I do not know what to write. My life has become very uncertain. So, I lean on the promises of God.
I am learning a lot. God is teaching me about His mysteries. There is much that I need to learn, so I have taken my body into a fast. In my fast, I am expecting more spiritual truths to be unfolded before my eyes.
I watch as the spiritual realm wars for our souls. I watch and see that we, humans give up easily to the threat from the evil one. I see how easily we are deceived and how easily we blame others for our problems.
Distorted, as my reality has becomes, I hold on to God while He walks me through this time of revelation. Knowing that "Jesus wins" in the end, I hold onto that victory and look the enemy straight in the eyes. Those eyes do not bring me into fear, just into more questions that I wait for the Lord to answer.
This is not a lesson that I would have signed up for. I only stay in the lesson because of God. It would be easy to just walk away from this and drive it deep into the recesses of my mind. But, I can not walk away from what God has, for me, no matter how uncomfortable it may be.
I wait, holding onto all the advise, but waiting. I fast and prayer waiting for the Lord to give me revelation. He alone holds the key to the door of knowledge. He alone will show me the way to the truth and the light. I wait upon the Lord.