Friday, August 29, 2008

My Children

All of my children are in one place for the first time in years.

I watch the interaction and see how they have changed. Once they were mine, now they are the worlds.

One is making his way back to Christ. The others believe, but are, at this time, choosing to be of the world.

The one returning to God, is an alcoholic. He has suffered a great deal. But, yesterday got married to a very nice girl and today is sober. Being the oldest, he sees what the others have done with their lives, in the physical, and knows he has wasted precious time in his life.

The other, of my children, see that time is short, but the seduction of the world is to much and they continue to walk in the flesh. On one level I understand this, on another I do not.

I, myself, once being an atheist, I see how easy it is to fall under the curse of the world. But, I did not know nor understand the Word of God. They, my children, do know the Word. So, it does baffle me a bit.

This is a time in history when it is not good to ignore the things of God. I asked God the other day, how soon is the coming of our Lord. His response was only "Nigh". Soon. Vague as this answer was, I know that even a "Nigh" is a warning.

Towards the Light
So, I pray for my children. I want them to walk towards the light. The three that walk away instead of towards can, at this time, only see the nose on their faces. Their view of the spiritual things of life are blurred and I can only pray that their vision improve.

If only we could give those who are walking that thin line a pair of spiritual glasses.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

To Busy

Life is so busy. It is difficult to find the time to sit and focus on Jesus. So, I fall back on the discipline of catching every thought to the obedience of God.

Staying focused on God in the business of our minds can be a enormous task. It can become frustrating and overwhelming. We begin to tell ourselves that communing with God twenty four hours a day is impossible and then give up. But, I tell you that it is not impossible and in this age, we need to practice finding God in everything.

For myself, there is just no way that, at this time, I can sit down and just wait or meditate on the Lord. So, I have found that I can be with God and know I am with God 24/7.

Through the discipline of catching every thought I have found that I praise God or pray constantly in the back of my head. It is like a second thought, that lies beneath the thoughts throughout the day. These thoughts have become a natural process throughout my day.

I can hear myself praising God while I talk to others or concentrate on a project. This has become a habit, a natural part of my thinking process. It helps me to stay in intimate contact with my Lord. It brings me peace and strength.

I began this discipline by making sure that my thoughts were on the Lord. I would make a conscious effort to only think of God. When I would find my thoughts moving away from God, I would quickly bring them back to God. It took many months of concentrated effort to have this discipline become a part of my everyday life, but the outcome of that effort is incredible.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Generational Gifts

Are spiritual gifts inherited? I am seeing this in my life and family.

All my sons have seen into the spirit realm. Two have been spoke to by demons and had to deal with them on some level.

My daughter, however, dreams. She claims to not be a believer, but does believe in the signs of the end of days. I suppose this is hard to dispute with all that is going on. The dreams that God gives her are prophetic. They speak of things to come. Most of the times, she does not remember the dream or puts it on the back burner for later examination.

She has, however, over the last few years, had a recurring dream. In the dream, she is on our farm. Her oldest brother is there, I suppose you could say he was guarding the area. A woman arrives on a horse and she is pregnant. My daughter helps her to deliver the child and the woman dies. The dream then skips to the future and my daughter is raising the child. In the dream, my daughter knows the name of the child, which I will say only starts with a M.

This dream comes and goes with my daughter and has concerned her for a while. Then the other night, while I was minding my own business, God suddenly spoke to me about the dream. I was in a vision and saw the face of the woman on the horse. I recognized the face, as someone close to me. I tried to remember my daughters dream, but could not recall it in its entirety. So, I jumped up and called her. I asked questions. In my vision the woman has black hair. My daughter stated that the child had black hair. Then the kicker, the name of the child is the same has the woman in the dream.

This person has just come into our family. I have asked God, if He gave this dream to my daughter so we could pray against this event. I got no clear answer. So, like Jesus, I am praying that if He would, would He take this from our family. But not my will, but His will be done.

Friday, August 22, 2008

"Must I Lord"

Romans 7:20

Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

This verse came to me while I was doing something that I did not want to do, but God wanted me to do it.

So, the words get turned around a bit, and it is for the spiritual good, but for me it feels bad.

Sometimes, God asks us to do something and it just feels bad. It may hurt someone or cause a rift between people. but in the grand scheme of things, in the spiritual realm, it is for the better good.

When we can not see what God is doing, we just must have blind faith and walk in obedience. To follow God is not always an easy road. By far, it is full of tangles and dangerous turns. But, we need to come to the difficult stance that, "I will only do what I see my Father doing." That can be a difficult stance.

Our flesh cringes at the request from God to step out of our comfort zone and break into anothers comfort zone. We plead with God for another way. "Must I Lord? Can there not be another way?" But, His way is the right way and the only way. So, in our discomfort and with our finite minds, we have to and need to have trust that God has a plan and even if we can not see it, we need to walk out what God is telling us to do.

Maybe, in this life, we will not see the results of what God has asked us to do. Or maybe we will be granted that favor. But, the most important thing is no matter what it is, or no matter how bad it feels, if God is commanding it, we must complete the task.
His ways are mysterious.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Watching God

It is so awesome to watch God's hand at work.

I read a post this morning by The Light in the Woods, and was reminded of what God had once done for me.

I was living on our farm and would have to drive 60 miles to work everyday. On this day, I got into my car, turned it on and the air bag light was flashing. I decided to ignore it and go on. But, half way down my 1/4 mile drive way, the light started to nag at me. So, I backed up and went into my house and got my car manual.

It took a while for me to find that this light flashing was an indication of any number of problems. None of which meant much. So, I turned my car back on. The flashing light was no longer flashing.

our God
I drove onto the highway and about half way to work, I came upon a horrible wreck. There were four cars and a semi crashed together. Traffic was backed up and people were killed in the crash. As I sat waiting to get by the crash, I began to pray for those injured when I realized that God had stalled me at home with that flashing light, so I would not be a part of this wreck.

I was grateful and praise and thanked God for His love. He is my protection.

I believe that God is in everything that I do. So, if I become puzzles about something that is going on, I always ask God "What are you doing?" He in His majesty, always answers. Seeing what God is doing and knowing that He is in everything gives me comfort.
God is a mystery, but if you commune with Him always, praise Him constantly and stay in the Word, He will show you those mysteries.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Being Relentless

Satan seems to be working overtime, as of late.

In the last week, I have had two women flee to my house from their husbands. Another, woman, called for emotional support, as she had just called the police to have her husband picked up for abuse.

All three women and husbands are serious followers of our Lord Jesus Christ. All three events were brought around by drugs and or alcohol. All three are still struggling. One, the wife, is also bound up by drugs.

We can easily see that Satan has a hand in these marriages. We know the story, "Satan is trying to kill me." "Satan is trying to destroy my life." etc. But, sometimes, those quit being the whole truth and instead become an easy excuse for our own choices.

The post I wrote last was a word from God that spoke of "being relentless". I had a dream the other night and in the dream I was chasing God. He was in front of me, running, and I was just behind Him, running. I could not catch Him. I was so close, but could not quite get to Him. But, I was relentless in my pursuit.

Being relentless keeps my eyes on God. I can not look to the left or the right. To drugs or to alcohol. Because if I do take my eyes off of my object of pursuit, I will fall, stumble, lose sight of my God.

I grew tired in my dream. When the fatigue set in, I could have, by choice, stopped or slowed down. Then, my eyes will begin to take in the world that is around me. My pursuit, might, take on a whole new look and track. Feeling fatigued and resting I see what the world has to offer and just might, by choice, take those things to pursue, instead of God. After all, the things of the world are easily gotten, easily seen, easily excused away.
Now, with my eyes off of God, I can easily excuse my new behavior away by saying Satan made me do it. And in some respects this is true, but not entirely. We hold a great deal of responsibility in our fall from grace. We have chosen to quit our pursuit of God. We have chosen to take our eyes off of the Living God and put them on death. We have chosen to disgrace God and lift ourselves on high.

In these end times, we certainly need to be relentless. Satan is working overtime, in that I am sure. But, we are victorious over the things of Satan and the only way we can fall prey to Satan's schemes is by making a choice to turn to him instead of God. We play an important role in the fight for our soul's, it is a role of choice. Satan does not get all the glory for the misstep of God's people.

So, I can either be relentless in my pursuit of God or I can be relentless in my pursuit of drugs, alcohol, sex, crime, food etc. I can either say "no" to the things of this earth, or I can say 'Yes" to God. It is easy to get caught up in the things of this world, but once you do, you need to take responsibility for that and fight your way back to the one who loves you. In your fighting, BE RELENTLESS.

Friday, August 15, 2008

A Word from God

I got this word from God last Saturday night.

"I can not come, because you, my people, hold yourself in reserve.

Reach deep inside of yourself and find your reservation. Heal from those things that reserve, delay and subdue your worship.

You have not abandonment, because of your reserve. These are the things that keep you from the temple of my heart.

Be relentless in your search for freedom. Invite my hand to crush those things that keep you from the truth and free worship.


Monday, August 11, 2008

When Love is not Enough

Sometimes love is not enough. And with that you continue to love, although your heart may become a bit sore, wounded and a bit lost, your love always goes on.

There are forces in this world that can take a person and rip them to the core. As we watch these forces at work, in the ones we love, we try to help and love them. But, love, sometimes, is not enough.

It is like the love of God. He has given the ultimate love, by laying down His life and yet, in some of our lives, that love is not enough. We look at that great love and want more. We stand at the edge of that supreme love and say "give me more. Because, there is something lacking in the way I feel, so it must be you, God. You are just not enough".
When love is not enough, where do we go? When we do not make God the totality of our lives, where do we go? When we come face to face with the flesh and it rises up to take control, where do we run? If not love, then what?

For most, they will run deeper into the flesh. Letting go of those things we know to be right, lovely and true. Love can no longer hold us, because we have not given love complete entry into our souls. So, we become lost in the abyss of darkness. Our self centeredness guiding the way into the strongholds of life. We become of this world instead of not of this world. We start to become entrenched in the things that oppose love and then love is never enough.

"The truth will set you free" until you put yourself above God and say to yourself, "love is not enough". "I will take care of my own needs, I will seek the power in me and overcome, I can lead myself into victory." Love is, certainly, lost in this thinking and with love lost, we become alone. Even in a crowd, we are alone. Because, we have lost our first love and have rejected the love of others.
colorful ray under sea
The definition of love becomes convoluted and benign. There is no power behind a self centered love. A love that casts away others and draws us into the dark recesses of our own minds. This is when love is not enough. Love is not enough when I take my eyes off of the one who created love and put them on the one who demands and abuses love. Ourselves.

Thursday, August 7, 2008


I have a visitor in my home. It is a dear friend, whom fell back into the grip of addiction. She will be staying with us for a few days, going through detox and trying to figure out what to do next.

She is devoted to her God. The same God that I worship. She walks in gifts of prophesy and healing. Yet, has fallen into the dark and now is trying to crawl her way back.

When I look at her, I can easily see her pain, guilt and shame, but, there is more I see and more that needs to be taken care of.

We pray, often, together and yesterday she ask me to go with her to the basement so she could wail and wail she did. She had hold of my hands and while praying I had to take bone crushing pain as she squeezed my hands. She prayed hard. Screaming at Satan, weeping to her God and then when I started to pray a demon began to come out.

She spit and gagged a bit while this demon was removed by God. Freedom was at hand and God delivered her.

But, as time went on, I became more and more aware that my house was full of demons. Everywhere I looked I would see the truth. The truth showed up everywhere. Demons to the right of me and demons to the left. I have not called out for them to leave as of yet, because I want to know exactly what God wants from me on this issue.
So, I bind them and gag them, so that they are not bothering myself, family, nor my friend. It is obvious that these things came into my home with my friend and that they are following her, so I need to seek God on what He would have me do. I do not want to just run them off and they lay in wait for my friend to come back out of my house. The Lord would not do that, so I will wait upon the Lord, for His timing, His wisdom and His love.
gods love
Meantime, I sit and watch the craziness unfold in the spirit realm and hang onto the fact that for "Me and my house, we serve the Lord". Waiting and watching what God is doing and having the assurance that God will lead me to the right place, at the right time, to deliver my friend from this torment.

Update on health....Pain

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Dear Reader

I know that my posts have become sporadic as of late and it my stay that way for a while I have been ill for quite a while. Monday we found out why.

Since last December, I have just come up with all kinds of complaints. Doctors could not find out what was going on. I get ill whenever I eat. Although I do not lose weight from this because I retain water so bad. Last week we thought I had been bitten by a spider, but turned out not to be so.

Smiling Pig
Then last Saturday, I had a flare up of Fibromyalgia. I had to go to bed and just wait it out. By, Monday, still sick my husband took me to the doctor. The doctor looked at the spider bite and told us both that I had a staph infection. Looks like I have had it a long time. It has gotten into my lymph nodes and is spreading from lymph node to lymph node, showing up on my skin as a boil.

This needs to be taken care of this week, because my husband is on strike and our insurance only lasts till Friday. So, the doctor is attacking the staph aggressively and I am on multiple medicine's.

To celebrate, still no lupus. I remain free of the disease that God healed me from and yet fall prey to other things.
I looked to the Lord for my assurance of healing and no damage from the staph. I look forward to my healing and to no longer feeling bad. God's timing is wonderful, because one more week and I would have not been able to seek medical help. Although, my husband would have forced me to go, I would not have wanted to because of the loss of insurance. But, God is taking care of me and I will, finally, be back on my feet.

So, my friends, my posts, still may be sporadic for a while. With illness and a husband under foot my schedule fulls under chaos and I just go with the flow. I pray for all my readers and ask for your prayers as i recover.

Friday, August 1, 2008


I am suppose to speak to a group of women at my church in a few weeks. Not knowing exactly what to speak about, I have been in prayer. But, I saw an email that went out to the women leaders of this group that said I would be speaking on being peculiar and doing a inner healing on the entire group of listeners.

So, there you have it. Prayer answered.

I started thinking, how do these two things relate. I sat down and started writing and realized the connection is great.

Most of the Christian people are not peculiar. They appear to be like everyone else. It is very hard, in a crowd, to pick out the Christian from anyone else. Why?

So, here is the focus of my speech. We are not peculiar because we have unresolved issues that lie inside of us that hold us back. These issues have to do with perception. This perception includes how we see our selves and worry about how others will see us.

Fear of man and fear of self. We fear of making a fool of ourselves. Finding the issues inside of ourselves that creates this fear will have to be the next step.

What kind of issues are there that create such fear? To name a few:

I was told to not make a fool out of myself.

As a child, I was hurt, emotionally, every time I tried to express myself.

Told, "what will the neighbors think" when I look different.

Came to believe all the above.

All these words and deeds not only keep us from being peculiar, they also, keep us from pure worship. We stifle the desire to fall to our knees, bow before the Lord or dance with the joy of the Lord.
We are called peculiar seven time in the Bible.

Exodus 19:5
Now therefore, if ye will obey my voice indeed, and keep my covenant, then ye shall be a peculiar treasure unto me above all people: for all the earth is mine:

Deuteronomy 14:2
For thou art an holy people unto the LORD thy God, and the LORD hath chosen thee to be a peculiar people unto himself, above all the nations that are upon the earth.

Deuteronomy 26:18
And the LORD hath avouched thee this day to be his peculiar people, as he hath promised thee, and that thou shouldest keep all his commandments;

Psalm 135:4
For the LORD hath chosen Jacob unto himself, and Israel for his peculiar treasure.

Ecclesiastes 2:8
I gathered me also silver and gold, and the peculiar treasure of kings and of the provinces: I gat me men singers and women singers, and the delights of the sons of men, as musical instruments, and that of all sorts.

Titus 2:14
Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.

1 Peter 2:9
But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light

Even though God calls us peculiar we ignore that call. We concentrate on other things that God has called us and leave this one alone. We, has Christians, need to find a place of freedom inside of ourselves, that brings freedom to be a peculiar people.