Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Claim You Winnings

Life is full of winning and losing. It would seem that every aspect of our lives is about one or the other. I suppose I have always seen life as a game because, I have always said "I am not as survivor, I am a victor".

The word survivor has always, seemed to me, to have a negative connotation. It is good to survive....don't get me wrong. But, it is wrong to always see ones self as a survivor instead of changing that thinking, eventually too, I live in victory. If I am continually surviving, I have not conquered my ordeal.

Salvation is a gift from God. Not one to believe, once saved always saved, I see keeping my salvation as being a winner.

Someone whispered to me the other day, in their moment of torment, that they were going to lose their salvation. Life is never simple, but we must pick sides. To either be on the winning side or the losing side. Black or white, right or wrong, truth or the lie.

I have a brother, whom once was on the winning side. He praised God. Was born again and now walks around losing the game. He has chose to change sides. He sees my side as losing.

It is, at times, harder to be on the winning side. Victory never comes easy. One must keep the mentality of striving. You can see this thinking in any game. In baseball for example. The side that is winning has an attitude of security. But, the challenger keeps up the pressure and one false move on the part of the winning team and all can be lose. So, the pressure is always on.
Staying on the winning side of life, brings challenges. The losing side is always after the winning side. The winners must stay alert and cautious. Salvation is not to be toyed with. Satan and the world views are always waiting for a mis-step so they can have the victory. Like baseball, there is a winner and a loser. Like war, which is what we are in, there is a victor and a loser. What is your mentality? Are you a victor? Or do you survive?
Living in victory bring joy and a assurity of the outcome of the game. A victor knows that they will win where a survivor has no such assurance. As Christians we should know that victory is ours and that each battle we fight is ours. It is already won. But, if I am in survival mode, then I am lazy in my thinking, tired and stuck. Walk out of survival and claim victory over life and the games that tear you down. Life is to short to just survive. Find the attitude of victory and claim you winnings.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Fall from Grace

Sometimes it feels as if you can only watch as Satan grabs and destroys. He sneaks up on people and steals their joy, love and their very life. His tactics are subtle at times and we can be in the arms of his evil before it is recognized and then we have to start to fight our way back to the security of God.

Why do good people, people who love God and worship Him with their lives, succumb to his evil plans? Are we not alert enough? Are we not truly following the plans that God has for us? Where does it all go wrong?

The temptations of the world, I suppose, can come upon us and we lose our grip on God. But, that seems such an easy answer. You could say, that people who fall into sin were truly never saved. But, that would be a way of alleviating the chance of my own fall from grace. We have all heard the excuses and causes of believers falling from grace, but, right now, for me, it is all just that, an excuse. Where in lies the truth? Why do God's beloved children turn from His very presence and instead choose to do evil?

It seems to me, to be such a foreign thing, turning from God. To deliberately create a situation in my life where I fall into the arms of hell. But, I have learned this weekend, that thinking that one could never choose evil over God, after knowing Him in an intimate way, is an unsafe way of thinking. I have seen the righteous fall from grace and I find it all to much of a slippery slope.

How easy it can be to move closer to Satan and further from God? Pretty easy. It does not even take much thinking. Suddenly, their you are following the one who destroys life and leaving the one who gives life. Does not matter the years of knowing God, nor the depth nor intensity of that relationship disaster can come. As day turns to night, the light of God begins to fade. The call into a life of darkness begins to control our every thought and soon the voice of God fades into the darkness of that long cold night.

I struggle with the whys in life. I see the righteous fall into the darkness and I weep, I wail, I feel the pain of God and I scream, I intercede, I fall on my face. My tears dry up and I feel lost. Not understanding how a life so abundant in the Lord can suddenly be controlled by the dark. Are we really so vulnerable to the evil of this world? Can all our lives be, in the twinkling of an eye, swallowed up by the schemes of Satan?
But, why? Where is our strength? Why do we walk away from our refuge? What is it in us that would choose to leave glory and walk into doom? I break inside whenever I think of our vulnerability. Do not delude yourself and think "I could never walk into darkness". The dark is only one thought away.

Friday, July 25, 2008

"Your Name is Holy"

Last night in my community group, we sang the song "Your Holy Name".

You are the sovereign "I Am"
Your name is Holy

You are the pure spotless Lamb
Your name is Holy

You are the Almighty One
Your name is Holy

Your are the Christ, God's own son
Your name is Holy

In Your name there is mercy for sin
There is safety within, in Your Holy name

In your name there is strength to remain
To stand in spite of pain

in Your Holy name

I was so very moved by this song. It felt like an answer to my thoughts on yesterday's post. In the post I had told of lying to bring peace to a situation and how this lie had haunted me since. This song says 'There is mercy from sin'. This, of course, is something that I already knew, but hearing it last night brought relief and love to my heart.
God is good. All the time.

Thursday, July 24, 2008


Matthew 5:9

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

I was called a peacemaker once, but does being a peacemaker include lying to accomplish the peace?

I was in a meeting, it was more of a confrontation over a woman's behavior in the church. I sat there with the woman, the Pastor and his wife.

I do not remember what I said, but it set off a bomb. I, in my stupidity, did not think it a big thing, but it turned out to be huge. I was repeating something that the Pastor's wife had said to me.

She denied that she had said this to me. I was taken off guard. She was lying and I was at a loss. The meeting got weird then. She went into a rage and the Pastor did not try to control the room. I watched her freak out and wondered at what I was suppose to do.

This went on for quite a while. She gave a defensive speech and we listened. Then she asked me if I still stood by what I said. I said "yes". And off she went again.

Still, I did not know how to calm the situation. I felt like I had to tell the truth, but this problem was not going to resolve itself and no one else in the room was trying to step in.

My thoughts went to, "you are going to have to swallow this one". But, how? If I lie, I am in sin. If I keep telling the truth, this woman is going to have a heart attack.

So, I made a decision and while asking forgiveness in my head, I said out loud, "I'm sorry. I must be mistaken. Will you forgive me."
heart attack
Everything stopped with those lying words. She forgave me, knowing she had done the deed, and calmed down. The confrontation moved over to the other woman.

I felt terrible and a bit confused. I lost a lot of respect for the Pastor's wife, the Pastor, and felt I had disrespected God. I deliberately sinned.

I was told later that this was being a peacemaker. I am sure that most peacemaking experiences do not include a lie. But, I saw no other way out. So, I confess publicly that I have sinned and have come short of the glory of God. For this I am sorry and have asked forgiveness from God.

I have felt pain over this ever since. It comes up in my mind every now and then and again I repent. Perhaps it is Satan who brings it up in my mind, but my shame remains. I know that my Father has forgiven me. But, my sadness over my lack of ability to resolve this problem without a lie, continues to take a toll on me and bring me to my knees.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

My Mothers Voice

I hesitate writing this one because of feed back. But, one can not say anything that I have not heard before. I have been called everything. I want to share because it brings up the scripture in the bible:

I Thessalonians 4:16

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.

The other night my brother, Only in His Service, whom lives with me, came down the stairs excited. He told me he heard a voice. That the voice had told him something personal. Then he asked me to guess whose voice it was. Of course, I had no idea. He was so excited. He then told me it was our mothers voice, who had died in April.

I got excited myself. Wanting so badly to be with my mother, I felt wonderful.

We went into the living room and told my husband. Now, my brother is not as supernatural as I am, but since living with me, is coming into his own. So, a conversation started.

First, my mother had a similar experience when I was about 17 years of age. Her and I were visiting her father in Kentucky. Her mother had past away a while back and her father was showing the first symptoms of Alzheimer's. He was constantly talking to his dead wife. One night, while we were visiting, my mother had gone to sleep with a terrible headache. In a dream she heard her mothers voice. The voice said that when she woke, she would see her dead mother and her head ache would leave. When she woke, there was her mother and her head ache left.

That event was shared in our conversation. We then went to, how can this be? I, of course, in all the supernatural things that have happened to me, did not really care, how this could happen, but became curious. How can this line up with the Word of God?
The verse quoted at the top of this page came up. Since my thoughts on the rapture are, "I hope there is one, but I do not see it in the Bible", I have always wondered at this verse. My brother, who believes totally in the rapture, had a new thought on this verse. He suggested that perhaps we linger here on this earth. That we wait here for the Lord. This began to make sense to me.

In my life, I have seen many dead people. I do not know why I have this gift, but it happens now and then. I see them in their earthly body. I recognized them and know what they want. I do not talked to them because the Bible tells me not to. But, there is a kind of communication, because I always, supernaturally, know what they want. Which is usually comfort for someone.

So, if we linger, why would we not see them or hear them. The spirit realm is alive and active. There is good and evil just like in the realm that we live in. I do not have all the answers, but I know that it is very possible that the dead linger, waiting for that wonderful day of the return of our Lord Jesus Christ.
scotts picture
I am happy. Just like when I see the dead and it brings comfort to someone, my brother hearing our mothers voice has comforted me. It brings me joy to know that she is near. My mother loved Jesus and waits for His presence as I wait for His return. I look forward to that day, when, we are all together in the presence of the Lord Almighty.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Prophesy "Walk in the Realm of the Supernatural"

From Diane Mourey

Walk in the Realm of the Supernatural
prophecy by Diana Mourey at the altar of Ignited Church, 06/2008

Can you take hold of the supernatural, asks your God? Can you take hold and believe you walk in the realm of the supernatural? Can you take hold and believe indeed I will come forth on of those who call upon me?

Even as you have called upon me, I will come forth, and I will come forth on a white horse, saith God. I will come forth and it will be with a sword indeed in the realm of the supernatural and they will see, for their eyes will be opened. For I've heard your heart cry and I've seen your tears. I've heard your intercession.

I have felt compassion, saith God, for this generation, saith God. For this is the generation that will rise up and walk in the supernatural realm, and they shall see and they shall hear and they shall move with God and they shall do exploits, exploits, exploits, exploits, exploits, exploits, exploits, exploits, exploits, exploits, exploits, exploits shall cover the earth in this hour. For this is my generation; these are my youth; this is that of which I have spoken of in times past, and you shall see it happen.

So yes, be comforted; be comforted in this hour. Be comforted; be comforted; be comforted in this hour, for you shall see with your own eyes that which I am establishing and you shall see it come forth even as your heart has desired it.

I am lifting up a supernatural standard on their behalf. Yes, you have heard of and you have seen those who are dying and who have lost their lives needlessly, but know this: I am standing in the gap for my little ones. I am standing in the gap, saith God. It is time; it is time; it is time and the enemy shall be put on the run.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Help with Understanding

I am not sure how to say what is on my mind today. Some may find what I am about to write alarming or insulting, but I suppose since I am looking for answers, I am putting this out there hoping that someone will have thoughts on what I am about to write.

I will try not to ramble here, but I hesitate getting to the subject, so bare with me.

Whenever I do a inner healing, on someone, God guides me through. He gives me words, visions, pictures, whatever is needed to help the person find healing. I have done hundreds of inner healings over the years and God has always shown up.

When I started doing inner healings, often I would get a picture, in my mind, that was.....well....vulgar. These pictures would disturb me and I would shake my head and try to get rid of it. The picture...I thought...was some kind of sickness inside of me. That somehow, I was, for some reason, pulling up these pictures from my subconscious. I felt dirty, less than and just plain wrong.

Persistence of vision
These pictures were basically the same. Always...excuse me...always, the private parts of a person. I did not understand why this was happening to me nor how to stop it. I had repented, looked deep inside myself, and prayed against it. But, there it would come again. It only happened to me during an inner healing.

I am very good at letting things go. So, after a while, I would just keep going, knowing that this was going to happen and I'd better just ask forgiveness and go on. Then revelation happened this weekend. This is were my confusion comes in.

They say that confusion is of Satan. That is true, so I am asking you, dear reader, if you have an answer to this confusion.

I had an inner healing this weekend. Sure enough, the picture showed up. But, this time, it was very vivid and I saw a close up of a sex act. I thought that we were getting close to being done. But, I knew, at that moment that there was something else and it was big. Suddenly my eyes were open and I could see this huge demon in the room.
color confusion_full
I was undone. I got up and was trying to get away from the picture in my mind. I can not remember what I said except that maybe there was more. I was walking away, still trying to escape, when out of the mouth of the one having the inner healing comes exactly what I am seeing. I cringed. Actually, I was shivering and wanting to vomit.

She continued to speak and tell about horrible things that had happened to her. The picture began to subside. I sat back down and called for a break to speak to the person assisting me. All in all the woman, having the inner healing, was set free.

As you can see, my confusion is in why would God show me such pictures? It is absolutely from God. The pictures lead me to the place I need to go for the healing of the person. But, the pictures feel pornographic. I recoil at them. I would like to make a deal with God and ask that He would show me a picture of a rose instead and then I would know what that meant.
My mind reels at the lack of understanding of why it is important for me to see such pictures. It all seems contradictory to what God is and what He stands for. Some would say, this is not of God. But, I know that it is. Without the pictures freedom, for the person wanting healing, would not be complete. So, dear reader, what do you think?

Friday, July 18, 2008

Close to God

I have always taught, that before you pray healing over someone, one needs to ask God if healing is what He wants.

The Word of God states, that we are to lay hands on the sick and pray healing. But, for myself, God has told me numerous times that healing pray is not what He wants prayed or that the person being prayed over is going to pass over and healing prayer is not called for. In those times I listened to God and prayed what He told me to pray.

So, it became a habit of mine to listen to God before praying healing over a person, so that I am only doing what I see my Father doing.

Last night was different. My small group went over to visit with a friend who has Lou Gehrig's disease. She can no longer go to church, so the church goes to her. It was difficult to see her. She has lost way to much weight and can no longer eat nor speak.

She loves for small groups to come and worship at her home. While we were worshiping we sang a song, that I can not remember the name of, that had the words about a perfect gift. This made me think of what a perfect gift healing is. So, I spoke for a moment on healing being a perfect gift and we began to pray over her.

I listened for God to tell me what to do, but heard nothing. Confused that He was not answering me, I did not know what to do. But, I began to hear my own voice and what I had just spoke about. The laying on of hands and how that is what we are suppose to do according to the word of God. So, without the Lords usual guidance, I let myself be led by His Word.

I listened to the prayers of others and my heart began to melt with compassion. The room was full of the love of God. So, I prayed healing over her and she began to weep. It was so very difficult to watch, yet impossible not to minister to her.
Then God began to speak to me. He showed me her torment. She wants to communicate with us and be herself. This torments her. So, I began to speak to her about what God was showing me. That this is a special time for her. That she is so close to God. God himself is enjoying their communication. God is really the only one she can communicate with, now, in a full and meaningful conversation. He is always there beside her and loving their time together.

It is beautiful. When we look at Lou Gehrig's disease we see the horrible affects on the body. The mind trapped inside of a body loosing it functioning. But, in the spirit, their is beauty. For this woman, who knows the Lord so personally, it has become a thing of beauty. She is with her God. I would like to think that I am with God, but God showed me last night how much I miss the mark. She, this woman, in her disease, is with God.

They commune, her and God, on a level that surpasses anything I have ever encountered. There is no where for her to go except to her God. Her and God have built such an intimate relationship that it surpasses anything I have ever seen. She would like nothing more than to be healed, but she has accomplished something, in her illness, that is rare. A closeness to God, that can only be reached when we are shut up inside of our selves.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Demon On His Shoulder


God had me tell a young man, a while back, that he had a demon on his shoulder. Now, I see demons on people quit often, but usually do not tell a person. But, this time was different. The young man and I had a long conversation and he decided he was not ready to get rid of this demon.

Our conversation went well. We did not discuss where the demon cane from or what gave it the right to be there. But, we did talk about freedom and God's will for him. When I left him, we were friendly towards each other and hugged goodbye.

After that, every time I would see this man, he would turn his eyes from me. I asked his wife what was up with him. I felt that he knew that I knew what the demon was about. Which I did. He was addicted to pain medication. His wife told me that he was afraid of me. His fear was because, he was sure, I knew everything about everybody. My response to that comment was "Boy, that would be horrible." When I told her to tell him this was not the way it was. She said, she would rather him think that I do know everything about everybody. She felt it would make him more conscious of his behavior.
So, for the last year, this man has been afraid of me. I, intentionally would, every time I would have the opportunity, say "Hello" to him. My intention was to try and brake the ice with him. But, when I would say "Hello" he would lower his head and give me a weak "hello" back.

I felt bad about what was going on. I wanted him to be free from the oppression and from the fear of myself. I wondered at why God would have me tell this man about the demon if he would do nothing about it. What is the purpose in all this. I did not like seeing his torment time after time.

Last Sunday night when I was prophesying at the graduation, he was in attendance. I saw him before it started, but kept my distance. There wa a moment in the graduation when I laid hands on a man and God filled him with the spirit of God and he was slain. He fell to the ground and laid there for a while.

After graduation, I found myself standing next to the man who is afraid of me. I said, "Hello". I expected the usual timid response. But, what I got threw me off balance. He turned right at me and said, with joy in his voice, "I knew he was going to fall down. As soon as you touched him. I knew it."
Wow!! I was so stunned, I think I might have just stared at him. Then he said, "I got that demon off my shoulder." Then he just talked and talked. He told me what the demon was and how he was free from medication. That he still hurt physically but was free emotionally and spiritually. I said very little. There was little time to say anything because he had so much to say. I was awed.

Incredible is all I could think. When he left me, I looked at his wife. "He still thinks you know everything." is what she said to me. "But, he thinks, now, it is for the good."

Well, I do not know everything, but that idea helped this man. It took a year for him to get free, but God's timing is everything. I celebrate this mans freedom, it is glorious to see his joy. You never know what God is doing, but it always turns out wonderful.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

God's Timing

I am the sort of person that does not believe that there a thing called time. I know that for God there is no such thing as time, so it would go hand in hand that there is no such thing as time for us. I believe that everything happens together in God's plan and that the concept of time, that we are under, is for the benefit of us.

Within that concept of time, that God has laid out for us, God's timing is everything. The last few months I have watched that concept, God's timing, as it moved me right into where He wanted me.

As, most readers know, I went through a battle with depression. While there, I had little to do. My phone might ring, but it was not as often as usual and my appointments were far less often. The needs of people for my giftings where not called upon as usual.

My depression was over my mother passing away. While she was with us it was difficult for me to work in my giftings because she was in my home and her needs good, at times, be great.

Just when I came out of my depression, suddenly my phone begins to ring and my calendar is booked. His timing is everything.
Sunday night, while at the graduation. I touched a woman on the back. As soon as I did, I had a vision. I saw her being thrown around a room by her husband. I watched the vision wondering what I was to do with it. It was not an appropriate time to speak to her and would she want to hear what I was seeing.

I was torn. Knowing that she needed help and also knowing that God's timing is everything. Sometimes the things God shows me is a burden.

So, I went on about my business and finished the graduation. When I went to leave, I saw her walking down the hall and said goodbye. She asked me to wait. "Do you do spiritual healing?" She asked. I responded with "yes".

She told me that she had been trying to call me, but that my phone does not work. Had to explain that for some reason, if you call me and I am on the phone, my phone will hang up on you or tell you I am not taking your calls. Is that not crazy. Anyways, as we stepped outside of the church, she asked if she could come and see me.
A young and beautiful woman. She is as tall as I am, which is tall. Eye to eye we stood, looking deep into those port holes to the soul. "Let me tell you why you want to come see me." I said. I then told her of the vision I had.

Her response was to continue to stare into my eyes. "Am I right?" I asked. She said "Yes". "Of course I will meet with you". I responded. She was relieved and went on her way. I watched her walk off thinking how God had brought me though so much to ready me to go back to service in His work.
Our God is an Awesome God MP
So, my schedule as, again, become packed. The needs of God's people are great and heart felt. I watched as God's timing brings them to me and thank God that He has gifted me with helps. As I watched them heal and grow I praise God that He uses me and I thank God for His power and mercy. Without Him, none of this is possible.

Monday, July 14, 2008

The Weekend

So much happened this weekend, that I do not know where to start. So, I suppose I will recount to you, dear reader, the events in order.

Several of my readers witnessed this first event. My small group went to see Joe Jordan on Friday night. He is called the minister of joy. This is because people have a tendency to get drunk in the Spirit when he is around. I have seen him several times before and it is true, people do get drunk in the Spirit when he is around.

He always starts out with a little sermonette before he starts a healing line. I do not know why, but before he was even finished with the sermonette, I felt the Spirit of God fall on me. There I was minding my own business and wham, I started to smile. I covered my mouth not wanting Joe Jordan to see me beginning to laugh. I know that if he sees this he will come to you, lay hands on you and make it worse. So, I am sitting there wanting to laugh, but being very much in control, but beginning to feel a bit drunk.

Then, a friend, sitting in back of me, leans over and asks me how I am feeling. I turned and looked at her and busted up laughing. That did it. I was over come with joy and try as I might, I could no longer stifle my laugh nor joy. So, here comes Joe Jordan. I saw him coming and wanted him to go away, but, NO, he laid hands on me and a friend in front of me. I lost it. I don't remember much for a while. I saw my brother, fall to the ground while being prayed over for healing and I remember climbing over a friend and my brother to talk to another friend in the middle of the service. Wow!!! Did I feel good. I wanted to play like a little child, but there was no one to play with.
There was a woman there who started laughing and I believe she must have laughed for 30 minutes. She crawled on the floor and was just having a great time. Every once in a while I would feel calm and then get hit again and bust up laughing. I needed that and I thank God that it happened for I now feel refreshed. It was a supernatural event that God granted me. Thank you God.
The next day, I was suppose to go to a auction with my daughter. That did not happen. I got a call from her that was horrific. Her pit bull dogs had gone crazy in the night and killed 8 of her animals, including my angora goat, who was pregnant. So, I spent Saturday morning dragging dead animals across a field for burial. The three baby pigs that where killed where butchered and the dogs are now gone. It was a brutal massacre. My daughter was so upset and I do not blame her. Other animals where harmed, but looked like they would recover. I found myself praying for the children, but they are such farm kids that they seemed to be little affected by the event. It was carnage. If you would like to leave a word of encouragement for my daughter you can click here.

Sunday night, I was asked to prophesy over a group of men graduating from a Purpose class. One of the men was startling because of the anointing that the Lord has put on him. It was so strong that I wanted to dance, or jump or, I don't know, it was just that the energy of the Lord coming forth from him was so strong that I could not stand still.

He is young, 22 years of age. He will grow bold in the Spirit. The words that will come from his mouth will be truth and light. His past will serve him well in his ministry to drug addicted people. There was so much to say to him but, not enough time. It was a pleasure to be in his presence. I asked him if he had ever been filled with the Holy Spirit. He said "no". I laid hands on him and the Spirit of God came. He was slain in the Spirit and filled with the power of God.
laying hands
After the graduation was over, one of the men that I mentor, came to me with words for the young man. I had him deliver the words and then was asked if I would mentor the young boy who had just been prophesied over. Of course I accepted. It will be wonderful to watch this young man grow.

What a weekend. Seeing, hearing and feeling God. It was wonderful. But, then on the other end, seeing the evil of life. The evil was sandwiched in between God and I am grateful for that. My mind does not have to stay with the pictures of the carnage at my daughters farm. Instead, my mind is focused on the glory of God. The future of His children and His plans. Praise be to God almighty. In the mist of all things man made and evil He reigns.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

The Winds of Change are Upon the Chruch

This prophesy was set to me yesterday. I thought you, my dear reader, would like to read it.

Spoken By Don Franklin

Welcome to the Great Masquerade of God, saith the Lord; welcome to the Great Ball of God, for you have come into this thing one way but you will go back another, saith God. You have been given angelic host, angelic messengers; you have been given mantles and anointings that you even know not of. In the coming days they will begin to flow.

I am bringing interconnections right now with those that have been hidden behind the scenes for years whom I have developed and I am bringing forth. John the Baptist is going to come out of the wilderness screaming at the Church, screaming at the Church, screaming at the Church, saith the Lord. There’s coming a prophetic mantle across the nations where he comes up out of the wilderness and he begins to minister. After three hundred years of silence John will come forth to speak in the coming days.

There will be changes, changes. The winds of change are upon the Church and there’s nothing you can do to stop this. All you can do is begin to flow with it now. Change, change, change is upon the Church worldwide. I’m bringing it back into the End-time Church that I have so long desired. You have no idea how the heart of God desires to see the signs, the wonders, the miracles.

I will burn the dross out of the body of Christ; I will burn out the false prophets; I will burn out the false apostles. I will burn out those who will merchandize my people. They will not be able to stand the refiners fire in the coming days. I will totally burn out those who will merchandize and use my flock, and I will raise up the true apostolic heart, the true prophetic heart – those that will lay their lives down for the sheep.

You are the beginning founding stones for this movement, saith God. It has begun here in this house, in this church, in this city and it is traveling now across the nations, across the world. You cannot stop this; all you can do is begin to flow with it. Rejoice, for the day that you have been looking for has dawned; it has come. Welcome to the kingdom of God. Welcome to the change that is coming upon America.

I’m calling for kingdom connections worldwide. A transfer of wealth has begun; a transfer of wealth has begun; I will pull it out of the hands that have it and I will give it to those who don’t. Even those ministries that have disobeyed me and consumed upon their own lust, I am going to begin to pull it out of them. I’m going to begin to take their support away; I’m going to begin to transfer it to men and women who will do what I want done with the money. I’m going to cut the legs out from some major ministries; you’re going to watch them fall in the coming days. They’re coming down, down, down, saith the Lord, and you are going up, up, up - not only in the realm of the spirit but the realm of the natural.

There is going to be a new walk, a new countenance come upon you. You’re going to walk like men of God; you’re going to talk like men of God; you’re going to walk like ambassadors of my kingdom. People are not going to recognize you in the coming days.


Gone are the robes of the ordinary and here come the robes of the ambassadors of the kingdom of God. Here come the mantles of the delegates of the U.N. You’re going to be men of prominence, men of respect, men of power. Gone will be the bumbling fool and here come the anointed diplomats of God. You watch and see, saith the Lord; you watch and see; you watch and see, saith the Lord.

You do not even believe what you’re hearing now, but you will when it happens, and you will look back and you will say, surely that was the Word of the Lord; surely that was the Word of the Lord.

Arguing With God

Is it ok to argue with God? I sure hope so, because I've been arguing with Him for a long time.

I remember the first time I tried to get out of something. I was working with the severely mentally ill in the community. I'd taken one to see his doctor. Sitting in this crowded waiting room, I saw a woman seating in front of me. Soon as I saw her, I heard God say, "Go tell her I love her." Now, I was not quite as confident as I am now. So my first reaction was, "I don't think so."

I heard Him again. "Go tell her I love her." "I don't know her, I don't want to.." Then in a very strong & forceful voice, God said, "GO TELL HER I LOVE HER!" Up I went.

I was quite timid about going to her. She had her body turned to the side so you could not see her face & she was hunched over. I wasn't real fast about getting there, hoping that her name would be called to see the doctor. I sat down beside her & touched her hand. She turned to look at me with swollen red eyes. The tears were stilling flowing down her face.

I said, "I don't know you, but, God said to tell you He loves you." She gasp & then smiled. "I am a Christian & I was thinking about killing myself. I have felt so alone." I was rather dumb struck at this point. Still a baby in Christ, my wisdom & revelation were in short supply. She thanked me & said that she would be alright now.

A prophet told me not long ago, that God likes it that I argue with Him. This would be a good thing for me, because, I still argue with Him. God has a sense of humor, I've seen it at work. Maybe, He enjoys watching me squirm for a bit. He knows he is going to win. My arguing with the Creator of the Universe is rather futile. He always wins.

My biggest argument has been over my future. He showed me a bit of it & I recoiled. What I saw was not anything I would want in my life. Why would He show me His plan for me, knowing that I would run from it. I believe it was to prepare me & for me to come into a place of acceptance. I'm still running a bit. Satan comes to me & tries to get me to believe that I have made these things up in my head. But, I know the voice of God & I know what I saw in the vision. It would be easier for me to fallen into the trap the Satan continues to try on me, Much easier than following the plans God has laid out for me. But, I will keep my eyes were they belong, catch every thought to the obedience of God & move toward that goal.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008


I met with a woman yesterday, in an emergency counseling session. A friend brought her to me, but our pastor had told them both to seek me out. She was going through with drawls from alcohol and had the shakes bad. She sat in my rocking chair, curled up in a ball.

When asked if she was a Christian, her response was "I don't know."

Hard for me to do Christian counseling with someone who is not a Christian. But, on further questioning I found that she does believe that Jesus Christ is the risen Savior, she has just never been churched. She has no idea what the Bible says and no idea about spiritual things.

I had to watch my tongue around her. Wanting to bring in the supernatural. I thought it would scare her off. But, it was hard and I slipped now and then. She is a woman driven by generational curses. She calms the demonic by drinking. The thoughts she hears are suicidal.

Knowing that Jesus is the risen Savior is just not enough and I needed to teach her enough so that she could make it through the week. So, much to know and so little time.

So, I shared with her that Christianity was not about a group of people. I told her about Enoch and his relationship with God. That this was Christianity. That her relationship with God would be one that is intimacy with God. One on One. This surprised her, but she seemed to understand.

I told her to personalize the Bible and to read the book of John. This she did not understand, so I read a bit of Psalms 91, using her name where it read "I". She like that a lot, but had trouble even understanding the NIV.

I reached for a Bible translation called "The Answer". I, again, read Psalms 91 and she understood. So, I gave her my bible.
Supernaturally, she is covered in demons. They hover over her with an assignment to kill her. When I look at them, it actually looks like one is chewing on her brain. Knawing away her life. God has protected her from death and I prayed more protection over her. Her healing will take time. She is not versed or submerged in the Word of God. She is not spiritual. Does not understand the supernatural. I can not just jump into an inner healing nor a deliverance. She needs to believe. But, she found hope.

I talked to her about her thought life and catching every thought to the obedience of God. Told her to read Psalms 91 and the Book of John. She called me last night to ask some questions and told me she had read Psalms and had personalized it. Her with drawls were bad, but she was hanging in there. I advised her to see her doctor today to get some help with the with drawls.

Where will this end up. I do not know, but I, like her, have hope. She believes in miracles and I told her that she will be a miracle. I pray that the things I said to her hold her in hope. She is in torment and that always breaks my heart. I can not wait to see those demons gone and freedom brought to this child of God.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008


Her name is Virginia. She takes walks in the evening. She is 81 years of age, but looks, at the most 60. On her walks, she use to see my mother sitting on the porch and come up and talk to her. Yesterday, she came up to talk to me.

She ask me, "is your mother gone?"

We spoke of my mother and her death. She was sorry. Virginia is a kind woman. Her heart is always wide open and her spirit is sweet.

Once, she decided to take my mother for a walk. I told her that this may not work out. But, Virginia was determined that my mother needed exercise. So, off they went. They made it one house down from mine and then they turned around and came back. Virginia's comment. "We'll go again next time." She would sit for hours with my mother.

So, yesterday, we sat and talked. It was nice. Her concern and love radiated from her. She shared about her life and children. I was relaxed and enjoying the conversation.

Then she asked if I knew Valerie down around the corner. "Yes, I know her". "Well, she is not home and I have this magazine for her. Do you want it?" She asked.

I looked at the magazine in her hand and then looked up to her face. "Yes. I am a Jehovah Witness." She said. I was stumped. Never would I have expected this one. "Will you read it if I leave it with you?" She asked.

My thoughts were, be totally honest with her. "No, Virginia. I will not read it." I told her. "I do not believe the way you do."

"Well you know, most of us Jehovah Witness come from other churches." She replied. I took this as I could possibly be converted. "Well, I'm charismatic and I would suppose that most of us come from other domination's." I said. She agreed.

I then told her that I was ordained and a Christian counselor and the conversation about religion stopped.

When she left she reached over and hugged me. I accepted the hug knowing that she truly meant it. I watched her walk away with dread and disappointment.
And then the questions came.
Does Virginia walk so that she can convert? Is this her way of going house to house. She sees you on your front porch and makes friends with you and then starts the conversion conversation. WOW!!! What a great technique.

Very few Christians go door to door witnessing any more. What a shame. We seems to keep to ourselves fearing backlash from people. Not wanting to step on toes or insult others we keep our religion to ourselves.

I'm disappointed in where Virginia is at, but admire her courage and plans. I might just try to take a walk tonight and meet some new neighbors.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Praise Be to God

Remember this:

"I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy,

down in my heart.


Down in my heart.


Down in my heart."

Well, that is my song today. I took myself through the soul and spirit tie breaking that you read on my last post and God answered that prayer.

"I feel good.

You knew that I would.

I feel good.

You knew that I would.

So Good, So Good.

I found you."

That was an old song. I certainly have songs on my heart today. God has delivered me from the dark. I praise him for deliverance. He is the great I AM. The Alpha and the Omega. My Father.

When I sit back this week, I can see what God did for me the last two weeks. How his plan for my redemption was laid out and I walked it till I was healed. I fell right into His plans without even looking for His plan. I was led by His power and mercy till I found my healing. Praise be to God.

Thank you for all your prayers, my brothers and sisters in Christ. Your prayers were heard and I am extremely grateful. You lifted me up on high and God led me out of the darkness. Your love heals.
I have energy again and hope. I am focused and I hope reliable. I look forward and not backwards. I see the light again and not the dark. I feel healthy and not sick. I pray and do not weep. God is good.

So, my future is bright because of Him. My hope lies in Him and my focus is on Him.

Thank you God.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

My Prayer

Dear God,

I want to speak of this one more time and I want to write it for my friends to read. They have been walking this out with me and I want them to know that this is the last time I will speak of this.

I woke up praising you this morning and it felt so good. I feel renewed and joyful. You are the great I Am, my Watch Tower, my strength.

I have been so lost and so in the dark. I have missed our intimate time together. My need for you is great as is my love for you. You have gathered me back together. Thank you Lord. Thank you.

Lord, you know my every thought and emotion. Nothing is hidden from you. Search me, Oh Lord, and reveal to me my inner sin so that I may repent and walk closer to you. Protect me from the enemy and myself.

I have over the last few months grieved the loss of my mother. I have lived in regret and guilt. I give those things over to you because they do me no good. They only bring me down and away from my service to you.

I give back to my mother those ungodly things she left with me and I take back, to myself, those things that she stole from me in her abuse. I break the ungodly soul tie with her, but keep the Godly tie. I will live with the memory that she was grateful to be with me at the end of her life and that she loved me. I will stop thinking of what should have been and start remembering the good. I will catch every thought to the obedience of God. You are my strength and my creator.

You sent an angle to me, when my mother was dieing. We shared about your glory and love. You sent friends to me that ministered to me and prayed and sang over my mother. For these things I have never said thank you. So, Lord, now I say thank you. You were there for me in so many ways and never left my side. You are the Almighty God, the Living God, My Rock.

I give you my sorrow, my grief, my anger, my life. I praise you, Lord. I praise you. I pray, Father, that you would heal my body and mind. Bring me to that place, again, where I see only you. Make me whole again. Without you nothing is impossible. You are my light, my energy, my life. Without you I am nothing.

Walk with me, again. Talk with me, again. I am only alive when I am closest to you. Make me new again.

My love for you overflows and my need for you is a hunger within me that needs to be filled. I want to be as Enoch and walk so close to you everyday that I am filled every day with your glory.

I repent from my ways and walk forward to you. Hold me tight in this battle for victory is at hand. I live for you. I would die for you. My future is only in you. I will not fear. I will be victorious.


Wednesday, July 2, 2008


Try has I may to isolate...It does not work!!!

But, I still do not go anywhere.

That will change though.

I had a visitor last night. An old friend whom I had to share my situation with. She emailed me because I have not been answering my phone. So, I told her what I was going through. What does she do....shows up.

We talked for a very long time. We laughed and shared sorrow. We shared victories and challenges. It was good.

But, next thing I know, she has me booked for 4 separate events at the church. I told her it may be like moving a mountain to get me there, but she would not relent. Even stated that I may have to move into her house, one weekend, because she has me so busy.

So, I accepted, but told her I would probably change my mind and not come. The look on her face was one of "oh no you won't". I guess I will go.

One of these events will be me speaking to a group of women. My choice of topics. This is a month away so I have time to prepare. I could bring them all down and talk about depression. Just kidding.

God told me once, pertaining to friends, too choose few and choose wisely. Before I was a Christian I had no friends. I was ok with this...I actually liked it that way. After I became a Christian, I started to have lots of friends. People were everywhere. So, many that I eventually got hurt and that is when God spoke the above to me.
So, I began to choose few and choose wisely. When my mother was ill and past and now that I am going through this season, I have found out why choosing few and choosing wisely is so wise and rewarding.

My few friends have reached out to me with cards, emails, comments on this blog and by just showing up at my home. They have given advise, encouragement and love. They are patient and concerned. All have shown the love of God.

I am so very grateful that God has brought such people into my life. Because, I recognize that without them I would be in deep trouble. They are keeping me afloat with their prayers, visits and encouragement.

Since God foresaw what I would be going through, He put just the right people in my life, at just the right time, to see me through this dark season.

Thank you my friends.