Thursday, January 31, 2008

Free in Spirit

Do you ever truly become abandoned in the Lord?

I, personally, am that woman that people point to in the church and say either,"she truly let's her self go into the spirit realm" or as yesterday's post suggests, "she is really demented."

I enjoy letting the Spirit of God worship through me. My physical being, sometimes, suffers from this, but, I always recover.

I can remember, watching people at church dancing in the Spirit and wanting that, but not wanting to be fake. I yearned to be set free in the Spirit.

One Sunday the church was jumping. I was worshiping the best I knew how. When suddenly, I felt my body move up off the ground. It was like a jump but, felt like slow motion. I looked around to see if anyone saw what had happened. Felt a little weird because, I knew I had not jumped on my own. I thought about it for a moment and decided that if God wanted me to jump, then I would jump. So I did.

Now, sometimes, I can get pretty radical in my worship. I can dance so hard that I lose my breath, but I am completely lost in the Spirit. There are times when I hear that negative voice saying, "you're to old to be doing this." But, I ignore it and keep on keeping on.

I believe that this is so missing in the church. Complete abandonment. Letting the natural go and letting the Spirit of God take over. Moving in the Spirit, allowing yourself to flow into the realm of God and showing joy for the glory of God.

I went dinner with several friends a few years back. We had been ministering together and where full of the Spirit. We got to the restaurant a few minutes before to was to open. We waited by the door with a married couple. The woman asked me what kind of perfume I had on. I did not have on perfume. But, before my brain thought, out of my mouth came, "Jesus". She turned from me, but my friends applauded.

Inside the restaurant, I was so over joyed by God, that I could not contain myself. I shared God with the waitress, than I went into the kitchen. In the kitchen were several people. One young man was a gangster. He was huge. About 6'5" tall and must have weighted close to three hundred pounds. I opened the door to the kitchen I declared, "the Lord about loves every one of you." They all turned and looked at me and then smiled.

"Did you know that?" I asked. The young man said, "Which God." This surprised me. "The living God." I reported with certainty. "Why are you in the kitchen?" He asked.
I really was not sure why I was in the kitchen, so I just said, "So you can know the God of the universe."

He grinned and turned from me. I left the room and while walking back to my table, reported to the others sitting in the room, that Jesus loved them. We ate our food and I began to wane in the flow of the Spirit. My friends where having a great time reflecting on my actions and I began to move more in the natural and started to second guess what I had done.

But, on leaving the restaurant, I stuck my head back into the kitchen and said, "Be seeing ya." My young gangster friend, looked over at me and said, "You got balls, lady."

Uh, balls. I believe what he was describing is abandonment. I would never do those things in the natural. I was completely taken over by the spirit. Each step was ordered by, each word was designed by, and each breath was taken by the Spirit of God.

Romans 8:9
You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit

Romans 8:5
Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.

It is a wonderful place to be, in the company of the Spirit of God. The things of this world, just completely disappear. You, for a moment, get to share in the joy and love of God. To be overwhelmed by His beauty and grace.

Matthew 7:8
For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened

Ask for abandonment and you will receive. But, remember,

1 Corinthians 2:14
The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.

Many will never understand.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

A Response

I got an interesting comment on the post "What!!!".
"It reads, You realize you're completely demented?

No, I suppose not.

Do you realize God sends evil spirits to people? (1 Sam 8:10) What give you the right to banish them? Do you think you are Christ?"

My response to Anonymous was:
"I only do what I see the Father doing.

Demented? Could be. But, in the end, I am fearfully and perfectly made."

The comment was written anonymously and publicly, so I'm going to respond publicly, but not anonymously.

The writer of the comment, gives reference to Samuel 8:10 as a sample of God giving someone a demonic spirit. I Samuel 8:10 reads:

Samuel told all the words of the LORD to the people who were asking him for a king. He said, "This is what the king who will reign over you will do: He will take your sons and make them serve with his chariots and horses, and they will run in front of his chariots

II Samuel 8:10 reads:

he sent his son Joram to King David to greet him and congratulate him on his victory in battle over Hadadezer, who had been at war with Tou. Joram brought with him articles of silver and gold and bronze.

I do not see, in these two verses, the proof behind what the writer, "anonymous", states is written here. So, I looked for the verses to back of "anonymous'" claims.

Judges 9:23 (New International Version)

23 God sent an evil spirit between Abimelech and the citizens of Shechem, who acted treacherously against Abimelech.

1 Samuel 16:14-23

14 Now the Spirit of the LORD had departed from Saul, and an evil [a] spirit from the LORD tormented him.

You see, I do not disagree with "anonymous". NO, I agree. God can and will do anything. I do know, that God is governed by certain laws. Laws that He, Himself created. I'm assuming that He can break these laws, but that in His wisdom He created them, so in His wisdom, He abides by them.

I know that, by evidence of the book of Revelation, that certain events must happen in the natural realm. There are times when God uses any of the tools, at His disposal, to get those events into action. Maybe, I need to be pushed into action or woke up to a need etc. God will see to it the event is done. If it takes the use of a demon, I see no point in believing that God would not use a demon.

We need to remember what God told me. "You look on something that you consider ugly and with your finite mind decide that it is from Satan. How dare you. How do you know it is not My hand at work." No, God's work is not always pretty, nor what some would consider loving. But, God ultimately is pure love. His love just does not fall under our limited definition. So, whether it be a God given demon or sickness or disaster it is still an act of God, if it be done by His hand.

As for "What gives you the right to banish them?". I will repeat what I have said many times in this blog. I, always pray and ask God what He wants done before I act. I do not pray healing nor anything else in less God approves. I don't want to be out of step nor get ahead of God. And "NO", I do not think that I am Christ. I am the chief of all sinners, and am filthy as rags.

On a more gracious note. I want to thank Light of the Woods for the post written January 27th. It truly spoke to me. Thank you.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

A Word

When I was young in Christ, I was invited to a prophetic conference. Now, I was so new to Christianity that I did not truly understand the prophetic. It was a three day conference at the church that I now attend.

I had thought that I would play on a worship team somewhere because I had been trained classically on the piano for 13 years. I had performed in concert with worldly bands and thought that this would be God's plan for me.

So, when this prophetic team asked for people who had a gift of music to come forward and be prophesied over, I was more than willing to go. There were quit a few people up front waiting patiently.

I stood there is prayer and could hear the team praying for people around me. I could hear what they were saying and began to get quit excited about my first experience with the prophetic.

After about 10 minutes of me standing there, I began to get uncomfortable. I looked around and there were only a few of us left standing. The team had ministered to everyone around me, but left me standing there. I could see to my left that most of the team had sat down, but a couple of them were still ministering off to my right. So, I again waited.

Now, I am beginning to get embarrassed. I looked back at the friends that I had come with and they looked very concerned. I was standing alone and no one was there to minister to me. I returned to my seat confused. Those with me expressed a bit of anger towards the team, but, I was just embarrassed.

For years I was not prophesied over. Once, a team was forced to prophesy over me and the results were these very vague words that could have been spoken over anyone.

The dangerous part of the first situation that I have described is that, I could have, turned from God. Believing that Christians were not what they claim to be. Leaving an individual to stand along, wanting prayer, is certainly less that Godly. But, it happened and my resolve was strong enough that I did not turn from God.

Later,I met a woman, who would become a very close friend of mine. She walks in the office of a Prophet. I told her this story and that I never get prophesied over. Her response was that she didn't either. That those who hear from God do not need to be prophesied over. I already heard from Him, I did not need anyone else to tell me what He was saying.

This eased my unsettled spirit about this one. But, I found it interesting that the team had just ignored me. I believe that it should have been handled differently. If you do not have a word for someone, pray over them anyway. It is a matter of kindness.

I finally was prophesied over in a real way. It, again, was forced on me. I was graduating from a class. But, the team prophesying over me, were just like me and it was a revelation that I was not alone in my gifting.

I tell you this because God revealed to me today, that someone would read this who has had a similar experience and wonder at what is happening. You are not alone. God wants you to learn how to experience Him in a way that He has created just for you. He wants you to hunt Him down and ask for revelation. He will answer. He is waiting for you. Calling for you, longing for you.

Don't give up. The things and ways of man will continue to try to get in the way of God's purpose for you, but to not grow weary. Find your strength and endurance in God. Your healer, redeemer and counselor.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Do you have a Limp?

I have been seeking God since yesterday on what to write on this blog today. I have not been inspired at all. I floundered around in my mind and in prayer, but to no avail. But, I kept thinking about my journals.

I keep just about everything that God has spoken to me in journals. I carry one around with me everywhere. You never know, you could be just hanging around, minding your own business, and God speaks. Going through the journals it is clear that I have had many struggles with whom God has created me to be.

One of the things that God has said to me, struck me this morning. "Do not shoot yourself in the leg with the things of this earth. Your walk will become a limp. Be whole and receive my word."

When He said this to me, I was in a place of enormous struggle. But, when I look at it now, I see a whole different message. It implies that one can not become whole nor receive that fullness of God, if we beat ourselves up, focus on the things of this earth, linger in the doubt, dark, or ego.

It is difficult at times for us to pull ourselves out of the murk. We can get so far down that the only thing we see or think is ourselves. For some Christians, the limp is the questioning of God resolve. You will hear them say things like, "I know God is near, I just don't feel Him", or "I know that God loves me, but I can not understand why I'm this way."

It is not a matter of God's plans. It is, however, a matter of self indulgence. The things of this earth that I shoot myself in the leg with, are almost always self indulging. Oh, I can pretty them up with looking at the spirituality of my thoughts, but, I am only trying to fool myself. If I continue in this way, I will repeatedly shoot my self in the leg, maybe both legs, till my limp becomes more of a paralyzes.

Struggle is not always a bad thing. Whenever we truly examine ourselves it should lead to somewhat of a struggle. But, the way we examine ourselves should not lead to self deprivation. If we go there, our struggle will be in vain. To no avail. With spiritual eyes, we need to examine ourselves and then allow God to change us.

If we linger and contemplate our short comimgs, we will just stay there. Sick and dirty. I know that for myself, the closer I have gotten to God, the filthier I have felt. I had to come to the realization, that I am a work in progress and God, thankfully, excepts me just had I am and He is the great healer fixing my every short coming. But, I can not do this work on my own. I have to admit the short coming and then let it go to God. He, always, repairs me.

Evey once in a while, I begin to limp again. Knowledge is my first weapon against my limp. I recognize the limp for what it is and then I give it to God. Soon my limp will heal and my walk becomes whole again. Our worst enemy is our self indulgence into the mind. Satan lies in wait for your doubt and fear. Aligning you mind and your spirit, using the first weapon against him, will make you the victor in the spiritual war for your salvation.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Five Fold Ministry

Last night my home turned into the following verses.

I Corinthians 12:7-11

Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines.

Ephesians 4:11

It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers,

We had our community group last night. It was awesome. We were studying how to love flawed people. God told me to share my struggle with pride. My pride is a strange struggle. I have seen, through a vision, my future and what God showed me was big. At least big for little ol me. My pride struggle is that, I don't step out to share with anyone this vision because it feels prideful. Kind of a catch twenty two. I don't want to be prideful, so I neglect some of the things I should be doing so I don't look prideful.

So, others began to share their flaws. Some were very moved by their own confession. But, one in particular moved us to amazing prayer and compassion.

She has, in the past, struggled with agoraphobia. A fear of going out into public. She has overcome this phobia and has for several years been doing excellent. She confessed last night, that she was forced to come to the meeting by her husband and a friend. That she had begun to isolate again. Going out in public had, again, become a great fear.

Compassion filled the room. So, I asked her to come to the center of the room for prayer. That's when I saw what the Lord had gathered together in my house. A five fold ministry that flowed in all the gifts of God.

There was a prophet in the room who spoke over her words of edification. Words of wisdom and knowledge were flowing like honey. Discerning of spirits came from the hearts of the pastors. Healing, with the laying on of hands was evoked. The miraculous power of the Spirit of God, moved His love through one woman, with such overwhelming strength, that she could only hold her like a mother would a wounded child. The tongue of the Spirit flowed through the room opening up doorways to the supernatural. Love for the flawed shown in the work of Jesus.

I feel that my job, in all this, is to lead and then to stand back. Only to intervene if God calls me to. I prayed over her when God called me to, but stood back to watch Him moving on her and to watch God's people loving on this woman. It was awesome to see His compassion and love flowing out of His people.

This woman, I speak of, is a hard nut to crack. She thinks in black and white. Her resolve, right now, is that this is the way it will be. She believes that she is back into the grasp of Agoraphobia. Her self esteem is such that she does not see that God loves her enough to stop this attack. But, the words of knowledge that were said over her last night and the love that poured out on her moved her to tears and hope. God showed her that His people care.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Between Sleep and Wake

Last year I had to have surgery. I thought that I handle the whole thing rather well. I decided to take it one step at a time. First the doctor, then the test etc. Which was a totally new concept for me, because my usual way of handling things is to go through every scenario that could possibly happened. I can write history before it happens. I suppose it's to prepare myself for the unknown.

The day before surgery, I woke up and saw my husband walking from the kitchen to the living room. I laid there and realized that he was in the bathroom not walking around the house. I thought, maybe, I heard and saw wrong. So, I ask him, if he had just walked through the house. He said "no". I thought for a moment why I was seeing an aberration, when I heard a voice, "we have come to prepare for your death".

That got my attention. I sat up in the bed and thought for a while. "I don't think so" was my curt reply. I began to pray, to seek the truth. Then, I drove those demonic things out of my house by the blood of Jesus.

I knew the words to be a lie, but the timing, of course, was perfect. I did not let it distract me nor to cause fear in me, but I found it interesting that there was an attempt to rattle me. Why?

The most dangerous time, in every day life, for a Christian, is between sleep and wake. We become vulnerable to the attacks of the spirit realm. They infiltrate your mind and cause all kinds of havoc. Giving you dreams that create fear or doubt. Speak into your soul those things that play upon your ego, security, and strength. And if your sensitive to them, they make noise, say your name, just pester you.

To complicate things, the state of being under anesthesia is just as dangerous. We become very susceptible to the attacks. A weakened state of consciousness, the attempt to get hold of ones soul is easily attained.

So, here I am, going into surgery, with a visit from the demonic the day before. I knew they could not get to me, because of prayer and my Father in Heaven's protection over me. But, the idea, of them trying, ticked me off. I stamped around my house that morning, as I prayed these things out. Succumbed by the righteous anger of our Lord and then brought to the realization of how many people would have surgery that morning who did not know the Lord. What would be their fate? I was overwhelmed by the enormity of the thought.

A friend had surgery a while back and a group of us took up spots around the hospital to pray. We surrounded her with prayers of protection. Her surgery was long and she recovered nicely. We took up the stance of warring for her soul.

I tell you this, so that if you have a love one or friend that is to have surgery, you would pray for their protection from the infiltrating spirits. That they would have no attacks from the demonic. Also, that at night, when you yourself, go to sleep, you would pray that the Lord Almighty give you protection from the darkness. That the Lord hold you in His arms and you would fall asleep in comfort and joy.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

My Father

1 Corinthians 12:7-11 (New International Version)

Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines.

This is what I thought God wanted me to write about this morning. The Spiritual Gifts. Well, perhaps tomorrow. Then I thought He wanted me to write about a woman that I executed an exorcism on in a emergency room. Perhaps tomorrow. Then I thought He wanted me to write about Enoch. Perhaps tomorrow. Then I thought He wanted me to write about pride. I even wrote half a page about ego, before I realized it was not that either. I began to think that I was done blogging. Then in the clouds of my mind, I knew the truth of what He wanted. He wants me to write about my earthly father.

I believe the reason it was so difficult for me to find the leading of God in this, is that it is difficult for me to speak of my father. But, today, I will buck up and relay to you the story of the greatest man I have ever known.

My father walked quietly with God. He was a tall, thin and meek man. Strong in body and spirit, but meek in ego.

My father developed cancer of the mouth when I was 22 years old. It was a horrible blow to me. I was not walking with God and thought that my fathers God was cruel and must be aloof.

The first surgery, that my father went through, removed three quarters of his jaw bone, his teeth, gums and most of his tongue. When I finally got up the courage to see him, he looked like he had been run over by a tractor trailer. It tore at my very being to see him. Because of my sensitivity, I could feel his emotional pain and fear.

He could no longer eat solid food. He ate baby food and drank malts. He had a chemo machine hooked up to his chest, that delivered medicine to his body all the time. He dropped so much weight that he looked like he was starving to death. His pain was intolerable and there was no longer conversations with my father.

All the while, that he was suffering, his faith never wavered. He believed, that entire year, that God was going to heal him. He continued to love his God and not question what was happening to him. I, on the other hand, grew more and more angry at my father's God. I knew that, this God of my father's, was delivering him up to evil and had abandoned him.

I watched the torment of my fathers life, that last year that he lived, and wanted people to leave him alone and for his God to heal him. I cried endlessly for the one person in this world that I knew loved me and wondered what the world would be like without that love.

He did not have a lot of visitors. His friends abandoned him, not being able to look at his deformities. My mother took care of him and showed a stamina that was not of this earth. I just felt sorry for myself and lingered in anger.

He died a year after his surgery. His body unrecognizable and his hope for recovery finally gone. I had left to go on a vacation two weeks before he died. When I got back, I went to see him. While there, some kind of medical emergency happened with him and the nurses came running. I stepped out of the room. While waiting, I heard him stammer through a garbled sentence. "Now that I have seen her. I can go." He died 12 hours later.

What was the sense of this year of torment. Was there a reason? There was and it is good. After his death, there was a young man who came to see my mother. He had been one of the few that had gone to visit my father in that last year. He told my mother, that he had been a pastor and had turned from God. His life had become hopeless and confused. He said to her, that because of the way my father had held himself throughout his illness, that he had come back to God. That my fathers, hope in and love for God had ignited, back in him, the hunger for his heavenly father.

Is there meaning in illness? God, always finds a way. Through my fathers struggle, a good man came back to God and through that more came to God. Through my father struggle, I eventually found God and knew how to walk in humility. Through my father's struggle, I learned that God, no matter what it looks like, is good.

There was a man who walked this earth who was good and gracious. He was made of flesh and bones and yet was spiritually united with the Living God. That man was my father, who I miss with the depts of my heart.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008


A few years back, there was a group of youth, from my church, that took a trip up north to a Christian concert. They were all in there early 20's. One of the boy's was in recovery. He had an addiction to drugs and had only been clean for a short while.

While at the concert, this boy found drugs. He took the drugs, unbeknownst to the rest of the group.

On the way back from the concert, it became apparent, to the rest of the group, that he had taken drugs. He began to act out. He would scream, "Make them stop". He would thrash around the car, hold his ears and be in complete panic.

The ride back from the concert was long and isolated. Not many cities between Kansas City and Wichita Kansas. They stopped, on the turnpike, for gas. While there, the boy got out of the car, yelling "make them stop". He grabbed his ears one more time and began to run. He ran to the edge of the road and stopped. They others, in the group, were running towards him, trying to get to him and calm him. While they ran towards him, with hands on ears, he stepped directly out in front of a semi+tractor trailer.

I am told that silence fell over the group running to him. "He just disappeared." One told me. "It was surreal." another shared. The group of young Christians suffered from guilt and depression for a time afterwards. Reliving daily the scene that played out before them.

Why am I telling you this? I read a blog the other day that spoke of suicide. It was a moving and beautifully written post. It was written by Cruel Virgin if you would like to take a look at it. In it there is a short mention of how Christian condemn the successful suicide victim to hell. She is right. Christian's do make that decision for God.

We can argue the point as to whether God condemns the suicide victim to hell. But, when I read my bible, I do not find anywhere where suicide is consider, listed or stated as a great moral sin. I can take passages from the word and make them refer to suicide, but, I do not see where it is factually considered a sin.

For myself, I believe that the person that is suicidal is in a state of illness. Not all, can be listed this way. Some play with suicide and some want attention but, the serious ones suffer from a multitude of problems.

Mental illness is a disease, the same as diabetes. It is medicated and monitored by doctors and cared for by family and friends. The despair takes an incredible toll and hope feels gone. It is so very hard to fight the way back to hope and at times the despair takes over.

The young man that I spoke of at the top of this post, he, unfortunately invited problems when he caved in to his addiction. I understand what happened to him, because of my own experiences with the demonic. When the boy relapsed and took the drugs, he opened up his soul for the demonic to return. They returned seven fold. The act of putting his hands over his ears and screaming "make them stop" is reminiscent of my own occasion with screaming demons. Read: Satan Himself. He needed them, the demons, to stop. He needed relief. He did not know what to do. Perhaps, the demons were yelling "Kill yourself". Perhaps, he just felt he had no choice. The taking of the drugs weakened his hope and connection to God and those demons took advantage of the situation.

Is this boy in hell? I am not in the position to judge that. Oh, did I say, judge that. There is a clue. We judge the suicidal person and sentence them to hell. It is not our call. I understand why we have, over the years, made suicide a sin. The creation of fear over the outcome of suicide being hell, keeps many from the attempt. I have even seen this in my own counseling practice. But, is it true. I do not believe it to be a mortal sin because of the state of mind of the victim.

I do believe it is wrong to play God and take innocent life. What I am saying is that a person who is at such an extreme place of illness that they can take their own life, is a person that God would have mercy on.

This young man, in this post, knew God and loved God. Unfortunately, Satan is here to steal, kill and destroy. With this young man, Satan stole his peace, destroyed his hope and killed his body. God, I believe, looked down on the situation and gave mercy in His glorious grace.

Monday, January 21, 2008


I'm not sure how to start this, except to say, "God is good, God is great. Thank you God for revelation. You are mighty. The Great I Am."

I am so grateful to God. This last week he gave me a revelation that will help me with deliverance, healing and counseling. Revelation means: astonishing disclosure, and I was truly astonished by what God had to say.

Last week after our group meeting, we were just standing around talking. A friend was sharing that her and I had gone to dinner and while there we had a spiritual encounter with a demonic man. My friend mentioned that she heard the demon growl. When she said that, another woman standing with us said with excitement, "I have heard them growl too."

She started to share. She said that this,that this demon that she heard growl, was in her. That she thought it was either put there by God, to keep her humble or it was there to keep her down. Well, this was a surprise. The group of women standing around her fell into silence. I imagine they were a bit confused by this statement and not sure what to do. It did come from out of no where.

I stepped towards her and said, "did you just say that you have a demon that you think God gave to you?" "Yes" she returned with confidence that what she was saying was fact. I knew this to be a lie from the pit of hell. I reach up and held her face in my hands. I could see other hands reaching out to touch her and I knew that the people of Christ were not going to stand for this.

She closed her eyes and I stood there waiting for God. I could see, in the spirit, that she had been a lonely child and that this demon had given her comfort. In this comfort it had gotten hold of her and developed a relationship that had endured. I told her this and she stated that she did not want it anymore. So, the group of us prayed deliverance over her. After a while, I felt the thing leave. God in His mercy, delivered her from evil.

She was happy and exhausted. We broke up and everyone went home. I did not think much on this event till Saturday night. Suddenly, while minding my own business, God spoke to me. "She feels empty." The knower in me, knew who He was talking about. "Why I asked?" "Because, that thing I despise, that laid within her, has a spirit tie with her." He replied. "What" was my surprised response.

What a revelation. I thought, I had understanding of soul and spirit ties. A soul and spirit tie is developed between humans. It links you in the spirit realms and can be devastating when not Godly. But, God was showing me that these spiritual ties exist between spirits and people. I was stunned. But, it also, made so much sense to me.

I once had a woman come to me and want deliverance. She suffered from extreme mental illness and digging through what was mental illness and demonic was a chore. God told me not to pray deliverance over her while she was present, but to do it when she was not aware. This was unusual, but if this is what God wants, this is what God gets. So, we prayed for her when she did not know it was happening.

She told me a few days later, that she had been delivered from the demons on the day we had prayed. She celebrated and was so much better. But, by the next week the demons were back. She told me that she had become lonely and called them back. I realized now, that she has a spirit tie with these demons and to become, finally free of her torment, the ties need to be broken.

This Sunday, at church, I asked the woman we had prayed for at group, how she felt. I wanted to confirm that I was hearing God right. She said that she was feeling "detached, alone." This certainly verified what God was saying to me. I told her what God had said to me and began to pray the breaking of the spirit ties. She responded with tears and some pain. But, when it was done she had great relief and was so grateful to God.

Jeremiah 33:3 (The Message)

2-3"This is God's Message, the God who made earth, made it livable and lasting, known everywhere as God: 'Call to me and I will answer you. I'll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.

He is, of course, so right. I could have never of figured that one out on my own. Thank you God.

Friday, January 18, 2008


Job 4:15
A spirit glided past my face, and the hair on my body stood on end.

I really like that verse. Maybe because I've been there. But, I think it is so perfect a description of a humans dealing with the unknown.

The way that God has gifted me to see, has brought many an experience that should have made the hair on my body stand on end. And it has happened. But,we are not to be afraid, so comes the difficulty of seeing into the spirit realm.

Last night, someone in my community group said, that God does not give you more than you can handle. I had to laugh because it sure felt like I was not going to be able to take my giftings when God first began to accelerate them.

"Be not afraid", is mentioned in the Bible multiple times, in multiple situations.
Fear can drive us to God or drive us away from God. Fear can stop us from going forward or make us run away. Fear can be the driving force behind our goals or can be the reason we stagnate. Fear can make us wise or can make us stupid.

So, when it comes to the spirit realm why do we react like Job? Why does the unknown make us afraid? I believe it is a lack of understanding. It is not as unknown as you might think. We all have a link to the spirit realm. A link from God. You are spirit, you are eternal, you do have a piece of God within you that understands the spirit realm.

I really believe it is the uniqueness of what one sees that brings fear to the person.
The event is not common place, so my assumed thought of non-understanding creates fear. We need to develop an understanding of the spirit realm. We need to accept that the spirit realm is real and understand that it is a part of our everyday, ordinary life.

I have been startled by demons. A sudden event, has taken me off guard. But, I do not stay in fear. It is, to me, a dangerous place to be. Fear gives access to Satan's lies. I do believe, that if you stay in fear,while seeing into the spirit realm, Satan will take that fear and play with it. To increase your fear and make you useless in the power of God.

Getting your mind and spirit into one accord, should be a priority to us all. Walking in the knowledge of the spirit realm and the truth of your own authority will squelch fear. Remember, this place, the natural realm, is only temporary. The spirit realm is eternal. It is to our advantage, to learn how to deal with the spirit realm, to walk into it and to use your authority over it.

So many, believe in God, but lack understanding about the realm in which He lives. God calls us to be intimate with Him. To know Him. To love Him. To be intimate with someone, I need to know everything I can about that person. Including their environment. To have the intimacy with God that He has called us to, should pull us to understanding His environment. But, fear often stops us from going there. "Be not afraid." I want to know everything about God. His environment is important to me, after all one day I will live there as well. I do not want to let fear interfere with the glorious relationship that God offers me.

The spirit realm is not to be feared. There is a time for caution, but, if you are walking with the Lord, then of course "Be not afraid."

Thursday, January 17, 2008


I was given this award today from emmyrose at Dancing with Butterflies. It came as a surprise and I am humbled by it. Very grateful to Emmyrose for her acknowledgment of my blog.

When I think about awards, I think of our highest award. Awards are usually given,by the awarder, in appreciation for a work done. An award is received by the recipient, for a good job. God promises us rewards when we get to heaven. I look sooo forward to seeing what that might be. A good work done award from the Maker of the universe. How exciting is that.

So, here on earth, we too, acknowledge those who do a good work. With that, when I first started this blog, I was given an award. I was suppose to send it on to 5 other blogs that I felt deserving. I did not know 5 blogs at the time. Now, I do and I'd like to send on "The Thinking Blogger award" to:

As the Cracker Head Crumbles....
because his insight and knowledge of God makes me stop to ponder.

Dancing with Butterflies.....because in the midst of pain she makes me wonder at her beauty.

Desert Cat's Paradise.... because he looks at the world in colors that are different from the rest of us.

Brother Marty....because his humility, kindness and love of God makes me reflect on my own.

Daily Spirit....because she does make me wonder what lies between the ears of an Empath.

I was suppose to send this award on two only five. But, there are so many more that are also deserving. Please, when you get a chance, check out the others on my blogroll. They are all deserving.

I am adding an extra one because she is so sepcial to me and she makes me wonder at myself.

A Homesteading Neophyte

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Pleading and Commanding Prayer

There are different ways to pray, as we all probably know. There is a pleading prayer and a commanding prayer. A kind of request and an order. Most people pray in the request mode. I believe this is because they are in a routine of prayer.

We, actually, get in quit the routine. Doing everything basically the same. Our walk with Christ becomes ordinary and we rely on the same things to see us through. Our routine becomes habit. I'm not saying that being a habitual Christian is a bad thing, we should all be addicted to God. But, a routine makes something common place and in affect a nonimpacting ritual.

When I first came back to my precious church, I noticed how beautiful their prayers were. The language was eloquent and the tone was sweet. I was impressed by how poetic it sounded. I was drawn into the prayer by the love of the one speaking. But, then after a while I started to notice that no matter what the occasion the prayer was the same. They are so caught up in the routine or pattern of the method of prayer, that it never alters.

I was asked to prayer over a woman who had requested healing prayer. I was new back at the church and trying to keep a low profile. When asked to pray over her, I really did not want to, I was still not sure of where I was going in the church and was mostly wanting to be just left alone. So, the women in the room did not know me at all.

Before, I got to the woman, a group of began to pray over her. Some were standing and some kneeling around her. The prayers were, again, sweet, soft and pleading. I hesitated knowing, I don't always know what is going to come out of my mouth. Again, I was asked to go over and pray for her. I didn't get to far and the love of God came over me and I fell to the ground. I could not get up under the power of His love, so I began to crawl.

Some of the women who were praying saw me and thought that I need prayer. They started laying hands on me and lifting me up to God. They have wonderful hearts at my church, always willing and armed with a prayer. I could hear the sweetness of their prayers and realized they thought I was sick. I continued to crawl to the woman who had asked for prayer.

In the room I began to hear different prayers. One came from right above me. This was not a prayer for me, but for the other woman. It was praising God in a forceful voice. I shouted "Yes, God" and the prayer got louder. Then I could here a voice from another part of the room commanding the presence of evil to leave this place. The more I agreed with these prayers the more demanding they became.

I must have looked the sight. I'm crawling on the floor,crying with three to four women following me praying to God over me. Finally, I get to the woman. I am wiped out by now. So much power. I knew that God wanted to heal this woman because of the love that He was sharing with me, that He had for her. He always, give me a taste of His love when He wants healing.

I got up and stood in front of her. I could still hear the pleading prayers around her. The women all had their eyes shut and heads bowed. It was a beautiful sight of reverence and love. I knew, though, that I was about to interrupt this sight.

I had to ask her name. We looked at each other for a moment and then I told her that she had a valve in her heart that looked like it would stick now and then. Then I told her that God was going to heal her now. How the while, I'm praying in the back of my head that God would use me as a conduit of His love. So, I reached out and touched her. She moved backwards and the women caught her. I commanded in a stern voice that she be delivered from the grasp of sickness and that she is healed in the power and the name of Jesus Christ.

It was as if the world stopped. Silence fell into the room and all inhabitants of the room stared at the woman getting prayer. The wonderful group of women that were following me had taken a step back and put their hands down. Everything slowed. The woman took a deep breath, looked up at me and said, with tears, "thank you." I said, "Your welcome. To God be the glory." and we were done.

The story of what went on in that room spread through the families of those in the room. I retreated into my hiding place, but was a bit more willing to come out. The woman getting prayer, told me that she had a valve in her heart that was sticking and she knew she'd been healed. I needed to hear that, a validation I needed at that time.

We should never be stuck in a routine of prayer. God is unpredictable and is looking for someone to pray. If we are stuck in a routine of prayer and not willing to break free of that routine, then when God is in need of a different kind of prayer, we will not be able to impact the way He needs.

God hears all prayers. But, He is not the only one listening. The spirit realm hears you as well. Those demonic forces are listening. We should not be pleading with them nor pleading with God to take them away. You have been left with the same power that Jesus Christ walked in here on this earth. You, my friend, have the prayer of command. Command those demons to leave this place. Command by the name of Jesus Christ and they will flee.

We plead for a "yes", but the "yes" has already been given by God. "Yes, it is done." "Yes,by my stripes you are healed." We need not plead, the answer is already there. Command that the deed fall into line with the Word of God and obey.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Down side of Life

Blogging is such great fun because I can get out some of those dark things that lay inside of me that I'd otherwise ignore. So, I'm straying from the subject of Supernatural Christian today and getting something out.

I struggled yesterday. I struggled with a lot of different thoughts, most that were not uplifting. I think it was because it was my birthday and I turned 56 years old.

It is weird to be on the down side of life. Even the term "down side of life" is awkward to write. This is a strange time for me. I don't usually look backwards but, it's always been hard for me to look to the future, so I concentrate on today.

But, now, it would seem that I need to look forward. How much time do I have left. I look at my mother, who is still with me, and think she's got 29 years on me. But, she is healthy, with exception of the Alzheimer's. There is no chronic disease nibbling on her internal organs, one bite at a time.

So, my day yesterday, was full of thoughts of death. I don't fear death, but, I don't look forward to it either. Wanting to see what becomes of the things on this earth. Wanting to experience it all. But, there is not a lot I can do about that, so i struggled yesterday with what the outcome of my life would be in the end.

Ouch, when you look at the world and those who have impacted it with their wisdom, brilliance and talent, ouch. Do I have time to do that,NOOOOOOO. Is it in the plans for me to impact the world in a huge way, Doubt it. So, I asked God, "What am I doing here?"

I know my purpose and God has reminded me of that. To bring His children into a closer relationship with Him. I do do that, but my isolation from the world limits the number of people that I minister to. So, when I reflect on that, I feel so less than. So, I speak to God again. "I can only reach a few." He comforts me with. "The few you reach are the few I want you to reach." "When you are done, I will take you home."

Do I feel better? Somewhat. Still looking at the "downside of life". But, knowing that I still have worth and purpose from God sustains me. Keeping my eyes on the now, like I have always done is where I need to be. Not defining myself by disease nor time is important to my quality of life. The true definition of who I am is in the words of God. Wonderfully and perfectly made.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Hallow or Shallow Ground

Yesterday was church and with the aide of steroids, I got to go. This physical set back "ain't going to get me down". I was excited about church. I just felt such a hunger to be among my brothers and sisters.

As soon as we got inside of the door, a friend came up and asked if I'd pray healing over a woman who was visiting. My ego, I guess, got in the way, because when we walk over to her there was a ground of folks around her getting ready to pray. I thought, it was just my friend and I that were praying. This threw me. I didn't know any of these people and know that I see, hear and feel different from most folks, soooo, it threw me. To top it off, my friend, who asked me to pray, walked off.

The woman wanting prayer, was in a wheel chair and very frail. She had an attendant with her who introduced her and said that she had just entered hospice. Everyone, just stared at her for a minute. It was an uncomfortable moment. I was waiting for someone, a leader, to take the lead. I'm assuming that's what the others were waiting for. I know that I'm a leader, but, I continue to try and keep a low profile there at the church. When prayer began, I was not sure what to do.

This woman is going to die. It is her time. So, as I listened to the prayers I could see that these were not the prayers that she needed. It was not the time for healing prayer, she needed prayer for fear, despair and guilt. She needed to know that God will call her to Himself.

I listened to the commands of healing in the name of Jesus Christ and watched this woman's face. She cried so very hard but, the look on her face was more of a "please". I realized, that she did not know what it was she really needed. She, of course, wants to live, but she also knows her fate. She is desperately needing and wanting to have that reassurance that God will never leave her.

So, while they were praying, I knelt down beside her, took her hand and began to cry with her. The love of God had come on me and my body was becoming overwhelmed by His power. I felt separated from the others. It was just her and I alone. I could here them, but not feel them.

So, I ministered to her in the way that I know God wanted her to be ministered too. I feel like I came short of what He wanted, but I did what I could. I, also, think I may have interrupted someone and for that I am sorry. I can just be so impulsive sometimes. Like I said, I could hear the others, but not feel them. It was just me and this woman.

I told her that God knows what it is that concerns her. That she was living in despair and fear. This is not were God wants her and that she needed to understand that God is for her not against her. "He is with you now and forever." Then I could see that she goes to a place in her imagination that gives her peace. I told her that when she goes to her private dream and plays in the grass that she should sing to the Lord. He showed me that through her song He would bring peace to her. I shared that God's healing for her today, was in her heart.

She listened to me and nodded. Then a man, I did not know, prayed healing again, in the name of Jesus. I, however, continued to feel her despair. We all went back to our seats and she ended up across the aisle from me. Throughout the entire service I could feel her despair. My flesh wanted to do more but, God had said what He needed to say and I was done. It was a hard service for me.

I have a question, that maybe you, the reader, can answer or maybe it will come from God. What happens to those prayers that are misguided. I know that God hears the compassion behind them and that these prayers are not meant for harm but, do they fall on hallow ground or shallow ground.

I believe that this kind of jumping before God is why so many think that God does not hear their prayers. He hears, its just that they are not praying with what God is doing. So, for them it looks and feels like God is against them. We really need to do what the Father is doing.

I pray for this woman. I pray that she hears what God was saying to her and finds peace.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Glitter Graphics & Comments

Friday, January 11, 2008

Supernatural Spiritual Eyes

John 5:19
Jesus gave them this answer: "I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.

This verse took on new meaning for me last night, thanks to my friend Kevin. I had, my first, in home community meeting last night. It was very good. The subject was learning to love like the Father loves. The conversation was meaningful and deep.

At one point I shared about a conversation I have had with God. I told God, that I love to see what His hand has done. To see the result of His plan, but that I wanted to see His hand at work. To see what He was doing, when He was doing it. He has many a time allowed this to happen.

When I was done sharing this, my friend Kevin said, "This is what Jesus meant when He said, "I can do only what I see My Father doing"". I had never thought of that verse in that way. It was wonderful. Kevin went on to say, "It is seeing prophetically."

Wow, of course it is. If I put on my supernatural spiritual eyes, I am seeing what the Father is doing. Thus, I can do what my Father is doing. I am walking the path of righteousness. I know when to turn and when not. I know when to say "yes" and when to say "no".

With my supernatural spiritual eyes I will be able to walk out the purpose of God's plan for me on this earth. I, like Jesus, will be able to see the plans that He has made for me and go forward in them. My flesh may not like what it sees, but my spirit will be constantly in the light of God.

What a beautiful and wonderful revelation. How precious are these spiritual eyes. What a wonderful, underused gift from the Almighty. The Great I Am. In my life I have been grateful for so very much, but, nothing like this. I am grateful, oh merciful God, for my spiritual eyes.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Ready at All Times

Wow, This is post 100. Did not think I had that much to say. Actually, I don't. God does though. I've thought of quiting, many a time. But, He keeps me going.

This has been a horrible week for me. I sit with my lap top and my crocheting. That's about all I can do, with the Lupus and steroids. This attack/test is formidable. I believe it is about the group that starts here tonight. Must be some good stuff going to come out of it

The attacks have come from all different directions. One that I'd like to share is, at the least, curious. And curiosity can get me in trouble.

I've gotten several calls this week from people asking for help in various situations. One call came from a woman that is definitely a curiosity. I met her several years ago at a Healing service. She had come in to be healed of aliments that she had had for years. But, she did not receive healing. She was directed to me and a healing team that I had been working with. So, I had her meet with us.

She expressed that she had demons in her legs. I found this of interest. Why just her legs? She had been to see different ministry teams for 30 years and to no avail. That was a hint that something is amiss. Her undoing with me was "No one can help me."

I knew by this statement, that her faith was in man. She continued to mention the demons and man but, rarely God. She talked a lot and did not listen when you got the chance to speak. Very much wrapped up in her own world. Stuck- not willing to change her thinking, prayer life, attitude nor concept.

After quite a while of trying to work with her, I told her she was not ready for deliverance. Hard call. Sending someone away that is suffering to such an extreme seems and feels cold hearted. But, I knew that to pray over her, at that time, would only harm her or be of no avail.

I let her go. But, this week she calls. She says that she is in terrible shape. That the demons are killing her and are still in her legs. Wanted me to meet with her and pray deliverance. My flesh screamed "oh no not you" but,then I melted and began to have concern. What should I do? I do know that, right now, I am not in a position to be messing with demons. My physical condition and medication makes me less than ready. So, I listened.

No matter what I said, she had an answer. No change there. I could not think of one place for her to go for help that she had not already been. Then God speaks to me. "She is sent to harm you." Alarms go off in me. "To harm me"? Now, I'm searching for the words to get off the phone.

When I finally got off the phone I realized how Satan truly tries to get to me through my compassion. He knows it is hard for me to say "No" to someone in need. It has gotten me into tight situations before. God, saved me once again. The saddest part of all this is that this woman is such a pawn of Satan. He uses her and abuses her. Her life is miserable. Fighting the presence of the enemy everyday. My heart goes out to her.

How did she get into such a position? There's my curiosity again. Why does she tolerate it? God is saying to me that, her faith has always been small and that she entertained the dark for a time in her life. A strong hold was secured from the dark and that keeps her faith small. She knows who God is but, does not understand Him.

This is very sad. She is an extreme example of were most of the world is at. She, although, is just very obvious the rest of the world looks normal.

As Christians we have to be ready, at all times, to confront the enemy. We need to be listening to God and staying alert. I could have fallen right into this trap. God, however, intervened again on my behalf.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Dual Membership

Darkness...what does it mean?

Not long ago, I was asked by a mother to pray over her daughter, who had a severe headache at the time. The daughter sat down in from of me with a contorted face full of tears. My heart went out to her, but, I felt something was not going to go the way her mother had planned.

When I touched her head, I felt a little like a Vulcan from Star Trek. I could see darkness. Extreme darkness. I said, "There is more than a headache here." I could here another Christian sensitive, in the room agreeing.

Her mind was so confused and so very, very dark. Just a teenager, I wondered at the complexity of what was going on in her mind. The darkness was everywhere, clouding out the God given spirit that so hungered to explode inside of her.

So, what is darkness. Satan? The flesh? The world? What has taken a hold of this child?

While I held this young women, I realized the darkness was the sum of the whole. The totality of this realm that we exist in. That she was so bombarded by the impurities of this earth that light could only fight to get inside of her. Her spirit is in a fight for its very existence. Fighting to overcome.

She is a child that knows who God is,but does not know what God is to her. She has not yet found, the answer to the darkness. She does not even realize that she is in need of freedom. She lives in the dark not recognizing that there is a different way to exist. Blinded by the dark to the things of God.

The horrible lesson, for me, in all this, was that most of the world walk this way. That many of my fellow, brothers and sisters in Christ, walk this way. Without God's revelation, they will continue to walk this way. Caught up in the things of this world, missing the mark. Skimming the surface of a Godly relationship not really wanting the true things of God.

I, of course, am among those who reside with one foot in and one foot out of the things of God. Flirting with darkness in many ways. My God has brought this instance, with this girl, to my remembrance not only for you, dear reader, but, for myself as well. There is no room within us for the light of God and the schemes of the enemy. Purity of heart is what God is looking for. Not dual membership into the spirit realm.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

To Be Like Ananias

Are you sold out to God? Would you do anything that He asks you to do?

This last Sunday our Pastor spoke about Ananias.

Acts 9:10-19

In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, "Ananias!"
"Yes, Lord," he answered.

The Lord told him, "Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight."

"Lord," Ananias answered, "I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name."

But the Lord said to Ananias, "Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name."

Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, "Brother Saul, the Lord—Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here—has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit." Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul's eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptized, and after taking some food, he regained his strength.

That is amazing obedience. Completely sold out to God. He did protest a bit. But, swallowed his fear and walked out his purpose. We don't know a lot about this courageous man. But, I believe, we know what we need to know and learn from this man.

I have been asked, by God, to do many things that I don't want to do. But, nothings like risking my life. Would that be when I would say to myself, "that was not God talking to me, that was my own thoughts." Problem is, I know God's voice. But, would I rationalize this risky act of obedience, to not risk my life.

Is this what many of us do? Do we decided, "that can't be God so I don't have to do that". Does our fear of man our weight our love for God? It does, for many. I'd like to say that I am not one to let the fear of man interfere with my love for God, but, this is probably not always so. I have, on many occasions, done some pretty weird stuff for God, but how many times have I refused His call.

I don't hesitate like I use to. But, I wonder all many times I have missed the mark. Usually, God speaks to me in such a done that I know I have to move. But, there have been times when I have, probably, made the mistake of writing off His words as my own.

People have asked me, "What if it is not God telling you to do something and it is your own thoughts?" My response has always been, "If it is not harmful, than it is good. You do it anyways."

My example, for myself, I have written of before. I was sitting in an office, full of people and God told me to go and tell this woman, that I did not know. that He loved her.

I said, "I don't think so."

God repeated, "Go tell her I love her."

My new response was "Uh, No."

Then He changed His tone, "GO TELL HER I LOVE HER."

I got up real quick and went over to sit down next to her. She was turned away from me, so I touched her hand. When she looked at me she had tears in her eyes. I told her, "I don't know you, but God told me to tell you He loves you." She began to cry more and said to me, "I'm a Christian, but, I was thinking about killing myself."

I hesitated, I argued, I was fearful. I suppose just like Ananias. But, unlike, Ananias, I was not risking my life. How sold out am I. If I would argue over such a small thing, what would be my response to the big things. I have always wanted to be like Enoch, now I see, I need to be like Ananias first.

By the by, This young man has started a Christian Discussion forum. It has just started and if you like some stimulating discussion "Come on Down".

Monday, January 7, 2008

Alignment of Spirit and Mind

Because of the benefit of steroids, I got to go to church yesterday. Felt great to gather together with my spiritual brothers and sisters. To be around the love that flows from them is to walk into peace. I know that there is always, in every church, the problems that come from being human, but all in all, a good church is a place of worship and love.

When I first got to church, I found a supernatural friend and told her of my Lupus flare. I wanted prayer and did not have to ask. She prayed. The spirit of God came on me so hard that I wept and lost all my makeup that I had decorated my face with. Her prayers went deep into my spirit. Her love for me was overwhelming and I walked away with assurance that God is my champion.

We broke up early and those that the pastor had asked to do small groups went to our decorated table and waited to meet people and have them sign up for our groups. People flocked around, ate our cookies and shared. While my husband and I stood at our table, the woman at the table next to us, ask me if I'd pray for her back. It had been hurting for weeks. So I prayed, while my husband took care of the table.

But, then another friend made her way over to our table. She was casual, asking me how I was doing, listening to my reply, showing concern, lending an ear. But, that was not the real reason she came over. I am amazed as I write this that she put my needs in front of her own, because her need was great. That is love.

When I shut up about my own problems and asked her how she was, my demeanor took a drastic turn. She told me that she had been robbed at gun point by three men. I felt confusion come over me. This can't be right, I thought. Then I started to get into her head and I could see it happening.

I saw her beside her car, putting bags in through the door. A white car pulls up and blocks her in. Three men get out, one has a sawed off shot gun. They surround her and get very close. The one with the gun, puts it under her chin. They want her purse and bags.

While I am seeing this, she is talking. "I can't sleep at night. These men are out on bond." I start to feel her fear. "Last night, a car pulled up in front of my house. A man got out and smoked a cigarette and I was so afraid." Her fear was overwhelming. But, now, my feelings of fear have turned to anger.

Oh, I was mad. This was wrong. So wrong. I could feel the spirit in me rising up against the evil of this world and wanting to scream. She was asking for prayer and I was more than willing to get out of me what the spirit wanted to pray. I grabbed her by the back of the neck and pulled her to me. We stood there and prayed for a long time.

My spirit had a lot to say, my flesh wanted to hurt someone. Specifically, three men. But, I noticed that my prayer was peaceful and calm. Not at all how I felt in my flesh or what I thought my spirit was feeling. The prayer was full of love and compassion. Speaking peace over her and healing of emotions.

I heard myself telling her that her feet were surrounded by the cloud of God and that every step she took was on the path that He had for her. She was under His protection. That there was a wall of power that kept her from harm and that she would be able to sleep and this would all be resolved to His liking.

Not at all what I wanted to say. I wanted these guy's to burn in hell. I wanted to shout to the spirit realm for revenge. Oh, to get one's mind and spirit into alignment. Thank you God, that you speak through me and I have learned how to shut myself up. There was several hundred people in the room, I was ready to gather up the force and find these guys. Can you tell I'm from the streets. Still got some stinking thinking.

But, isn't it amazing how God uses us, even when we still have that rough edge. I think of Peter. His mouth would just go off and he reacted instead of thinking things through. That is me at times. But, God refined Peter and he continues to refine me as well. If we allow God to work through us and in us, great changes follow. This is part of being a peculiar people. Not being led by our emotions, but led by the spirit of God.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

To let you know

Ok, I have bared my soul on this blog. I have told you just about everything about me and intend to continue to do so. But, I want to tell you something new about me so you will know where I am at.

I have just been diagnosed with secondary Sjogren's. The Sjogren's has come about because I have relapsed into Lupus.

When I got the word about relapse, friends said "it's an attack." But, this just did not seem right to me. It did not ring true in my spirit. I knew they meant well and it would look that way, but, I just could not agree

Then, last night, a dear friend, whom I am connected to spiritually, Daily Spirit, wrote to me. When I was sharing with her that this had happened she got a word from God. The word was "test". This rang true in my spirit. A Test.

At this time, I have no idea what the test is about. God usually lets you go through it before you discover the test. But, I will walk this out the best I can. Leaning on Him, loving Him, seeking Him, communing with Him.

Some would say, that God would never create such a thing, but, I know that not to be true. I have seen many a trail from God and they usually are not pretty. Remember, God once told me "You look upon something, with your finite mind, and see ugly. Then you determine that that work is of Satan. How dare you. How do you know that it is not my hand at work". So, it is not always pretty. And of course, a trial is never nice, so why do we think that a sickness could not be a trial.

Anyways, I start steroids today. Short term is what the doctor said, knowing how I feel about steroids. I have started another blog that will focus on the Lupus. I do not know yet, what lies ahead of me. But I do know, from my past experience with Lupus, that God continues to speak to me and give me strength. So, I will continue to relay to you, dear reader, the visions, dreams and words that our loving God gives to me.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Spirit of my Spirit

Genesis 2:23
And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

I was reading another blog when God started to speak to me through this verse. Grasping what He is saying is a bit skewed, but, I will try.

When God put Adam to sleep and made Eve...He was born again. Or, created again. By the by, this would mean that genetic marking would go back to Adam not Eve as some have purposed.

If Adam was born again through the creation of Eve, than when we are born again, God looks down upon us and speaks, "spirit of my spirit: I will call her good spear". Or "bringer of Light" or "warrior".

We are first born of the flesh into the spear of the natural. Then when we receive Christ we become born again. We have all heard of being born again. For most this means we become a new creature in Christ. True. But, God is saying that has Eve became the new genetic example of Adam, when we becomes followers of Christ, we become the new genetic example of God. That the spirit within us comes alive, begins to reign in us and this is the genetic code of God that comes alive in us.. born again.

I'm not saying we are God. Not at all. What I am saying is that we are "God Like". We become like Him. We know that Christ did not begin to walk in the miracles of God until He received the Holy Ghost. That He needed to be born again of the Father. The apostles were the same. They followed the Lord, but until that day of Pentecost, they were not born of the Spirit, they did not walk in the miracles of God. It was when they became "Spirit of my Spirit" that they began to walk in the things of God.

We are all born with a piece of God in us...our spirit. This spirit knows God and creates the yearning for Him within us. But, our flesh does not get it. It wonders around aimlessly looking for purpose. When your spirit and your mind come into alignment, then is when you become one with God and take on His genetic example.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Healing of the Non-believer

It has been said, in Christian circles, that a non-believer can not be healed. I find this very disturbing and limiting of our God. Plus, I have seen non-believers healed.

I was at a graduation ceremony for a class at my church years ago. A man came to see his son graduate. This man was an atheist and was deaf. He had been deaf since birth. Several of the women, that were there, asked this man if they could pray healing over him. Now, I'm not sure why this man said "yes", but he did. They began to pray and soon I heard a lot of celebration going on. This man received his hearing and instantly became of believer.

Randy Clark, an incredible man of God, takes groups of trained Christians to Muslim countries and prays healing over people in the name of Jesus Christ. He tells, the non-believer, that they will be healed by the name of Jesus Christ. When they are healed, he reinforces, that the healing comes from Christ and they are saved by the same name.

There is never a reason to limit our God. He can and will do anything. Do we, as Christians, believe that God's grace and mercy is just for us, the believer. Aren't we all, believer and non-believer, children of the Most High. Again, this thinking isolates Christianity to the few.

I met a woman who stands outside of pharmacies and asks everyone who comes out if she can pray for their ailment. She does not ask first, "are you a Christian."? She doesn't ask this and then pass over those who may say "No. I am a pagan." She prays for all who want to receive.

To choose who you pray for and who you don't based on your decisions, is basing God's will on yours. We need to be listening too and obeying the call of God. Of course, if He says not to pray, we don't. But, most of the time, God is waiting for someone to pray.

There is no better witness to the glory of God than a miracle. The non-believer who is healed, by the name of Jesus is a walking miracle. This walking miracle is a testimony to the healing power, glory and blessing of our Lord Jesus Christ. This walking miracle will bring others to believe in the power of God. There is no better a witness.

This all takes us back to the exclusiveness of Christianity. Again, we find ourselves excluding people. This exclusion hurts and isolates us from the people who need God the most. Our idea that a non-believer does not deserve or will not receive healing sets us apart as more important to God and more deserving. I suggest that this is judgement and a sin.

Christ is for all and we should stop our limiting His love by our own judgments. Instead, we should be giving Jesus to everyone. Offering up, to all, the healing, love, power and salvation of the true and living God.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

My Nose

God has begun talking to me about faith.

Luke 12:28
If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and tomorrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith?

"O ye of little faith?" Notice it is a question, not a statement. "Why do you have such small belief?" or "Why do you not see the nose on you face.?"

If you look you will see you have a nose on your face and if you look you will see God.

Do you believe that you have a nose on your face? Does your belief that you have a nose on your face make it so or is your nose just there.....because? Do you trust that your nose will be there tomorrow, do you believe that it will continue to function or do you doubt that it will be there tomorrow and believe that someday it will stop the work it was created for. Do you blame your nose when things smell bad and then take credit for yourself when things are good? Do you let your nose lead you to the good stuff and turn you from the bad?

Such amazing faith we have in our noses. Some, I realize, have malfunctioning noses. They lack in ability, so our faith in our nose lacks. It is a weak nose.

Our nose, at times, gets attacked and becomes clogged with the things of this earth. At, these times, we move under our own ideas of what is bad or good. Oh, we know we need our nose back, but, for a time, we need to lean on our own understanding. Sometimes, our nose may leak - slowly loose fluid- one drip at a time. We run for the Kleenex, a man made devise, to aide in our misery. Somehow, in all this malfunctioning, I still believe that the nose on my face, will never leave me and will operate again in the matter that it is suppose to. I never find fault with my nose for its noncooperation with my needs. My faith in my nose endures.

When you are under attack from the things of this world, do you think that God has left you? If your nose does not leave you, when it is under attack, than surely God has not left you. He is not malfunctioning. He is right beside you. You are the one not calling upon Him for endurance, reassurance nor strength. Instead, like the Kleenex, we reach for the things of man for answers.

When I get angry, do I cut off my nose to spite my face. I would hope not. But, many cut God off when they can not understand the things of God. They choose to be angry with God instead of looking to Him for answers

"Oh ye of little faith". Do we have as much faith in God as we have in our noses. Do we know that He will always be there? Or do we doubt because he is not as clear as the nose on our face. I suggest that we not only draw near to God but, that we draw God near to us. If we want to see God,we need to be near to God. Everyday,we should be seeing God in everything. After all, He is in everything. Talk to Him. Ask Him to show you Himself. Pull Him closer.

My first response, to the things and attacks of this world, should be, to call upon my God. The God of truth. To believe, that he is faithful to walk out His purpose. And to understand, deep within me, that without my nose (God) I am not complete. I am missing an important part of me. Without God, I am not whole. Without, my faith that He makes me whole, I am not functioning to my full potential and am not going to be able to complete my role on this earth.