Why I May Hesitate

Daily Spirit made a comment on "What a weekend" that I would like to respond to here. She wrote in part "I don't know why it feels that you don't consider yourself as obedient as you could be." I don't mean for it to come across that I question my obedience, I do however, try to keep certain things in check.

Before my addiction (see post "Repentance"), I found myself in a situation, in my church, that I allowed to continue. I was not aware of what was happening or I would have stopped it. I was still to immature to understand.

My church is rather large. Two services to handle the crowd. I was on staff as a counselor and ran some of the outreach programs. The situation that I want to address is that people began to idolize me. This was incredibly obvious after church service. When the congregation would be dismissed a line would start to form in front of me, people wanting prayer. My husband and myself would be there for quit a long time praying for each one. In my immaturity, it never crossed my mind that people were coming to me instead of first going to God.

After I left the church and recovered from my addiction, I began to have some clarity. I began to realize what had been happening. At one point, I even spoke to a women, asking for forgiveness in the way I left the church. She said to me "I saw you as God." By this point in time I had come to realize this and she was a bit shocked when I told her I had come to understand that. She has never forgiven me.

I am back at my precious church. I walk very carefully now. Making sure that this will not happen again. So, I remind people how dirty I am. How undone I can become. How short I fall from the glory of God. I work very hard at keeping people from making me lofty. I always ask, now, "Have you taken this to God first?" Trying to remind them where their answer really lies.

So, if you feel when you read my blog that there seems to be some kind of hesitancy in my writing, it is because I want you to see God not me. Through writing and not being face to face, I believe it to be easier.

We as Christians often go to people instead of God. We see the God in them and want what they have or expect that they can do, through God, signs and wonders that we, ourselves, can not do. This, of course, is not true. My purpose is to bring light to God's people and one of those lights is to teach Christians that they have the same God in them that I do. We all need to check ourselves for idolatry. It is a sneaky plot by Satan that can show up and seem so innocent.

She does not expect this

Myspace Glitters

Happy birthday my daughter a homesteading neophyte

It has been thirty years since I first laid eyes on you. You were such a surprise. After all, I was the first girl in generations. So, I certainly, did not expect a girl. What a wonderful surprise you were. I hope I have done well by you. I cherished the fact that I had a baby girl.

I know that your adult life has had sorrow. You lost your son and now your father. You, however, have showed great strength in all circumstances. This year you have had to take on more roles than most young women but, you endure with grace. I know how much you must miss your father. Especially, him calling you "Honey, baby, sweets". I can't fill that void in your life, but, I love you and will always be your support, confidante and parent.

You make me proud. You see your dreams and go for them. Life will not pass you by. Keep grabbing for that dream you are making it come true. We talk everyday, we laugh a lot, we share intimacies, and complain about life. I look forward to those calls and to the screams of your children in the background.

These are the best years of your life. Enjoy, take advantage of them, have fun. So many times we take life far to seriously. It is a gift from God and gifts are made to enjoy. You are one of my joys and pleasures. A treasure in my chest of gifts.

Generational Gifts

Exodus 20:5

4-6 No carved gods of any size, shape, or form of anything whatever, whether of things that fly or walk or swim. Don't bow down to them and don't serve them because I am God, your God, and I'm a most jealous God, punishing the children for any sins their parents pass on to them to the third, and yes, even to the fourth generation of those who hate me. But I'm unswervingly loyal to the thousands who love me and keep my commandments.

This verse speaks of generational curses. But, I have been thinking, a lot, lately about generational gifts. My question has been, "Are our gifts handed down from generation to generation?" So, I started examining my own heritage to find out. It only seems logical that if there are generational cruses that there would be generational gifts.

I had an uncle, L.Z. who, I know, saw into the spirit realm. He had an incredibly close relationship with God. He would pace the floor, wringing his hands, praying. While praying, God would start to talk to him and he would respond out loud. This uncle was a righteous man. He was digging a well with his brother. They dug by hand. When they had finished for the day, the other uncle, climbed out of the hole, turned around to help my uncle L.Z. out of the hole. The well began to cave in. My uncle L.Z. stood there in the hole looking to the sky and smiling. They tried to dig him out, but, he died in that hole.

He saw God, in that moment of death. He knew God in such away, that death was welcomed. How remarkable this man of God was in life and in death. His gift of seeing and hearing carried him through.

My brother sees into the spirit realm. He does not talk much about it, but, he has shared a bit with me. He,certainly, sees demons. His childhood was riddled with aberrations. Terrifying as it must have been for him, he never told an adult for fear of the consequences. He knows a bit of the future, but, again keeps these things, mostly, to himself.

My children have gifts and suffer, at times, from attacks because of God's plan for them. They do hold the mark of God on them. My daughter dreams. These dreams, at times, become reality. She is not walking with God. I know, from my own experience, that when she does come to God, that these dreams will magnify.

I have three sons. The oldest has come back to God and is hearing Him like he never has before. It is his time to walk God's path. God has a hold of him in a new way and His gifts are growing. He sees into the spirit realm. Not, at will. But, at God's calling.

My middle son has met God, but, at this time is not worshipping Him. He glows in a "peculiar" way when he is walking with God and there is no stopping him. He, also, has seen into the spirit realm.

My youngest, also, knows God. I know that he reads this blog, so "Hello". He can see also and I know he has heard God. His vision is disrupted right now by his lack of worship, but, he will see more clearly in the future. He is a man of compassion.

So, I believe, I have made my case for generational gifts. The closer we walk with God the more intense these gifts. Those of you who are sensitives or empaths or prophets teach your children well. Gifts from God are for God. Teach your children and their children that these gifts are by the grace of God and to be used to His glory.

Christian Rhetoric

I use to work as a counselor in a drug and alcohol clinic. The clinic had a contract with the Department of Corrections. So, they would get men or women straight out of the penitentiary. Some of these folks had been in prison for a very long time and had their own language. If they were talking to each other, I would have no idea what they were saying. It was a foreign language to me. Even when they talked to me, and toned it down a bit, it still remained foreign.

Thus it is with Christians. They have their own language. Foreign to most, isolating for the Christian and it can cause rejection by the new follower.

When I first became a Christian and started a church, I had no idea what many of the words were that were being said. I was resolute though to my Lord and determined to figure the whole thing out. So, I pretended to know what was being said. I would just figure it all out later.

But, what about the new Christian that is on shaky ground. We, as Christians, need to be careful of what is coming out of our mouths. Things like, "grace", "the God in me", "walk by faith", "repentance", "the evil one","walk", "kingdom of darkness" etc. To us it would seem simple, but, let's take the word "repent". To us it means, to turn your back on and never go back. But, to a nonChristian it may just mean to state "I won't do that anymore". The difference between these two definitions can bring trouble to our new friend.

We, truly, need to be simplifying our vernacular. Christian rhetoric can be misleading, misunderstood, and even harmful. We of course, do not want to hurt anyone, but, in our own way this could be happening. There lies the problem. "Our" own way. Language separates groups. It distinguishes one group from another. To get into that group, to understand that group, you must learn their language. But, as Christians, we need to have a language that is fully understood by all, otherwise, we can not fully fulfil God's plans.

I don't want to leave anyone behind that God is calling. I don't want this to happen, just because I isolated myself with my language and made it hard for people to understand what I am saying. I feel that I would be responsible for that lost soul and the payment for that is to great. I believe that we need to tone it down and talk to the mainstream of people about our God. Talk to them in ways that makes sense to them, not with a high and lofty rhetoric.

Spiritual Air Waves

Hebrews 4:12 (The Message)

12-13God means what he says. What he says goes. His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon's scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey. Nothing and no one is impervious to God's Word. We can't get away from it—no matter what.

"Nothing and no one is impervious to God's word". The key word that I'm going to write about today is "Nothing". This came to me through the I.T.A. method that I wrote about in a past post. The next verse, also, hooks into the information that God transformed in me.

Ephesians 6:17 (The Message)

13-18Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.

"God's Word is an indispensable weapon." This showed me application to what He has been talking to me about.

It may sound paranoid but, they are listening. What I'm getting at, is the spirit realm is listening to what is going on with you. I'm not just talking about the spirits that are near by your being. I'm talking about the air waves of the spirit realm. We, as humans, understand how the sound is carried here in this realm. But, have you given much thought to the air waves of the spirit realm. They are listening.

A few weeks ago I wrote about a woman that I have worked with over the years who is very demonized. (see post: Again Deception) I quit working with this woman because her choices were so bad that I felt I was hurting her more than helping her. Also, those things fought so hard for her not to come and see me that our visit had become sporadic. So, I have not seen or heard from her in about two years.

The day after I posted Again Deception, she calls me. I knew that those air waves had been active and that thing in her had picked up what I was doing. The phone conversation was way to long and full of trivia. I, did however, enjoy the spiritual pandering. That thing inside of her was feeling me out to see what I was truly up too. I, gave no clue. A lot of questions were asked, by her and a lot of evasive answers were given by me.

This happens quite often. Spirits pick up on what your saying and doing. I'm not one for believing that if I say something that the devil picks up on it and what I say will then be implemented. I believe that my faith, obedience and relationship with God keeps me safe. But, I will elaborate on this later.

Another example of the air waves is kind of fun. At least, I found it kind of fun. It unnerved my husband. We were in church. There was a fellow sitting up front who was very oppressed by demons. He was being rather disruptive. His voice was carrying through the church and he couldn't sit still. I grew tired of his interruptions, so under my breath I said "anything that is not of God can not speak". Now we were sitting clear across this church from him. When I said this, he turned his head and looked right at me. He was not happy. It made my husband shimmer in discomfort. But, he shut up. Thank you God.

That thing in him heard, through the spiritual air waves and had to obey the command of the faithful in Our Lord Jesus Christ.

Do not be fearful of this fact. It is just that a fact. A law of the spirit realm. It does not mean that the enemy has authority over you or that the ability to hear you will harm you. It is, however, knowledge. And knowledge is power.

The two verses that I quoted at the beginning of this post show you your powerful weapon to fight all things unseen. The Word of God. "Nothing and no one is impervious to the Word of God". Nothing!! "God's Word is an indispensable weapon". Use your weapon. The Word of God. Speak it into the spirit realm. If they can hear your conversations about the mundane, then they can hear your words of life.

We are at war. A spiritual war that is already won. Walk boldly into that war. You have the greatest weapon ever conceived. Use it and remember.

"I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Jesus Christ our Lord." Romans 8:38

What a Weekend

My weekend. So full off highs and lows. I look back on it and wonder at the lessons. But, I am at a lose on some of what happened.

Friday, I did something that I can not remember ever doing. I went out with a friend to shop for books. The woman I went with is one that I am disciplining. The first thing we did though, was minister to another friend.

The woman I'm disciplining, had a vision. She said that she was praying about the church when she was caught up in a vision. The vision was of another member of the church sweeping, with a broom, the front entrance of the church. When he had swept a while, people started to come in, but, he kept sweeping. I told her that this showed that he had the authority to pray out those things in the church that hindered the growth of the church.

She was so excited that we decided to stop by and tell this man of the vision. He was floored and excited. He told us that he struggles with his purpose. He knows by the meaning of his name that he is to walk in authority and is the keeper of the castle. His words invigorated my disciple. She was so excited with this confirmation. It was a great way to start the day.

I so enjoyed my time with her. I didn't have any intrusion from the spirit realm and just relaxed. It was a gift from God.

Sunday was not so relaxing. My husband and I walked into church and had not got two feet in when my eyes met that of a woman who had a demon oppressing her. She gave me that, all to familiar, look of stay away from me. Truly, I wanted to stay away from her. We went in, sat down and here she comes walking by me giving me that same look.

She sat about five rows in front of us. I looked at her back and God told me that she was very sick. My thoughts went to,"well yea. She's got a demon." God was going to a different area than that, He meant she was physically ill. Very ill. I told my husband "I don't want to do this." I tried other means. I went to a friend during worship, who knows everyone in the church,, and asked her if she knew this woman. My thinking was to get this woman's friends to speak to her, thus avoiding just walking up to her with a word. But, no one knew her.

Our pastor aways asks us to greet someone we don't know. So, I excused myself from my husband and walked over to this woman. I introduced myself and she did the same. I took her hand and told her I had a word from God for her. She gave me a strange look but, said "alright". I told her that God said "Your healing is at hand." She nodded "yes". But, continued to just stared at me. I asked if that meant anything to her and she said it did. "Well, I'll be praying for you." I told her and she said thanks.

I went back to my seat and worshiped my God. After church she came back to me. She said when I came to her she did not know what I could be talking about. But, that during the service she had a pain in her arm that she had not had in a long time. Tendinitis. I reminded her what God had said and again told her I'd be praying for her. When she walked away I stated under my breath, that tendinitis was not it. My husband heard me and said "I agree, it is not tendinitis." We both know that there is an ailment within her that she is unaware of and of course there is that demon.

We went to lunch. This is why people like myself isolate. This is why I don't like to go out. We ordered out food and sat down. It was just a little hamburger joint. In comes a boy, about twenty two years of age. I see him and know that he's goal is to steal. There was no one at the counter so he looks over the counter but, sees nothing to steal so he walks out. But, he comes back in with a friend. This time they are going to order food. While one is ordering, I'm drawn to the other. Suddenly, I'm in his head. He was having the most horrible thoughts about the young woman behind the counter. For myself, a woman, it was rape. No other word for it. He lingered in that thought for what seemed and eternity. I felt violation for the woman.

My relief was great when they sat down behind a partition where I could no longer see them, but, I could hear them. My husband couldn't but, I could. They were sharing thoughts about the young woman. I started to talk a lot about nothing to my husband. I wanted to run. To leave my food and go home.

Home is my sanctuary. I got there and wondered at what had happened. Why is that kind of thing for me. Is it so I will pray. Someone surely needs to pray for those boys. If not for prayer, then I have no idea why this happens to me.

Holding up in my cave, I felt safe. But, the phone rang and I was asked to go pray healing over a woman that was in serious pain. I agreed before I thought about the day. So, I went to pray for a dear friend. While there the Spirit of God fell so very strong. It was wonderful to feel His presence and bask in His glory. He fell on my friend and healed her. No pain, freedom of movement again. She rejoiced and danced. God is a miracle maker.

I got home and pondered the weekend. Highs and lows. Miracles and wonders. Light and dark. Why? God teaches the teachable. I hope that I am teachable. I do not believe that anything is by accident, so, I believe that God taught me all weekend. But, did I make and "A" or did I fail. Or could it be that the learning curve is such that I am getting a "C". I suppose it does not matter as long as I learn.

What did I learn. It was reinforced to me to always be ready for Him. To always be expecting. I have always known that the human conditions was low, but, this weekend I "heard" how low it can go. I learned, this weekend, how very dirty the flesh can be. I learned how much work there is to be do in this realm to be able to overcome. Oh, I've always know to an extent, but, this weekend this was made known to me in a very realistic way.

Peculiar

Did you know that we Christians are a peculiar people. I love that. I have a new friend whom I have been disciplining. She is a sensitive but, is just now starting to walk in that. She has told me that she found in the Bible were she is a peculiar person and that it helped her to have peace with who she is in God. So, I looked up the verse. Was I surprised. Peculiar people, in the King James, are all over the place. God recognizes us as a peculiar people.

1. Exodus 19:5
   Now therefore, if ye will obey my voice indeed, and keep my covenant, then ye shall be a peculiar treasure unto me above all people: for all the earth is mine:
   
   
2. Deuteronomy 14:2
   For thou art an holy people unto the LORD thy God, and the LORD hath chosen thee to be a peculiar people unto himself, above all the nations that are upon the earth.
   
   
3. Deuteronomy 26:18
   And the LORD hath avouched thee this day to be his peculiar people, as he hath promised thee, and that thou shouldest keep all his commandments;
   
   
4. Psalm 135:4
   For the LORD hath chosen Jacob unto himself, and Israel for his peculiar treasure.
   
   
5. Ecclesiastes 2:8
   I gathered me also silver and gold, and the peculiar treasure of kings and of the provinces: I gat me men singers and women singers, and the delights of the sons of men, as musical instruments, and that of all sorts.
   
   
6. Titus 2:14
   Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.
   
   
7. 1 Peter 2:9
   But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light

Other versions of the Bible say "His people", a people set on high, special people. But, I looked up the definition of peculiar. "Unusual". "strange", "wonderful", "Odd", and "unique".

This all got me thinking. I don't see that most Christian's would want to be considered "peculiar". Most want to fit into the main stream. To not be in the minority. But, I do see them hunger to be like the person in church who seems to be closer to God. Thus peculiar. A person whom does not fit into the main stream.

Peculiar does equals "set apart". I have never liked being told I was set apart. I fought being peculiar. I fought being in the minority. But, when I became a Christian there was no stopping this path.

When you read the verses above, it is as if God demands we be a peculiar people. If we are not, are we walking against His way. I believe we are. Peculiar should be a badge of honor to the Christian. Shouting to the world "I am peculiar and proud of it." But, no. We hide our faith, try to fit in and keep very quiet.

I have come to love the peculiar in me. Even though, most of the time, I still believe that I'm normal the rest of you are not. The more I embrace being "set apart" the more God uses me and the clearer I hear Him.

Are you "set apart"? Are you "peculiar"? Are you, in all sense of the word - A Christian? Or, if you truly search yourself, are you in fear of being "peculiar"?

Comment Graphics at pYzam.com

I have had it

Is the world getting more dangerous? Are criminals getting more brazen? Are we so soft on them that they feel they can do whatever they want, whenever they want? Personally, I have had it with them all.

In the last two weeks, I have stopped to different crimes. Oh now, I'm not in the least a willing participant in crime stopping. I'd rather there not be any crime. It just so happened, that I was in the right place at the right time to see the crime in action and do something about it.

The first one was while I was at home. I was in my living room, in the middle of the day, when I noticed two men walking down my street. Not an unusual sight, I live on a river surrounded by parks, so people are always around. But, these two were not right. I watched them cross in front of my house and when they got in front of my neighbors home, they sped up, like a fire had been lite underneath them both. One went to the front door, the other went around to the back.

Now, sometimes I second guess myself, but, this time I knew "this ain't right." So, while watching them I called the police. I had quit the adrenaline rush going. It felt good to see the bad guys getting caught. Well, sort of. The police got there in time to only find one and he was leaning on a tree at the river when they found him. They padded him down and I watched as they let him go on his way. The police told me that they know that he was up to no good. But, he had no warrants and he would not let them search his pockets. How irritating is that.

Then, yesterday, I went over to a store. When I was leaving I saw two men harassing an elderly man in his car. One was yelling at him and then stood in front of his car so he could not leave. The elderly man was not taking all this in stride, he was telling them off, but, looking quite frightened. I started to pull my car out thinking, "OH, please. Can't I just go on home." But, NO. I go and pull up beside the commotion and roll my window down -just a little. "Hey, leave him alone" was my brave command. What a look I got. The phrase "your dead lady" comes to mind. What they did instead was to come after me. But, of course, this was my plan all along. Not really, but it makes good reading. When they decided that I would be good pickings, the elderly man drove off and when he got free, I got free and ran home to tell my husband what an idiot I am.

A few years back, I got the honor of hearing Mark Bubeck speak. He was amazing. When he took a break,he came over and sat down in front of me and shared with me what God had told him about myself. One of the things he talk in length about was Psalm 91. He told me that God wanted me to memorize it and keep it dear to my heart.

Psalm 91

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."

3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.

4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.

8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-

10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;

12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation


I do keep this Psalms close to my heart. I believe every word of it. It is a chapter of the Word of God to be kept dear to the hearts of all Christians in this, the end of days. There is much cruelty in this place and we need to stand firm on the promises of God. Although I stand on this incredible Psalm, I do not walk into stopping a crime thinking I will not be hurt. Actually, I don't think I did much thinking at all. Have wisdom about those things that will soon be in all of our lives, but, understand that whatever road God takes you down is the right road and you will not be hurt. You will survive to see the Glorious Maker of the universe.

"Jesus wept"

We all know that we are to walk like Jesus Christ. This would include the way He loved. I, always thought that I walked in this love. After all, I would get teary eyed when I prayed for someones illness or torment. I could minister to, what would be considered, the lowest from amongst us, and still, I believed, flowed in Christs love. H0w shallow was my thinking, how high my ego. How wrong I was.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is John 11:35 "Jesus wept." I didn't quite understood why this verse had such impact on me, but, it made me ponder the humanness of Christ. He wept for His friend. I did, however, come upon an occasion in which, I got to look at that verse from another angle.

I had been asked to go to a local hospital and pray for a woman's healing. She was scheduled for open heart surgery. Only thirty years of age and she was facing a death sentence without the surgery. Her heart was calcifying. The reason the doctors gave for this strange, well I thought it strange, phenomena, was that she had to many piercings. Ok, that's weird.

I had been teaching healing at a church and decided to take that class on a field trip to the hospital. I have been blessed, by God, with seeing many miracles. Healing of the body, soul and spirit. But, I have, also, seen many that were not healed and wondered at why. I know to ask God before I pray for someones healing, whether He wants healing for that person. There is a time and a place for everything under heaven and I don't want to pray against God's will. So, sometimes healing is not at hand for this reason. But, other times I'm not sure why I don't see the healing. I'm not much for telling the sick that their healing will come later. I believe it will come when asked. So, healing can be a mystery. Or is there an answer within us.

We went to the hospital to pray healing over this women. Her surgery was scheduled to take place in two days. She was scheduled for a heart cath in the morning to look at the valves in her heart. She was nerves and scared. We walked in our boldness, or should I say I walked in my boldness. Knowing that God can and will do anything. But, also knowing that there is a degree of chance that she will not be healed. God, however, had not told me I could not pray healing over her.

We prayed. The usual stuff. Looked to God for His mercy and grace. The Spirit of God fell hard into the room and then something in me changed. I began to weep uncontrollably. My stomach tightened and I could not catch my breath. I put my hands on the woman and cried to the Lord. "Mercy, Mercy". The others remained in prayer around me feeling the power of God. But, I was feeling more. My mind quit functioning and God took over. I could see through His eyes and understood for the first time how lacking we are in the knowledge of God's love. His love was pouring through me. So powerful was this love that I felt I may not live through it.

I could see into her spirit. Beautiful and bright and peaceful. God ministered to her spirit with such joy and love. There are no words for me to describe the beauty in God's love nor the overwhelming sights of His love.

I came out of that room exhausted. But, with a new understanding of "Jesus wept". It was not His humanness that wept, it was The Almighty's love. He looked around at the people and endured their pain. He longed to ease their pain, so He did the one thing they wanted. He raised Lazarus from the dead. It is through this enormous love that miracles of healing come. This love opens up the heavens. This love rules the universe and beyond. This love is God.

Since that day, I have experienced God's love, but, not on that magnitude. It does come on me strong and it takes me a moment to recover, but, I understand what is happening and walk in it. Whenever I'm there, there is healing. Going there on my own alludes me. But, I reach for that goal.

You ask, what happened to the woman we prayed for? The next day, when she had her heart cath, they found nothing wrong with her heart. Perfectly and wonderfully made. No signs that anything had every been wrong. She was released that day to go home to her children. Praise be to the Lord Almighty. The great I AM. The author and the finisher.

Without love there is no hope. Do we fully understand love. NO. But, one day we will. I have tasted that lover and my friend there is nothing in this world to compare.

I.T.A.

This weekend was the commissioning ceremony for the Purpose class that I have been helping lead. At their commissioning, a prophetic team comes in to prophesy over them. The team, that comes in, have become friends of mine. As a matter of fact they are the reason I have exposed myself as a Christian Sensitive.

When I first met them I was going through a identity crisis. Fearing that I was out of alignment with God. That I was walking a fine line between a psychic and a prophetic person. This team prophesied over me, and the first thing that was said was "The identity crisis stops now." WOW, I was blown away. God spoke boldly through them and I heard Him. I started to move out of my self imposed prison and walk in freedom.

This weekend I was talking with the man that leads this team. He is a pastor and flows in the prophetic. We were talking about why we hear so clearly from God & others do not. He had a theory that was interesting. However, it may seem incomplete here on this page.

His theory is I.T.A.. Information, Transformation and Application. He asked me how I read the Bible. My answer was, that I read it to learn. He stated that most don't read it for information. Most see it as instruction. Instructions on the right way to walk and pray. He believes that those who read it for information don't limit God to the Bible. That they don't see God as "bound by the Word". Information can be taken inpondered on, sorted through and then comes transformation.

"What do you do with this information" he asked me. I told Him that I meditate on it and seek God's wisdom. He stated that that is transformation. Letting God transform the information into what is true and right. Again, not limiting it to the obvious. Moving away from the limits that man puts on God and letting God respond to the information. And then comes application. Applying what God has brightened your life with and walking it out.

He gave me an example in his own life. He had become obsessed with the promise from God that whatever we put our hands to will prosper.

Deuteronomy 30:9
Then the LORD your God will make you most prosperous in all the work of your hands and in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your land. The LORD will again delight in you and make you prosperous, just as he delighted in your fathers

He said that when he first read this passage it jumped into his spirit. So he meditated on it and watched as God took it deep into his belief system. Then he began to apply it. He told of many instances where he called upon that promise and God met him there.

I thought about I.T.A. in my own life. I, also, was reminded about a verse that jumped out at me.

John 14:12 (New International Version)

12I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.

This just rocked my world. I believe the Bible to be truth, so, my question was, why do we not see greater works. It's obvious, it is because of us. We are so shallow in our belief.

So I became obsessed with this verse. I slept with it on my mind, I spoke it out loud, I meditated on it, I let it become alive in my life. That was taking the information into my being and transforming it into what God meant it to be in my life. As time has past, I have walked into the application of that and have seen God perform many miracles.

I really don't think that this answers why some hear God so clearly and other do not. But, it is a good method of absorbing the Word of God, making it become who you are and walking it out. I pray that God would bless you with the sweetness of His voice and that you will take on the Word of God to see the underlining truth.

Just for fun

Definition of a narcissist=

You love yourself, you think your grand. You go to movies, you hold your hand. You put your arm around your waist & when you get fresh you slap your face.

Repentance

While I was hard into the grasp of Lupus, I was put on pain medicine. I was told that it would help the Fibromyalgia. I was in a lot of pain and trusted the Doctors. The problem was, I was put on Oxycontin.

It started, as they say, innocently enough. I took them as prescribed. I really had no idea that I had become addicted to pain pills.

After God healed me from the Lupus, I remained on the Oxycontin. I still felt pain and the doctors kept saying it was fibromyalgia. Neither the doctors nor myself realized the complete healing that God had produced. So, for a year after my healing I remained on pain medicine. My brain telling my body it hurt so it could still receive the narcotic of it's choice.

My behavior began to change. I no longer search within my self for sin. I no longer stilled my mind to hear the voice of my God. I no longer saw with the eyes of Christ. I no longer saw good in people. I had become a different person, full of suspicion, doubt, fear.

I began to act without thinking. I found myself, one day, with a gun in an abandoned house, thinking about ending my life. I don't know how I got there or why I was thinking this way, except that Satan wanted to kill me. I did, reach out & call someone who talk with me and deescalated the situation.

I saw people as the enemy. I became judgemental of some & proud over others. This behavior finally got me into trouble at my church. No one, exactly, knew what had become of me, but, they did know that I had change in a negative way. Meetings were called and confrontation of my behavior were addressed. I finally felt overwhelmed with meetings and my inability to defend myself and left my precious church.

I felt so persecuted. Very much into me, me, me. I was lost in my confused mind soaking up my thoughts of victimization. I felt sorry for myself. The deal is, you are suppose to examine ones self. I was not capable at that time of even grasping that there was something wrong with me. Looking inward in the confusion of my chosen drug was impossible. Never have I been so overwhelmed with self.

I lost a bottle of Oxycontin. You can't get refills when you've lost a narcotic. So I was suddenly faced with the truth. The pain started to grow. I saw my doctor and told her that I believed that I was withdrawing and she gave me a week of methadone. This helped that first week, but, I had withdrawals for two weeks.

I laid on my couch for two weeks. The pain was unbearable. I did not receive any medication for the pain. I could not fathom how I was going to live in so much pain. There seemed to be no hope for my future. I had lost my church, lost my dignity, and was facing a life of intolerable pain. But, God is good.

After the two weeks had past, my pain left me. Completely gone. My mind had so longed for the feel good of drugs that it created pain to get its fix. NO PAIN. God's healing over me was so complete that every diagnosis that I had received was gone. I was a miracle.

The realization of the last few years began to set in. What a mess I had left in my addiction. I needed to repent and clean up my mess. I thought long and hard about repentance before I took the next step.

I wrote to the pastor of the church that I had walked out of and began my walk into forgiveness. I had been on staff at that church when I walked out. I left behind division and hurt people. Through conversations with the pastor it was decided that I would speak at the two Sunday morning services and repent to the church.

Scary? You bet. Humbling? I felt like a worm crawling on the ground. I, really did not want to do it, but, felt it was the right thing to do. Repentance, what a wonderful, positive exercise in the Christian walk. So cleansing and loving to self and others.

I spoke to the church that Sunday morning. Didn't think I had any energy left after the first service. It drained me of everything I had. God was so good to me, I found the energy and was forgiven. God watch me that day and I hope he was pleased. He did, on that day open up new doors for me to walk down. A healing path and a new walk into the unknowing. You see, I not only lost myself in my addiction, I lost God.

God was near me, but, I didn't acknowledge Him. So into ME, that He became less important. My own fleshy needs were far greater than my need for God. But, repentance healed and brought me back to God. He was waiting for Me and I am so glad He is a forgiving God.

Addiction sneaks up on you. It is a tool that Satan uses to steal God's people. Confusion, isolation, despair are the path of the addict. I experienced this dark place and from that my heart breaks over the pain of the addict. I understand their agony, but, I also, understand, that I will never fall back into that dark place. Never will I leave my God again.

How to break soul & spirit ties

It was brought to my attention that I did not write how to get rid of soul and spirit ties. So I thought I'd better put it down for those of you interested.

You take a week of consecration. At the beginning of the week, you cut up pieces of cloth that are about 1/4 to a 1/2 inch wide to 2 inches long. On these pieces of cloth you write down what the soul and spirit ties are that you want broken. On the other side you write what it is you would like to replace it with.

Now remember what these soul ties are, see posting Soul and Spirit ties.

You can be as specific as you want. As with sexual partners, if you have had a lot, you don't need to list everyone. Just list the one's that have made an impact on you and do the rest on one piece of cloth & call it global.

After you have written down all that you feel you need, then you get a safety pin ( you may need a big one) and fasten these pieces of cloth to your under cloths. This will stay on your person, only coming off to shower.


Sometime in the week, you need to think about going on a fast. Some do this all week, others a few days into the week. You don't have to fast food. You can fast anything that means something to you, or is a sacrifice for you. Think about what you are about do to, focus on God, believe that He will meet you in this hour.

Stay in the Word of God. Stand on His promises. Be expecting a great change in you. Freedom.

When you get to the last day. Stay in quiet contemplation with God. Then go to a place of solitude and burn your pieces of cloth in a fire. Beware, some of these soul and spirit ties do not like to be separated from you and will jump out of the fire. Keep putting in back in, it will burn. It is helpful to have someone with you to pray for you afterwards and seal what you have done in the presence of God. Deliverance is yours.

Now you can break your fast and celebrate your new found freedom. Be thankful and praise God.

Keeping your new found freedom is next. Don't fall for the lies that nothing happened. It did. Call Satan the liar that he is and stand on your promise from God. You are free.

I hope this helps. Let me know how it goes for those of you looking for freedom.

Soul & Spirit ties

My post "Oh Please. "NO!!!", brought about a few questions about the bondage breaking weekend. So, I was asked to write a post and clarify what soul ties are.

Some of what I'll be writing is taken from the manual we use at my church to teach "Purpose, Passion and Purity". I'll, also, be drawing on my own experiences from praying at the bondage breaking weekend retreats.

We as Christians understand that we are at war, a spiritual war. There are spiritual forces that are waging war against the followers of Christ to destroy them, to keep them ineffective and from doing what God has called them to do and walking in purpose.

There are two kingdoms in this world and they are fighting for control of the earth. The first kingdom is the Kingdom of light and the other is the kingdom of darkness. The only way that either kingdom has access to the earth is through human beings. Every one on this earth is in this war whether they believe it or not. If they choose to believe that it is not true, then they are already working for the Kingdom of darkness.

soul ties. These are ties that involve human relationships. This is a large area and many of us do not understand how relationships affect our spiritual lives and living our life on purpose. We are a triune being, spirit, soul and body. When we get involved in a relationship depending on the relationship, it can involve all three areas of our being.

So this means having ungodly, premarital sex can lead to soul ties. Whenever we engaged in sexually activity we leave a piece of ourselves with them and take a piece of them with us. In a soul tie breaking you give back what was left with you and take back what you left with that person. There is a Godly tie with your marriage partner "no longer two bodies, but one" Matthew 19:5-6.

There are other soul ties, such as emotional that come on through abuse, but, I will move on to spirit ties.

Spirit ties- A spirit tie is developed in many different ways. But, always, is an oppression from a dark spirit. These spirits have a legal right to be there. We know the devil has no legal right to us. However there are times when we give him access to our lives where he can come in and build up strongholds in our minds.

Strongholds are areas in your life that you do not have control over or fortified pockets that are under the control of the enemy. They can also be moods, inclinations, impulses or tendencies of a specific kind.

Understand that when you have strongholds or footholds in your life that you become a slave to that area - you no longer have control over it, but it controls you. You are bound by it or in bondage to those areas.

I remember being at a bondage breaking weekend that was going quit well. I was praying over the last women. I had learned, from experience, that I needed to have a team with me on these weekends, because I was seeing manifestations of evil at times. So, I was asking the last women how she had felt burning her soul ties, when she jumped up, ran towards me, grabbed me around the throat and was back in her seat so fast your mind thought it could not have happened. I heard one of my team members say, "Well, I'm leaving." I couldn't quit looking at this women, but, did tell my team member, she needed to stay.

This woman was possessed. There was no doubt. The lighten fast speed of her endeavor to kill me was certainly supernatural. Thank God, that He is my protector. This woman was small, quiet, & docile in personality. This, however, was a way that this demon could hide from the Christian world. It knew that it would not be able to hide in this moment in time, so it attacked. The women was set free that day, by the hand of God. I've lost track of her over the years. I can only hope and pray that she did not open up doors to allow that thing back in.

Keeping your victory after bondage breaking is imperative. The enemy lies in wait to resume his destruction of the Christian. You must choose to continue to walk free. Meet with God daily, pray continuously, stay in the Word. Take control of your thoughts. Your thoughts will get you in trouble. Believe that you have been set free. Do not, put yourself in the way of temptation.

I have seen many people lose their freedom and as it says in the Word, it became soooo much worse. God wants your freedom. He wants you to walk into your purpose and not be held back by the torment of the flesh.

God lessons with confirmation

Early on in my Christian walk, I read every Christian book I could get my hands on. But, after about two years, I could not read anything except the Word of God.

Those first two years I grew up fast in my walk with Christ. My giftings became very apparent, but, I had very few mentors to tell me what was happening to me.

I had been hired on at my church to do counseling. It was going well. I built it on the leading of the Holy Spirit, no method except the Lord's guiding. One day I got a call from one of the hospitals in town. They wanted to release a patient from the psy. ward but, needed her to be assigned to a counselor before she left. I took on that job. It was my first introduction to the woman I wrote about in my post "Again Deception". She had always avoided me before this, but, now she needed me. So, she used me to get out of the hospital. To leave the hospital she had to make and keep an appointment with me. So, our long battle together began.

The day she was to see me, she called and said a very nice thing to me. "If it is alright, I'm bringing someone with me who knows what she is doing. Someone with better credentials." Oh, the intimidation. Truly, from the beginning, that thing inside of her knew me and tried to control everything. I allowed the visitor she was bringing. Thought it could be interesting.

The woman she brought became a very close friend of mine. She is a prophetess and a very good one. This of course did intimidate me at the time. I didn't know anything about the prophetic then and felt she must have great insight into everything I thought.

She began to work with me in Inner Healings and deliverance. God used us mightily in that vain of work. She became my mentor on many levels. She did, however, allow God to work in me without challenging me nor second guessing what was happening. A great woman of God.

But, back to, I couldn't read Christian books any longer. My relationship with God had grown immensely during this time. I, now knew His voice, felt that He was taking me into His confidence and He had shown me great unknown things. After I had work with this woman of God for about a year, she gave me a book for my birthday. I was grateful, but, figured I'd put in on a shelf & forget about it.

I was in my office waiting for a client, who never showed, and I picked up this book. Opened it and began to read. I kept reading surprised that I could. Everything that was written in that book had been told to me by God in that previous year. Truly, a God led writer & written through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I sat there and read the entire book.

The Book, "The Three Battlegrounds" by Francis Frangipane. He talks about spiritual warfare. About the fight we Christians fight in the mind, church, and in the spirit realm. I recommend it to everyone. Mr. Fragipane did not write this book, the Spirit of God did. It was great affirmation, for me, that God was talking to me. This book is God's plan for warring against the enemy.

I could read whatever I wanted after reading "The Three Battlegrounds." No book ever meant quit as much to me, except , of course the Bible. In fact, I think I'll read it again. Refresher course in dealing with the unknown.

Set God Free

I have begun to read a book named "Silent Hope, Living with the Mystery of God", by John Kirvan. He bothers me. He finds God to be a silent God. Now, I'm not through with the book, so maybe things will change, but, He acts like, silence with God does not change.

The book consists of writings and prayer from mystics and is based on "Hope". I love some of the things that are written in the book. Beautiful words, but, I know that God is anything but silent.

My husband has tried so hard to hear God's voice and to see into the spirit realm. Finally, he has told me that He has decided that he is going to quit and relax. That if it is going to happen, it will. I think that this is a good thing. When we work to hear God, we do get in the way. We try different methods not understanding that there are no methods to hearing God's voice. He comes to us when we are minding our own business. A surprise. But, I do tell my husband that he should hope and still expect that he will hear God's voice.

One of the problems that I see is that our minds are so full of ourselves that we can't hear. Calming that inner "mind voice" should be high on our to do list. I'm not saying that this is a method to hearing God. I don't know that this will cause one to hear. I do know that calming our mind is imperative to becoming closer to God.

Madam Jeanne Guyon wrote "Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ". In this wonderful book, she writes of calming the mind. Her meditation is not one of emptying the mind, which I believe is a dangerous thing, but, is one of filling the mind with God. I, personally, practice this method of meditation. I take a verse from the word of God, or focus on one of His personality traits and think about that all day. I have learned to meditate, praise God, pray in all things. There is always a prayer and praise in my head. This is my method to calming the mind.

This form of meditation will get the Word into your mind, thus, taking on the mind of Christ. What could happen when we have on the mind of Christ. Everything. We could hear God, we could move mountains, we could walk daily with our Lord as did Enoch.

I believe that we all have the ability to hear God. God put in all of us a place of connection to Him. If your goal is to hear God's voice then first you must get closer to Him. So very close & take Him out of the box.

We worship a God of surprises. You never know what is going to happen next. The Bible is certainly a guide line for us to walk in. The truth, laid down for us as a manual of principles, but, God is not confined by these guide lines. NO! Part of hearing from God, is knowing that He can & will do anything. He is not hampered by the same set of rules that we are.

I know, you are telling yourself that you know this, but,I ask you in look deep into yourself. You may just find that you need God to follow a certain guideline that you yourself have set down. When we go deep into ourselves, we can be surprised by what we find. Doubt is the biggest problem. Go deep, surprise yourself.

Do you want to hear God? Then set Him free.

Oh,Please "NO"!!!

This weekend I went on a bondage breaking retreat. It is part of a class I helped lead. The class is to help find God"s purpose for ourselves. Before the weekend retreat, the women write down the soul ties, spirit ties, inner vows, generational curses, etc., that they would want broken. They write them on little pieces of cloth and then take a safety pin and fasten the ties to there underclothes and wear them all week. The goal is for them to see how uncomfortable it is to continue to carry these burdens. They, also fast during the week. By the time they get to the retreat, they are very ready to get rid of these ties & walk free.

One of my jobs, while at the retreat, is to prophesy over these women, when they get back from burning these ties. It is always a beautiful thing to watch the women transform after they have gotten rid of these soul tie. They are so happy and free. God always meets me when I prophesy over them & it usually is conformation of what God has already been telling them.

For myself, this weekend, got a bit weird. After they had broken their fast and we had sat down for one more teaching, I heard from God personally. I was listening to the teaching. The teacher was talking about when she needed help with something she would ask God for the grace to achieve that goal.

Suddenly I heard God. Now the subject matter that He was addressing, did not please me. You see, I have relapsed into smoking cigarette's. I have many excuses to continue smoking. My mother is one, because, I know that cigarette's help to keep emotions down. Another excuse, is that it also, helps to keep some of the things I see & feel from the spirit realm in check. I know that these are excuses, but, I'm an addict, I'm suppose to have excuses. So, anyway, that was the subject matter between God & myself Saturday morning.

Soon as the teacher said "Grace" I knew what was coming. " Do you love me?" I was rather irritated with this, so my response was, "Oh, Don't go there." I waited & heard nothing. God is patient. "Yes, I love you."
Again, "Do you love me." I responded, "Really, you don't have to go there." I waited again. Nothing. "Yes, I love you. But, stop." "Do you love me?" I gave up. "Yes, I love you." Then I knew what was next. "Then go & make disciples of my people." Well, it wasn't exactly what I expected. I responded with, "I do do that." I thought I had gotten ahead of the game here, the winner. But, God responded with, "Not to your full potential."

That ended our conversation. I could feel the dread of withdrawal come up in me. Knowing that I don't really want to stop but, also knowing, that the Artist that created me, was erasing cigarette's from His drawing of me.

My husband has told me, that God told him that, He was not going to help me quit this time. OH, the terror of it all. I have had addictions before, but, nothing holds a person like cigarette's. When I quit before, God just took them from me. But, this will not be a easy road for me.


The teaching stated that grace was what was needed to get through those tough times. I need a truck load of grace for this one. By definition grace is the unmerited favor of God. God gives grace freely. But, I just realized that in my flesh of addiction, I do not believe that grace is enough to see me through. A horrible epiphany of self.

This of course is a soul tie with me. A bondage that keeps me from the fullness of God. The women this weekend burned their soul tie & found freedom. This is what God wants from me. But, it is not what I want for myself. Sacrifice & killing the flesh, I don't want to. I am so obedient in all other areas. Even though I argue for a while, I always obey. I just want to rebel here. I, also, just realized that I am afraid of failure in this act of obedience. He can quit, at anytime now, giving me these insights. What to do? There are no options. I must quit.

As Paul said, "All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify." I Cor. 10:23.

I Think???

I think therefore I am...I think" For you old hippies, that is a quote from the Moody Blues. For you philosophers, that is a quote from Descartes.

I was given the honor of a blogger award. "The Thinking Blogger" I think.



This honor was bestowed on myself by my incredibly intelligent, beautiful, artistic daughter. A homesteading neophyte . She states, when giving me this award that, "she makes me think about my soul and the fact that I might just be going to hell." Gotta love it.


Anyways, Thank you. It is quite an honor.

Prayer request

I have a dear friend. A wonderful woman of god, who is very ill. she is in I.C.U. with a horrible illness that I can't spell. If you would just stop right now & lift Kathy up to God, it would be greatly appreciated.

The blizzard Stopped because I believed

I asked God what He wanted me to write about this morning & He was silent. He didn't say anything nor bring anything to my memory. I reached over & opened my Bible, which had to be from God, because I can't read in the morning. My age has taken my reading eyes & even with glasses, I can't see to read in the morning. But, this morning I could read. I opened it up to Jeremiah 32:27.

"I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?"

Do we as Christian's forget this? I say," most do." They seem to forget this is "God" that we are talking about. He can & will do anything. How hard is it for us to grasp this. He wants the best for us, He will give to us, He wants us to walk in His power, He wants relationship with us.

Are you walking in His glory & power. Do you recognize He is your maker? Do you take that to heart or do you intellectualize it.

Getting it from your mind to your heart can be difficult. Letting our spirit take over our minds is an act of letting go of control. The truth lies in faith. Do you have the faith to over come your mind & allow God to be God. You need to understand to the depths of your being, that you are not of this world. That this is a temporary state of being and that reality lies in eternity. Your spirit is the real you. The everlasting you. Your closeness to God lies in your Spirit.

"Is anything to hard for Me"? Is that a reality for you? Do you take that scripture & apply it to you personally. When I read it, it is directed right at me & no one else. It is written for me alone. Oh, I know that it is for you as well. But, my spirit believes it and takes it sooo personal. These words become a part of who I am. They should. also, becoming a part of who you are.

Every word of the Bible was written for you. A one on one ministry from the Maker of the universe to you. Take it in, absorb it, walk it out.

I was driving up into the mountains of Colorado to see one of my boys. I got into a blizzard at a very inopportune time. I was heading over a dangerous pass. I could no longer see out of the wind shield because of the heavy snow fall. I said to God. "You say, that you left your Spirit here for us to do greater works. That we can move mountains in your name. So, in the name of Jesus Christ this storm will stop." The storm stopped at that very moment. I got over the pass & to my son's home before it started again.

Did this happen because I am some how special? "NO!!" It happened because I believed it would happen. No different then it should be for you. Believe in the promises of God. Walk in the promises of God. We as Christians need to be showing the world His glory. Call upon the Lord & He will give you what you truly need.

Again Deception

I have, over the years, worked several times with a women that I believe is possessed. She dose not like me, but, her husband kept bringing her to me. We don't see each other any more, but, her husband calls for prayer, often.

When I first saw this woman it was in church, She was very friendly to everyone. That is everyone but me. She would worship God in grandiose ways, that looked awesome. You'd see her standing on the chairs with her arms straight up to God, or lying flat on the floor weeping to God, or jumping & dancing her heart out.

I was young in Christ then & felt rejected by this great woman of God, because she would not come near or speak to me. It wasn't that that thing inside of her was afraid of my knowing it,. Others in the room had suspicions as to what was going on with her. It was that that thing inside of her knew enough of the future to know that I was the one who would be attacking it & putting it in danger. It was, at least, a year later before I ended up one on one with this woman.

There are many things that have gone on between this woman and myself that I could share but, the subject of this post is deception. so I will concentrate on that. I'm sure that you have heard that Satan knows that Bible better than us, well, it is sooo true.

You can see that she to, like the man in the previous post, worshiped God. Or should I say, pretended to worship God. I have no doubt that there is as part of this woman that knows God and tries to grab hold of her God. But, over the years, I have seen that part of her shrink. She still goes to church, lots of different churches, but only to disrupt. What I find most interesting about her is her graps of the Word of God.

I've sat with her many times and it is hard to get a word in. She is continually speaking the Word of God. This has gotten worse over the years as well. You ask her a question and she answers you with a verse. It would be good if we all could find, in our minds, the answer to every question from the word. And we know that all answers are there but, this was unbelievable. The quotes, from the word, came out of her like a machine guns rapid fire. You could barely listen as fast as she would spit them out.

This day I was sitting alone with her in my office. We were just going over some history getting ready for an inner healing, she needs deliverance, but, she only oked an inner healing. She started this rapid fire Bible quoting. I sat there & decided to say under my breath, "anything that is not of God can not speak". Oh, she shut up right away, but, her look was not one of surprise, it was more like "I'm going to kill you". Her eyes were locked on mine with pure hate. My flesh had a bit of "OH, no." Now, I'm praying as fast as she was quoting the Bible. "OH, God, I need protection. Guide me. HELP".

She stood up and started to walk out. I asked her where she was going and she just shrugged. "Are you coming back next week" I asked. She shrugged again. I quit talking, because, she could not answer. She walked out the door & I thanked God a lot. I knew how violent this woman could be. She tried to kill her husband with a gun once. He maced her in the eyes twice and it did not stop her. Thank you God for making her leave.

Deception. Satan knows the Bible better than we do. Big time. Satan can dance before the Lord. Yes, I look good doing it. Satan can talk in tongues. It's a deception, but, it can sound right. There is more that we need to be aware of. We need to stay close to God for His direction in these matters. The Antichrist will come with such deception and we need to understand His ways so we will not fall into these traps.

In these two posts I have described the cunningest of Satan. How He can pretend to be a Christian. Many will fall for these schemes. Seek God in everything. The hour is sooo late and these schemes will permeate this world. Are you prepared for these ploys? Without the Spirit of God you will fall victim to these schemes.

Deception

We, as Christians, expect to be deceived by Satan. It, to us, is part of the Christian walk. We expect that we will be tempted, lied to, and swayed by his lowly ways. But, how aware are we of Satan's plans? Could it be that we only skirt the surface of his ways? Do we need to reevaluate, in this late hour, his plans & schemes.

I believe, that we Christians, knowing the power of God, minimize the power of Satan. God is more powerful, no doubt. But, we need to have a measure of respect for the power of Satan. The word respect & Satan together, usually gets me into trouble. Not respect as in honoring. Respect as in pay attention to his ways. Because, Satan's ways are enormously deceptive. In this post and the next, I'm going to give life experience examples of Satan's deception. Maybe it will give you , the reader, a greater understanding of his schemes.

Idto a lot of inner heeling's & deliverance's. I had an occasion to do an inner healing on a young woman. She had many bondage's and a lot of emotional pain that kept her from the depths of Christ that she yearned for. I had gathered a team of people and we went to work. Everything was going quite well. We had identified an area that needed pray, when the young woman said, "Can I pray in tongues?" We said. "Of course." and she began to pray.

Something was horribly wrong. The words coming out of her mouth were not from God and the emotion behind them was one of anger and hate. We listened for a moment and one of those on my team called her name. But, she did not stop. We all looked at each other a couple of times, not quite sure what to do. Under God direction, I said, "Anything that is not of God, can not speak." It looked like a zipper went over her mouth. She looked up at me and said, "That was not God!" We had to agree.

Another time, I was at a retreat. We had two rooms going in prayer. We were on a bondage breaking weekend where a lot of women had come for help. I was working in one room with another team across the hall. The other team came and got me saying that there was a problem in their room, would I help. When I went in, there was a woman sitting in a chair for prayer. I went & sat down in front of her & out of her mouth came the same language as the previous woman. So I said the same thing, "Anything that is not of God, can not speak!" There it was again, a zipper across her mouth & stunned eyes trying to understand.

Were these women possessed? No! But, we do invited spirits, over time, to hang out with us. They come from a variety of places. Out childhood needs, addiction, believing error, wrong relationships, abuse, etc. These entities just kind of hang out. We give them legal rights to stay around. So, with these two women it was a spirit that had been with them a long time. The spirits knew their time was short & acted out. Sending their cries into the spirit realm and perhaps trying to scare us off. We make these things at home with us. So many times we ignore the signs that we are being oppressed but, with time God will bring to you the dis-ease of their presence & you will want freedom.

Disguised as the gift of tongues. Amazing deception. His deceptions go deep and we need to always be aware of his deeds. Tomorrow I will share with you a sad and ongoing story about deception.

Testing the spirits

A few years back, when I was working with the severely mentally ill, I was assigned a man with depression & drug addiction. A duel diagnosis. When I went to meet with him, it was obvious that he was into satanist activities, by the books on his shelf. He didn't believe in Jesus Christ as the risen savior, so I asked him, "If I can prove to you the existence of Jesus Christ as the risen savior, will you believe?" He said, if I could prove it he would.

I had no idea what a ride I was in for.

I got his attention enough that he agreed to go to church with me. He startled me by ending up on his face, on the floor, before the altar. He stood & held his hands towards the heavens & worshiped God. I didn't know whether to be excited or nervous. On the way home, he spoke of his new awakening. The Jesus had turned his life around.

Now, I'm semi excited, but, still weary. I know that God can do amazing things, but, something bothered me. He became a fixture a church. There every time the door opened. He joined a group I had started, a christian support group for the mentally ill, & actively participated. It looked like his life had truly changed.

One Saturday night at church, I heard the pastor ask him, "Who is you Lord." He stated, "Jesus". I knew this to be a test of the spirits. But, again, something in me felt wrong.

I John 1-6

1Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 2This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, 3but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world.

His involvement with the church went on for about one month. He became inappropriate with myself one night and when corrected withdrew from the church. He began to use drugs again. A friend and myself decided to go & see him. On the way God told me not to say anything to him. I thought this would be a bit odd, but, told my friend & that is what we did.

We went into his home and sure enough, he did all the talking. But, while he was talking, I could feel a presence come into the room. My friend & I spoke later and we were having the same experience at the same time in this house. This presence was very heavy & evil. I would pray in my head & rebuke this thing & it would leave. But, then it would return. This went on the whole time we were there. This man just kept on talking about anything and everything unholy. We listened & rebuked for about 30 minutes.

Then the Lord told me to ask him this question. "What about Jesus?" His answer got myself & my friend to leave. He answered "I much more prefer my God to yours." Ok, that was it. Out the door.

God took me through this to show me several things. The most important, I believe, is that he said "Jesus is my Lord." So many Christians are under the impression that spiritually one can not say this who is not worshiping or following Jesus. But, I heard it with my own hears.


I came to the understanding that demons lie. They can lie about who they worship. So, what about testing spirits. We need to be testing spirits. We need to have the gift of discerning of spirits. The spirit that laid within this man, manipulated and lied his way into the church. The damage done was minimal. But, think about what could have been the outcome. Lives & reputations could have been destroyed.

I found the commentary below that I feel address this issue very well.

To understand John's instruction to test the Spirits, we need to place it in the context of Johannine church life. People met in houses in groups of about twenty to thirty people, for worship and fellowship (compare 2 Jn 10). These scattered communities did not have immediate access to authoritative figures like the Elder, and communication with them was not always easy. Apparently the Elder sent emissaries to communicate with the churches (3 John 5-8), sometimes carrying letters such as these epistles. These congregations had been glad to welcome the Elder's traveling ambassadors. But now there were also "false prophets" who, like the emissaries of the Elder, would have claimed to speak the truth under the inspiration of the Spirit. And, finally, there were also various itinerant philosophers who traveled in hopes of a hearing and a place to stay. In light of this complex situation, John is anxious to provide his readers with criteria against which claims to truth and inspiration could be tested.Spirit-inspired Prophets (4:1)

Clearly the claim to be inspired by the Spirit can and must be tested, for the claim to have the Spirit is not proof that one does. Here spirit has been variously taken to refer to the spirit that inspires the prophet, to the person who is inspired or to the message delivered by the prophet. Obviously the three are related, for in testing a person's words one is actually testing whether or not that person speaks by divine guidance. In light of the rest of the passage two things emerge: First, the author believes that individual persons are inspired or led to confess or deny Christ by spirits, some reality beyond the human individual. Second, ultimately there are only two spirits: God's Spirit, also called the Spirit of truth because it guards and inspires truth (4:2, 6); and the spirit of antichrist, which inspires falsehood, and especially false confession of Christ (vv. 3, 6). The Elder's readers are not to believe every claim to be divinely inspired or to have a prophetic message, but are rather to test the spirits, to discern whether a message is the truth that comes from God. read more here

Expect God

I had a wonderful weekend. God seemed to be boldly present everywhere I went.

Friday I went to have my hair done. While I sat with color setting up on my head, the beautician sat down in front of me. She was sharing about some personal matters. While she talked I saw the Spirit of God come down on her. It looked as if He was tending to her. She kept talking, I listened, but, I also, kept watching. I found it difficult to do both.

I told her, "the Spirit of God is on you." "He wants you to know that the burden of the world is not yours. It is His." Also, that "He is nearer to you than you think. He has not gone away." I can't remember the rest. I have such a lousy memory. But, she knew what God was talking about. She began to cry & told me that those words were the very thing she had prayed about the night before.

God met her that day. She needed confirmation about her prayer & I, as usual, needed confirmation that I was hearing God. It is amazing how much confirmation we need. I would think it speaks to our lack of Faith that we continually need confirmation. I, usually don't know I'm in the need for confirmation, till it happens. Then I feel relief. God is good. He knows us better than we ourselves.

That was Friday. Saturday, I had a small party at my home. I'm not much in the way of hospitality, but, I told a friend that I would help her get her business going & this is the way to do that. The folks I invited interacted well & the party was a success. But, one of my friends brought a guest. While sitting a the table, I noticed a bit of strangeness going on in the spirit realm over this guest head. It was a strange sight. An impish kind of creature, it wasn't evil, was just over her head & pulling hard on a rope. It was struggling hard to pull the word "joy" into her.

I didn't know this woman, so I didn't know how she would react to this revelation. But, I told her what I saw. Her response was that she needed joy in her life. There was some conversation about God & church. But, then we went on with the party.

When it was time for them to leave, about five of us were standing outside talking. I looked at this woman & her eyes were full of sadness. I was over whelmed by the emotion. I took a step towards her. People were talking, so I took another step towards her. She was listening to the others not noticing me. So I took another step towards her. Finally, the conversation wained & I said to her, "I see great sadness in your eyes. May I pray for you?"

She started to cry dramatically. The love of God poured out on all the women standing there & they all stepped towards her to comfort her. It was a beautiful moment. I took her into my arms & prayed for her. Afterwards she was grateful & shared a lot about herself. Very tragic story. I invited her to church the next day. There was conversation about which service we all go to. The others there go to second, but, I go to first. They were wanting me at second. It would especially be good if this woman went. But, my husband likes to go to first & that is basically that.

The next morning my husband kept sleeping. It was not normal. I checked on him, to see if he was ok. He was sleeping hard. By, the time he woke up, it was to late for first service. He was amazed at all long & hard he had slept. I was grateful to God.

At church the suspense was there. Would this woman come. Worship began & then I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. There she was looking wonderful. I was so excited, I hugged her & thanked God. She sat through service & then I asked her what she thought. I was a little discouraged because, pastor was not there, another was doing the service. But, she said, this was for me.

I can't tell you how my heart jumped for joy. I was so full of the Spirit that in worship I couldn't stop jumping. I wanted to run & run. The energy of God was so overwhelming. My joy was complete though, when I saw God speaking to her.

Expect God. He is looking for people who will hear His call. There is so much to do in this world to expand the Kingdom. He needs you. Expect Him. Time is short, Jesus is coming back for His church. He "does not want to lose one" of His children. Listen for His call to minister. I had a remarkable weekend. I live in expectation that God will use me. Expect Him for yourself.

Am I strong enough?

Last night I watch Glenn Beck. I always watch Glenn Beck. My husband can't miss him. But, last night while watch him, my spirit became unnerved. My thought was, I'm leaving the room. I'm never watch him again. But, I realized that it was my spirit that was unnerved, so I started to pray.

It is rare for me to lose my spiritual piece. I have been in some strange situations, but, my peace is usually with me. But, last night, it was gone. I started to ask God what is going on. I felt such dread. Keep praying, I told myself.

Now, I don't get visions, or words about end time stuff. Just don't. Never really thought much about going there, even though I believe time is short. But, last night, I believe God was warning me & I need to tell you.

When I finally escaped the room & got silent with God. I pleaded that He led me know what was wrong with my spirit. I asked God "Is your hand slipping off of the United States?" Then in my minds eye, I saw a city. This city was in ruin. It was burning & the walls falling down. I was so taken back by this that I let the picture go. But, then another came. I saw evil. A huge presence of evil lurking over the United States. It had freedom to move. There was no restraint on the evil.

Several things came to me after this vision. Can this be stopped? A friend told me once about a man, I can't remember his name, who is a prophet. When he would get a vision of the future, he would have people pray against it to stop it. When it would stop, he would be called a false prophet, because it did not happen. Can we pray against this vision of my & stopped it. Probably not.

Some things are set in stone. The Word of God tells us what will be in the end of age. There will be no stopping it. Are things in motion for the end of age? God says, we will know when the time is near.

Mark 13:30-33
I tell you the truth, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened. 31Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.

The Day and Hour Unknown

32"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. 33Be on guard! Be alert! You do not know when that time will come.

So if the vision I had is about these signs, then praying will not stop it.

The other thought I had was about my unrest in hearing these things on Glenn Beck. I began to seek the Lord about my spiritual strength. I started to question whether I could hold on to my faith in these horrific times. The answer? I don't know. But, out of this vision, I do know what I need to pray for. Strength!

I realize that part of what I went through last night, was so God could get my attention, and show me that vision. But, the other is I need to do spiritual calisthentics. Build my faith. I should never stop building my faith. The things that we are about to encounter will need faith "larger than a mustard seed." I am weak. I thank God that he showed me my weakness & now I can build my spiritual muscle to be able to endure.

Hearing God

I have said that I pray before I write these post. This time I did not get an answer. But, another blogger asked me a question on Twisted Christian Blog (isn't that a great name) & through that God spoke to me.

I watched an interview with a psychic. I think his name was John Edwards, although, I thought that was the guy running for president. Ha, Ha. Anyways, he was talking about the way he hears the voices of the dead & what they sound like. It hit me that what he was saying was how I hear from God.

He said that it is his voice (his mind voice) but that it is louder. This is true, also, to hearing God. In less of course it is audible. (posting:Audible voice of God). When I hear God it is loud & unusual. It is certainly, never, something I would come up with. Of course God speaks to us through many means. The Word, visions, dreams, notions, others, nature, circumstance. We need only to pay attention to what & how He is speaking to us.

Some would argue that it is our imagination taking over. But, usually, I'm minding my own business when He speaks to me. It will come out of no where. I do, though, now that I know His voice, have conversations with Him that can be on going.

God has spoke to me many times about our minds. Putting on the mind of Christ.

1 Corinthians 2:9-16

However, as it is written:
"No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him"^[b]— 10but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.
The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. 11For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 12We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. 13This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words.^[c] 14The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. 15The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man's judgment:
16"For who has known the mind of the Lord
that he may instruct him?"^[d] But we have the mind of Christ.

God inhabits our minds. We have a renewed mind when we find God. If you allow it, just has Corinthians says, your mind will let you know the thoughts of God. Close contact with God is not always a feel good, it is always supernatural. God has told me that there is a part of our brain in direct contact with Him. The above verse speaks to this. Why do we neglect our mind & the closeness it can bring to the Lord.

We have the mind of Christ. He spoke directly to God & heard His replies. We are to do the same. So many look for that "still quiet voice" & know that it can be pretty loud. When He wants you to hear, it is not a whisper. My question to you is, How bad do you want to hear? If the answer is, very much so, than quit doubting that you can hear, quit questioning whether he would want to speak to you & relax. God want communion with you as well. Ask Him to speak up. I told Him I was hard of hearing. That He needed to speak up. Boy, did He. Just ask & listen. Don't try & force it & please, don't think it is not for you. IT IS!!!!