Thursday, September 18, 2008

Roller Coaster

I seem to be on a roller coaster with God. I happen to be sitting in the front seat. The person in the front seat, is the one first surprised by all the dips and turns, and then warns the people in the back by their screams. That would be me. Hanging on for dear life as God and I whip around this life with me surprised and screaming at every turn.

But, most of the time, my warnings go out and reach deaf ears. I am not talking about prophetic warnings just wisdom with life warnings.

For myself. I have ridden that roller coaster for years and there are still curves that surprise me and I will take the curve by being jostled all the way. I just do not learn some of life's lessons. I know that is the definition of insanity. And it is a bit insane to keep looking for different outcomes by going through the same thing the same way.

I have, however, learned that every time I revisit the same old curve, I learn more about myself and ways to keep myself safe. Sometimes we just keep walking into the same old pain because a deep need in us still has not been met. So, without thinking, we hit the same old curve and again the pain of being jostled grows inside of us.
Will I take the curve the same way next time around. Probably, YES. Why? Because, I have still not learned that God will take care of that need. Instead, I just jump into the curve and then after the pain has subsided, then, I remember that God can ease me into that curve and take it, oh... so.... much easier.


Bluebirdy said...

Hi sis, it seems very strange coincidence that we both have lupus and both wrote about our life being like a roller coaster this year. I keep telling you how alike we think...well now its just getting spooky. lol. prayers and blessings,