Monday, January 7, 2008

Alignment of Spirit and Mind

Because of the benefit of steroids, I got to go to church yesterday. Felt great to gather together with my spiritual brothers and sisters. To be around the love that flows from them is to walk into peace. I know that there is always, in every church, the problems that come from being human, but all in all, a good church is a place of worship and love.

When I first got to church, I found a supernatural friend and told her of my Lupus flare. I wanted prayer and did not have to ask. She prayed. The spirit of God came on me so hard that I wept and lost all my makeup that I had decorated my face with. Her prayers went deep into my spirit. Her love for me was overwhelming and I walked away with assurance that God is my champion.

We broke up early and those that the pastor had asked to do small groups went to our decorated table and waited to meet people and have them sign up for our groups. People flocked around, ate our cookies and shared. While my husband and I stood at our table, the woman at the table next to us, ask me if I'd pray for her back. It had been hurting for weeks. So I prayed, while my husband took care of the table.

But, then another friend made her way over to our table. She was casual, asking me how I was doing, listening to my reply, showing concern, lending an ear. But, that was not the real reason she came over. I am amazed as I write this that she put my needs in front of her own, because her need was great. That is love.

When I shut up about my own problems and asked her how she was, my demeanor took a drastic turn. She told me that she had been robbed at gun point by three men. I felt confusion come over me. This can't be right, I thought. Then I started to get into her head and I could see it happening.

I saw her beside her car, putting bags in through the door. A white car pulls up and blocks her in. Three men get out, one has a sawed off shot gun. They surround her and get very close. The one with the gun, puts it under her chin. They want her purse and bags.

While I am seeing this, she is talking. "I can't sleep at night. These men are out on bond." I start to feel her fear. "Last night, a car pulled up in front of my house. A man got out and smoked a cigarette and I was so afraid." Her fear was overwhelming. But, now, my feelings of fear have turned to anger.

Oh, I was mad. This was wrong. So wrong. I could feel the spirit in me rising up against the evil of this world and wanting to scream. She was asking for prayer and I was more than willing to get out of me what the spirit wanted to pray. I grabbed her by the back of the neck and pulled her to me. We stood there and prayed for a long time.

My spirit had a lot to say, my flesh wanted to hurt someone. Specifically, three men. But, I noticed that my prayer was peaceful and calm. Not at all how I felt in my flesh or what I thought my spirit was feeling. The prayer was full of love and compassion. Speaking peace over her and healing of emotions.

I heard myself telling her that her feet were surrounded by the cloud of God and that every step she took was on the path that He had for her. She was under His protection. That there was a wall of power that kept her from harm and that she would be able to sleep and this would all be resolved to His liking.

Not at all what I wanted to say. I wanted these guy's to burn in hell. I wanted to shout to the spirit realm for revenge. Oh, to get one's mind and spirit into alignment. Thank you God, that you speak through me and I have learned how to shut myself up. There was several hundred people in the room, I was ready to gather up the force and find these guys. Can you tell I'm from the streets. Still got some stinking thinking.

But, isn't it amazing how God uses us, even when we still have that rough edge. I think of Peter. His mouth would just go off and he reacted instead of thinking things through. That is me at times. But, God refined Peter and he continues to refine me as well. If we allow God to work through us and in us, great changes follow. This is part of being a peculiar people. Not being led by our emotions, but led by the spirit of God.