Monday, July 21, 2008

Help with Understanding

I am not sure how to say what is on my mind today. Some may find what I am about to write alarming or insulting, but I suppose since I am looking for answers, I am putting this out there hoping that someone will have thoughts on what I am about to write.

I will try not to ramble here, but I hesitate getting to the subject, so bare with me.

Whenever I do a inner healing, on someone, God guides me through. He gives me words, visions, pictures, whatever is needed to help the person find healing. I have done hundreds of inner healings over the years and God has always shown up.

When I started doing inner healings, often I would get a picture, in my mind, that was.....well....vulgar. These pictures would disturb me and I would shake my head and try to get rid of it. The picture...I thought...was some kind of sickness inside of me. That somehow, I was, for some reason, pulling up these pictures from my subconscious. I felt dirty, less than and just plain wrong.

Persistence of vision
These pictures were basically the same. Always...excuse me...always, the private parts of a person. I did not understand why this was happening to me nor how to stop it. I had repented, looked deep inside myself, and prayed against it. But, there it would come again. It only happened to me during an inner healing.

I am very good at letting things go. So, after a while, I would just keep going, knowing that this was going to happen and I'd better just ask forgiveness and go on. Then revelation happened this weekend. This is were my confusion comes in.

They say that confusion is of Satan. That is true, so I am asking you, dear reader, if you have an answer to this confusion.

I had an inner healing this weekend. Sure enough, the picture showed up. But, this time, it was very vivid and I saw a close up of a sex act. I thought that we were getting close to being done. But, I knew, at that moment that there was something else and it was big. Suddenly my eyes were open and I could see this huge demon in the room.
color confusion_full
I was undone. I got up and was trying to get away from the picture in my mind. I can not remember what I said except that maybe there was more. I was walking away, still trying to escape, when out of the mouth of the one having the inner healing comes exactly what I am seeing. I cringed. Actually, I was shivering and wanting to vomit.

She continued to speak and tell about horrible things that had happened to her. The picture began to subside. I sat back down and called for a break to speak to the person assisting me. All in all the woman, having the inner healing, was set free.

As you can see, my confusion is in why would God show me such pictures? It is absolutely from God. The pictures lead me to the place I need to go for the healing of the person. But, the pictures feel pornographic. I recoil at them. I would like to make a deal with God and ask that He would show me a picture of a rose instead and then I would know what that meant.
My mind reels at the lack of understanding of why it is important for me to see such pictures. It all seems contradictory to what God is and what He stands for. Some would say, this is not of God. But, I know that it is. Without the pictures freedom, for the person wanting healing, would not be complete. So, dear reader, what do you think?


Sandra Cobb said...

I have just discovered your blog and am enjoying your posts. The first thing that came to my mind is that the rose is too perfect and sacred to be symbolic of such evil acts. The rose is also associated with Mary and other religious symbolism. I have no further thoughts at the moment, except to say that maybe another image, or even a scene from a book, movie, etc. could be used as a symbol that God would relate to you.

Sandra Cobb said...

Turns out I do have another thought or two. Ask for grace to get through the visualization more quickly and without revulsion.

I believe that these revelations - although from God - could also provide an avenue for the enemy to interfere with the healing by attacking you with negative and ungodly feelings.

Given55 said...


good advise. Thank you. My brother suggests that the image needs to be startling so I will not miss it. I suppose I will just let it go.

Anonymous said...

Well, I would rebuke those thoughts/images away from me in Jesus' name. They are a distraction.
I would then pray the Blood of Jesus over my thoughts/visions. Asking the Lord to give me the Mind of Christ in all things. That is a good Bible study=what does it mean to have the mind of Christ....

Given55 said...

Thanks Daisy Cat,

I'll see what I can do about the mind of Christ. I'll pray for a while on it and see what God says.