Forgiveness

A few years back I was asked to pray for a man who was terminally ill with cancer. He was given 3 months to live. Now, whenever I pray for someones healing I ask the Lord if healing is what he wants. I know, some of you are saying, God always wants healing. If this were the case, then there would be no death.

We are allowed a certain amount of days on this earth. There is a time to die. Death is never pretty, so just because the death is from cancer, does not always mean it is not of God. I say it again. God told me that "Your finite mind looks upon something & sees ugly or evil, then defines it as Satan. How dare you, how to you know that it is not my hand at work." Because, of this, I always ask God what he is doing in a situation. I, also, do not want to get ahead of God. Just maybe it is this persons time to pass on to God.

So, I asked God, "Do you want me to pray healing for this man?" God's reply was only, "Pray."
So I went to the man to pray. He was one of the most righteous men I have ever met. What a blessing it was in my life to know him. He had peace & an intimate relationship with God.

I would meet with him weekly & pray for the Holy Spirit to minister to him. He told me that whenever we prayed together he felt less pain. This was not all I wanted for him, but, it was, I thought, why I was there. Every week he seemed a bit weaker but, continued to find peace in God.

One day, while I was getting ready to go & see him, I asked God - or I started to ask God - He answered me before I could get the question out. I asked, "Is he going to die?" God answered "Yes." "Then what am I doing? What is the reason that I am there?" God's answer was alarming. "He has unforgiveness in his heart."

Ok, I thought, I'll speak to him, but, felt that he would deny any unforgiveness. Sure enough when I asked him he said he did not believe that he had unforgiveness in him. I prayed with him & ask him to search himself for unforgiveness & that I'd be back next week.

When I returned he told me that he had found unforgiveness in his heart. It broke him. He wept over his sin & asked God to forgive him & he forgave himself & the person he had not been able to forgive. It was a beautiful moment. The Holy Spirit came to him & we both fell into His presence.

This man passed to be with God a few weeks later. I wondered from time to time about the whole event. This was a righteous man, a man who walked close to God, who put God first. Why was it God used me in such a way.

A year later I was in a class watching a video. The man talking told a story. He said that he'd had a dream & in the dream his mother-in-law had died & he saw her in hell. He spoke to God about this. "Why is she in hell? She was a righteous women, she loved you." God said, "She had unforgiveness in her heart." I about fell off my chair. I could not believe what I had just heard. Why, can unforgiveness keep us from heaven?

I do believe it is dangerous to our eternity to have unforgiveness. How much unforgiveness do you have in your heart? For the man that I prayed with, I believe it was about rewards in Heaven. He was a wonderful child of God & I believe God honored him by using me to bring him greater rewards. As for the rest of us, we need to search ourselves with untiring prayer. Forgiveness is the center to all we are. To forgive is to open up doorways for God to move in your life. It is what Jesus did for us. Does it keep us from heaven? Well, if my unforgiveness brings me to bitterness, anger or a hard heart then probably. But, if I continue to forgive, to work on my unforgiveness & walk as much like Jesus as I can, then I believe God is sooo forgiving.

The man I prayed for was about rewards - I don't believe he would have been kept from heaven even if he had not found the unforgiveness. But, it does show that this is so important in your walk. Do not neglect your feelings towards others. God knows your deepest feelings & will show you these hidden angers. Just ask Him