"Jesus wept"

We all know that we are to walk like Jesus Christ. This would include the way He loved. I, always thought that I walked in this love. After all, I would get teary eyed when I prayed for someones illness or torment. I could minister to, what would be considered, the lowest from amongst us, and still, I believed, flowed in Christs love. H0w shallow was my thinking, how high my ego. How wrong I was.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is John 11:35 "Jesus wept." I didn't quite understood why this verse had such impact on me, but, it made me ponder the humanness of Christ. He wept for His friend. I did, however, come upon an occasion in which, I got to look at that verse from another angle.

I had been asked to go to a local hospital and pray for a woman's healing. She was scheduled for open heart surgery. Only thirty years of age and she was facing a death sentence without the surgery. Her heart was calcifying. The reason the doctors gave for this strange, well I thought it strange, phenomena, was that she had to many piercings. Ok, that's weird.

I had been teaching healing at a church and decided to take that class on a field trip to the hospital. I have been blessed, by God, with seeing many miracles. Healing of the body, soul and spirit. But, I have, also, seen many that were not healed and wondered at why. I know to ask God before I pray for someones healing, whether He wants healing for that person. There is a time and a place for everything under heaven and I don't want to pray against God's will. So, sometimes healing is not at hand for this reason. But, other times I'm not sure why I don't see the healing. I'm not much for telling the sick that their healing will come later. I believe it will come when asked. So, healing can be a mystery. Or is there an answer within us.

We went to the hospital to pray healing over this women. Her surgery was scheduled to take place in two days. She was scheduled for a heart cath in the morning to look at the valves in her heart. She was nerves and scared. We walked in our boldness, or should I say I walked in my boldness. Knowing that God can and will do anything. But, also knowing that there is a degree of chance that she will not be healed. God, however, had not told me I could not pray healing over her.

We prayed. The usual stuff. Looked to God for His mercy and grace. The Spirit of God fell hard into the room and then something in me changed. I began to weep uncontrollably. My stomach tightened and I could not catch my breath. I put my hands on the woman and cried to the Lord. "Mercy, Mercy". The others remained in prayer around me feeling the power of God. But, I was feeling more. My mind quit functioning and God took over. I could see through His eyes and understood for the first time how lacking we are in the knowledge of God's love. His love was pouring through me. So powerful was this love that I felt I may not live through it.

I could see into her spirit. Beautiful and bright and peaceful. God ministered to her spirit with such joy and love. There are no words for me to describe the beauty in God's love nor the overwhelming sights of His love.

I came out of that room exhausted. But, with a new understanding of "Jesus wept". It was not His humanness that wept, it was The Almighty's love. He looked around at the people and endured their pain. He longed to ease their pain, so He did the one thing they wanted. He raised Lazarus from the dead. It is through this enormous love that miracles of healing come. This love opens up the heavens. This love rules the universe and beyond. This love is God.

Since that day, I have experienced God's love, but, not on that magnitude. It does come on me strong and it takes me a moment to recover, but, I understand what is happening and walk in it. Whenever I'm there, there is healing. Going there on my own alludes me. But, I reach for that goal.

You ask, what happened to the woman we prayed for? The next day, when she had her heart cath, they found nothing wrong with her heart. Perfectly and wonderfully made. No signs that anything had every been wrong. She was released that day to go home to her children. Praise be to the Lord Almighty. The great I AM. The author and the finisher.

Without love there is no hope. Do we fully understand love. NO. But, one day we will. I have tasted that lover and my friend there is nothing in this world to compare.