Yesterday was church and with the aide of steroids, I got to go. This physical set back "ain't going to get me down". I was excited about church. I just felt such a hunger to be among my brothers and sisters.
As soon as we got inside of the door, a friend came up and asked if I'd pray healing over a woman who was visiting. My ego, I guess, got in the way, because when we walk over to her there was a ground of folks around her getting ready to pray. I thought, it was just my friend and I that were praying. This threw me. I didn't know any of these people and know that I see, hear and feel different from most folks, soooo, it threw me. To top it off, my friend, who asked me to pray, walked off.
The woman wanting prayer, was in a wheel chair and very frail. She had an attendant with her who introduced her and said that she had just entered hospice. Everyone, just stared at her for a minute. It was an uncomfortable moment. I was waiting for someone, a leader, to take the lead. I'm assuming that's what the others were waiting for. I know that I'm a leader, but, I continue to try and keep a low profile there at the church. When prayer began, I was not sure what to do.
This woman is going to die. It is her time. So, as I listened to the prayers I could see that these were not the prayers that she needed. It was not the time for healing prayer, she needed prayer for fear, despair and guilt. She needed to know that God will call her to Himself.
I listened to the commands of healing in the name of Jesus Christ and watched this woman's face. She cried so very hard but, the look on her face was more of a "please". I realized, that she did not know what it was she really needed. She, of course, wants to live, but she also knows her fate. She is desperately needing and wanting to have that reassurance that God will never leave her.
So, while they were praying, I knelt down beside her, took her hand and began to cry with her. The love of God had come on me and my body was becoming overwhelmed by His power. I felt separated from the others. It was just her and I alone. I could here them, but not feel them.
So, I ministered to her in the way that I know God wanted her to be ministered too. I feel like I came short of what He wanted, but I did what I could. I, also, think I may have interrupted someone and for that I am sorry. I can just be so impulsive sometimes. Like I said, I could hear the others, but not feel them. It was just me and this woman.
I told her that God knows what it is that concerns her. That she was living in despair and fear. This is not were God wants her and that she needed to understand that God is for her not against her. "He is with you now and forever." Then I could see that she goes to a place in her imagination that gives her peace. I told her that when she goes to her private dream and plays in the grass that she should sing to the Lord. He showed me that through her song He would bring peace to her. I shared that God's healing for her today, was in her heart.
She listened to me and nodded. Then a man, I did not know, prayed healing again, in the name of Jesus. I, however, continued to feel her despair. We all went back to our seats and she ended up across the aisle from me. Throughout the entire service I could feel her despair. My flesh wanted to do more but, God had said what He needed to say and I was done. It was a hard service for me.
I have a question, that maybe you, the reader, can answer or maybe it will come from God. What happens to those prayers that are misguided. I know that God hears the compassion behind them and that these prayers are not meant for harm but, do they fall on hallow ground or shallow ground.
I believe that this kind of jumping before God is why so many think that God does not hear their prayers. He hears, its just that they are not praying with what God is doing. So, for them it looks and feels like God is against them. We really need to do what the Father is doing.
I pray for this woman. I pray that she hears what God was saying to her and finds peace.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Posted by Given55 at 4:57 AM