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Thursday, September 27, 2007

Spirit of man

Last June I sat with my ex-husband as he lay dying. We had remained friends over the years. In our marriage we had produced 4 children & stayed married for 17 years.

He was in the V.A. hospice. He'd been there for quite some time. My husband & I had witnessed to him on multiple occasions, but, to no avail.

That day in June, I went to see him early. He had not eaten or drank in three days. He could not speak, but, would respond "yes" with a squeeze of the hand. I sat down with him while two of my children held his hand. When I went to leave he had a rather panic look on his face so I sat back down. Again, I tried to leave & again the look. Then I remembered something he had said to me a few months back. He had cried & said that when he had woke up from cancer surgery years before the most reassuring thing he saw was me. So I asked him. "DO you want what you saw when you first woke up from cancer surgery?" My children holding his hand said he gave a big squeeze for "yes". So I sat down & we stared at each other for 4 hours.

While there I started to see a demon in the bed with him. I began to cruse this demon. "You can't have him. Go back to where you belong. In Jesus name." It would go & then come back. After 4 hours, I left, telling him I would be back.

My daughter & I went back at 10:00 that night. He was now non-responsive. His eyes were glazed over & his breathing was very shallow. I sat down & stared at him, like I had been doing earlier. Trying to reassure him that he was ok.

As I sat there I started to get angry. I prayed to God. "I am angry. This is not fair. He has not come to you because of your own children & what they have said about you. This is wrong & not fair." Then I said something that I'm not even sure where it came from. "I want to know what is happening here."

Suddenly, the bed started to glow. It looked like what I see when the Spirit of God falls on a preacher when he is preaching. I asked my daughter if she saw anything. She said "no. Your the one that sees things". I watched, amazed that the Spirit of God was with this man who had not received Jesus as his savior.

I heard my daughter say that she was going for coffee & did I want any. Without taking my eyes off of what was happening I said, "Sure". She left the room. Then, this man who had been unable to talk for three days look right at me & said, "I love you." I was stunned. "Jim, Jim. Do you feel what is happening to you? Do you feel God." He could not speak again, but, gave me an affirmative motion.

"Do you know God." I asked. He squeezed my hand as if he were again an 18 year old man, full of strength. It was a "yes". I was so excited. "Your going to heaven. Your going to be with God." He shrugged his shoulders still not sure. "Oh yes. If you know God, you will be with God." I told him that he should not be afraid that the Word of God says that He will take you under his wing. I asked him to forgive me for hurting him.. I told him that I would miss him. And I told him that when he sees God "to go to God."

About that time our daughter came back into the room. "Your dad & I are talking" but, when I turned back to him, his eyes again were glazed over & he was non-responsive. I sat back & was awed at what had just happened. So full of joy & reassurance that he would be with God, my heart was blessed.

Then, all of the sudden, he began to change shape. Now, this is hard to explain in our limited vocabulary. He looked as if he were going flat. He was all aglow with light. He got flatter and flatter till there was no form of a body left. Then, out of this flatness rose a face. My thought was, that's not real pretty, must not be from God. Then God reminded me of something he had told me. That we, in our finite minds, look at something & define it as ugly, then dismiss it as the work of Satan. God said,"How dare you. It could be my hand at work." With God reminding me of this, I said to myself "ok" this is God at work.

The face rose up & then a huge explosion. The face exploded in light, that was so brilliant I fell backwards into my chair. It was beautiful. I realized that I saw his spirit leave his body. About 20 minutes later he took his last breath.

The event brought home to me that we are truly eternal. That we were with God before he put us into time & we will be with Him after we leave time. I am truly grateful to God for letting me experience that moment in time.

My children are also grateful. I was allowed to put to rest some of their worries about their Dad & his relationship with God. Not only could I tell them that he had received God but, that I saw him go to God.