual, physical and emotional childhood abuse. Spirits had gotten a hold of her that offered her comfort when she was a child and she had accepted the comfort. I see that a lot in my ministry.

We took her through soul and spirit tie breaking and deliverance. But, I really did not see much change in her. I do not think we were done. But, she was done and there is no use in trying when the party involved is done and satisfied with the status quo.

2 Timothy 4:2
Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.

I had let my guard down and was not prepared. I was tired and looking forward to the end of a long day. I defined this woman by my natural eyes, not my spiritual eyes. My mind was out of sorts with my spirit and so my thinking was grounded in the natural. I rationalized that this woman was safe and merely timid instead of listening to the Spirit of God and what He had to say. I let my guard down and became vulnerable to the attack.

"Be prepared in season and out of season" these seasons are not limited to the literal meaning. My season, in that room, was measured in minutes. The season, is now. The season is constant. Be prepared and on guard always. Not letting a moment in time fly by without knowing that we are at war and you need your weapons at the ready always.

Decision

I did not want to get up this morning. I did not want to face my day nor my responsibilities. It will be a long day.

Sometimes being a pastor or a leader in the church can be such a hardship and you find yourself wanting people to just get it together and stop. That, of course, is not the human way and I am sure, many, have thought that of me a few times. "Why doesn't she just stop."

My community group has only been together a few weeks and I find myself in a position I do not relish. I have to make a decision about a member of this group. My decision as to do with whether or not to ask this man to leave the group.

I have known him for a few years and have worked with him and his wife often. He sways back and forth with salvation. One week on and one week off. He drinks heavily and has another woman on the side. He flaunts this woman to his wife, even allowing her to come to their home. The couple break up a lot. It has become a cycle of emotional abuse. With four children in the home, the home is utter chaos. The wife seeks God on a much higher level, but gets her hopes up about him and then slapped back down. This can happen several times in one day.

Last week, he did not come to group. His wife opened up to the whole group and told all. She got wonderful ministry and the men, in the group, had a lot to say about the situation. That was the good part.

A couple of days ago, I found out that a few women in the group are uncomfortable around him. That he is looking at them in inappropriate ways. Now, I have a new problem with this couple.

He's salvation is my biggest concern. One of the participants in the group gave him a recovery Bible and he is eating it up. He called me, early, the other morning and asked me a question about the Bible. But, then he went out with his other woman and got drunk. He is going to group and church and is involved in a class at church.

I have thought of Matthew 18:15-17.

"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Meeting with him privately. If that does not work, bringing in some elders. If that does not work, bringing it to the group and if that does not work, asking him to leave.

There, however, are the women in the group, that are uncomfortable with him. I have to think of the majority as well.

Today, I must do something. I am praying to God for wisdom. The right thing to do. This is not a day that I wanted to wake up to.

Charis

The word Charis means a divinely inspired gift, grace, or talent, as for prophesying, healing, etc. Bill Johnson puts it this way in his book, "Strengthen yourself in the Lord", "Charis refers to the divine grace and ability of God Himself that comes upon and enables a person to accomplish His purposes." Charis is, also, taken from the word Charisma.

Charis is a gift, but a divinely inspired one. A gift from the grace of God to accomplish purpose.

So, how to you get Charis? Why do so many people miss Charis?

I believe it has to do with faith. How big is God to you? Do you have a reality of His sovereignty? Does it go to the core of your very being that God created you, is eternal, can and will do anything? How big is He to you?

I was once told that I have an unhealthy lack of fear. Before I met God, I was truly fearful. My all encompassing fear, kept me from achieving many things in my life. But, when I realized there was a God, how big He was and how much He loved me, my fear vanished. I mean GONE.

My faith developed. I began to understand how "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Heb.11:1. This will bring Charis. Keeping our eyes on God. Knowing that nothing, in our lives, goes untouched by the hand of the Almighty One. That in every good thing and in every bad, God is there.

This total belief is what, I believe, moves a person into the Charis life. It is our unwavering faith.

How to get there? Ask and believe for it. Do not put yourself under a régime of religious disciplines. Instead, experience God. I am not telling you to not read your Bible daily nor pray nor seek God. I am telling you, that we should seek to experience God in everything. Find Him in the minute and improbable things. In the good and the bad. Begin to recognized who He is. His character is what you need to find.

Knowing Him, is more than reading the word, it is experiencing Him on a level that swallows your entire being. He should be your everything, the totality of who you are. Believe in what you do not see and let that become who you are.

Christians should expect supernatural experiences. Through Charis we will. Finding the path to intimacy with God will bring Charis to your life. The door is open to that way of life, walk in, sit down and eat.

"The Team" Part 2

First I would like to give out the "Blogging with a Purpose Award" to my five friends.

Enemy of the Republic

Daily Spirit

Great and Unsearchable Things

Lance's Soul Searching

Sunny's Blog of books, paranormal, recipes...whatever!!!

You are all great!!


Now, to my focus for the day. A few posts back, I wrote of "The Team", God continues to make things happen in that vain, so I've decided to keep you, dear reader, apprised of the situation, with updates.

Friday, I got a call, out of the blue, from a long, lost friend. She is someone that I love very much. We have worked together in the past. We, both, ended up going through addictions and crisis of spirit. She is a prophetess.

Our work, together, in the past, was full of supernatural events. God, truly, used us in amazing ways. But, we went our separate ways and lost touch with each other. The call, Friday, came completely unexpected, but was met with great joy. She is fighting her way back into the arms of God.

Sunday, I got another call. This one, was also, from a lost friend, who had slipped into addiction and we had lost contact with each other. She was my greatest friend. We ministered together and watched as God worked through us. She is in recovery as well and, as she says, restored by God. Living in Texas, she is a long way from me.

Interesting, that all three of us ended up in an addiction.

I have missed these two women with all of my heart. But, why the calls, from out of no where? I knew, immediately, what was happening. God, is bringing together, the people He wants me to work with on the team. Both, had been with me before, when the team was being assembled. Many others were also with me, but I see God choosing who He wants to work with me and not whom I feel should work with me. Again, by no effort of my own, the team is assembling.

Maybe, you have already asked yourself, how can the woman in Texas be on the team. That is not exactly her role. She has already asked me if I would get a team of women together and come down there to her church and minister for a week. The object of that week would be the breaking of soul and spirit ties over the women of the church. You see, that is exactly what God showed me, years ago, that this team would be doing. Healing, ministering and encouraging other churches.

Is this not remarkable, watching God's hand at work. Everyday now, I wait to see what God will do next, in this area. In my excitement, I need to be careful. Careful that I do not get ahead of God. Jump the gun. Make decisions that are not of God, is my biggest concern. I need to be in continuous prayer and let God drive my way.

So, now and then you, dear reader, will get updates on "The Team" and what God is doing there.

Praise be to the God Almighty.

Blogging Award

I was graciously given an award by Aisha at Leaf Float Down River. Thank you, Aisha. It is a wonderful surprise.

Have a good weekend