BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND TWITTER BACKGROUNDS

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Anger


I, mostly, have been sitting in my home for several weeks. I have had a couple of counseling appointments and did take a road trip with my daughter. I sit and wait for God to bring me a word or notion that will help me walk out of this depression.

Last night, I could not sleep. I have slept for 2 days and last night nothing. But, while trying to sleep I heard from God. He told me, "You love your mother but you are angry with her". I was glad to hear from God and thanked Him but, I am not sure what to do with that.

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It makes sense to me that I am angry with her. Forgiveness does not mean that all those feelings suddenly go away. So, I must contend with my anger. So, what to do with anger. Giving it to God is easier said than done. I would suppose the next question would be "do I want to get rid of my anger"? One would think that I would, but I have certainly held onto it for a lot of years. I then would say, that it has become familiar to me and since I have intimate relationship with this anger, I probably do not want to say goodbye to it.

So, there in lies the root of my depression. My mother is gone and I have nothing left to continue to be angry with. Another sad situation that I have gotten myself in.
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I have made a decision this week. I will live out the rest of my life has healthy and happy has I can. So, that means I will give up bad habits and eat healthy. Well, has healthy has I can with the price of food right now. This decision was made this weekend while I laid around in pain. Then God brings me a word that truly fits my decision.

Working on giving up my anger is a challenge. First, I did not realize I was angry. But, it makes sense. Second, I do not know how I will accomplish this. But, I will focus and try. God gave me the word so I could be set free and I will be free indeed. Praise God for his mercy.

2 comments:

FishHawk said...

One of the more wonderful things about being made so abundantly aware of the fact that our Heavenly Father really is more responsible for our actions than what I had been taught is how much easier it now is to forgive those who have done me wrong. For how can I justify being so angry with them when it may very well be that what they did was not entirely (nor even partially) their fault??? On a more personal note: this has certainly helped me to find some peace about the relationship that I had with my own parents.

Given55 said...

Fishhawk.

Thank you for the encouragement and advise. I do appreciate it.