I am not sure how to say what is on my mind today. Some may find what I am about to write alarming or insulting, but I suppose since I am looking for answers, I am putting this out there hoping that someone will have thoughts on what I am about to write.
I will try not to ramble here, but I hesitate getting to the subject, so bare with me.
Whenever I do a inner healing, on someone, God guides me through. He gives me words, visions, pictures, whatever is needed to help the person find healing. I have done hundreds of inner healings over the years and God has always shown up.
When I started doing inner healings, often I would get a picture, in my mind, that was.....well....vulgar. These pictures would disturb me and I would shake my head and try to get rid of it. The picture...I thought...was some kind of sickness inside of me. That somehow, I was, for some reason, pulling up these pictures from my subconscious. I felt dirty, less than and just plain wrong.
I am very good at letting things go. So, after a while, I would just keep going, knowing that this was going to happen and I'd better just ask forgiveness and go on. Then revelation happened this weekend. This is were my confusion comes in.
They say that confusion is of Satan. That is true, so I am asking you, dear reader, if you have an answer to this confusion.
I had an inner healing this weekend. Sure enough, the picture showed up. But, this time, it was very vivid and I saw a close up of a sex act. I thought that we were getting close to being done. But, I knew, at that moment that there was something else and it was big. Suddenly my eyes were open and I could see this huge demon in the room.
She continued to speak and tell about horrible things that had happened to her. The picture began to subside. I sat back down and called for a break to speak to the person assisting me. All in all the woman, having the inner healing, was set free.
As you can see, my confusion is in why would God show me such pictures? It is absolutely from God. The pictures lead me to the place I need to go for the healing of the person. But, the pictures feel pornographic. I recoil at them. I would like to make a deal with God and ask that He would show me a picture of a rose instead and then I would know what that meant.