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Thursday, July 24, 2008

Peacemaker


Matthew 5:9

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

I was called a peacemaker once, but does being a peacemaker include lying to accomplish the peace?

I was in a meeting, it was more of a confrontation over a woman's behavior in the church. I sat there with the woman, the Pastor and his wife.

I do not remember what I said, but it set off a bomb. I, in my stupidity, did not think it a big thing, but it turned out to be huge. I was repeating something that the Pastor's wife had said to me.

She denied that she had said this to me. I was taken off guard. She was lying and I was at a loss. The meeting got weird then. She went into a rage and the Pastor did not try to control the room. I watched her freak out and wondered at what I was suppose to do.

peace
This went on for quite a while. She gave a defensive speech and we listened. Then she asked me if I still stood by what I said. I said "yes". And off she went again.

Still, I did not know how to calm the situation. I felt like I had to tell the truth, but this problem was not going to resolve itself and no one else in the room was trying to step in.

My thoughts went to, "you are going to have to swallow this one". But, how? If I lie, I am in sin. If I keep telling the truth, this woman is going to have a heart attack.

So, I made a decision and while asking forgiveness in my head, I said out loud, "I'm sorry. I must be mistaken. Will you forgive me."
heart attack
Everything stopped with those lying words. She forgave me, knowing she had done the deed, and calmed down. The confrontation moved over to the other woman.

I felt terrible and a bit confused. I lost a lot of respect for the Pastor's wife, the Pastor, and felt I had disrespected God. I deliberately sinned.

I was told later that this was being a peacemaker. I am sure that most peacemaking experiences do not include a lie. But, I saw no other way out. So, I confess publicly that I have sinned and have come short of the glory of God. For this I am sorry and have asked forgiveness from God.

I have felt pain over this ever since. It comes up in my mind every now and then and again I repent. Perhaps it is Satan who brings it up in my mind, but my shame remains. I know that my Father has forgiven me. But, my sadness over my lack of ability to resolve this problem without a lie, continues to take a toll on me and bring me to my knees.

4 comments:

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Daily Spirit said...

This was just one big power play and I too am disappointed that the pastor or his wife didn't intervene.

I don't know what I would have done in that instant, but whatever I had done, I'd do my best to let it go after that.

My very best.

Anonymous said...

Lying is still of the devil -- not part of God's plan.

And since the woman was "flying off the handle" I would say she new she was guilty of lying.

But arguing is not the answer either, Peacemaker -- leave the scene...with a "sorry I upset you but that is what I heard" instead of using mistaken. Mistaken, means she made you look like you lied. Proverbs 16:7 & 20

Also since I am so full of wisdom today... tame the tongue, disciplne it, I have a problem with my mouth and inserting foot.
Prov 21:23

Love in the Lord -- Marcia