My community group met last night and one could tell there was something wrong.
During praise and worship you could feel it in the air. I thought that maybe it was because one member was not there. That thought made me sad, thinking that we relied on one person to get the Spirit of God moving. Then I thought, maybe it is me with my state of mind. I decided that whatever it was I was just going to keep on keeping on.
I had a vision, shared it and prayed over the woman that the vision was for. But, the group was rather stand offish and I was the only one who laid hands on her. This confused me a bit, because these people are always ready to lay hands on each other. So, I continued and we watched the DVD that is provided by the church.
I looked back and repeated "Shame?" A very mature Christian was standing in the far back corner of my dinning room replying back to me "Yes, shame." What a strange answer, I thought. So, I asked "How is shame a motivator?"
We prayed for him and gave words of knowledge etc. The group was more responsive to his needs than they had been to others earlier. But, while praying for him, I saw a spirit of defensiveness rise up in him, so I bound it up. Before this he was not receiving what we were praying or saying. It was a real battle to minister to him.
It was suggested to him that he get an inner healing, which is something that I do for people. He said, "Don't you have to be retentive to do that kind of thing." He shared that he was not sure that he wanted to repent from certain things in his life.
It was getting late by this time and we began to break up to go home.
While he was leaving, my son had a word for him. They were talking in the front yard when I stepped out to say good-bye. He started to ask questions about inner healings. He told me that there were certain things that he would never admit to a human being, so he felt that an inner healing would not work for him. I shared that there are certain things that are between him and God and it is not anyone else's business. I did not share with him that I already knew what his secret was.
I decided to let him know that I knew these things by giving examples of other people that had gone through inner healings and had the same issues. That opened him up. It gave him permission to speak openly. That thing on him began to weaken. Praise the Lord.
His reason for not wanting to repent is that these issues have been with him since he was a child and no matter what ministry he goes to or how hard he prays they always comes back. He feels hopeless.
It is a sad thing to see someone so low and with such a strong feeling of helplessness. He has resolved within himself that this is the way it is. But, that resolve is not of God. He has been lied to over and over again, by these things that oppress him. This has been going on for so long that he believes the lies. He is comfortable with these things and yet sees the sin in them and wants reprieve. He knows that this state of confusion is not of God, but feels that to repent is useless.