Wednesday, February 27, 2008


I did not want to get up this morning. I did not want to face my day nor my responsibilities. It will be a long day.

Sometimes being a pastor or a leader in the church can be such a hardship and you find yourself wanting people to just get it together and stop. That, of course, is not the human way and I am sure, many, have thought that of me a few times. "Why doesn't she just stop."

My community group has only been together a few weeks and I find myself in a position I do not relish. I have to make a decision about a member of this group. My decision as to do with whether or not to ask this man to leave the group.

I have known him for a few years and have worked with him and his wife often. He sways back and forth with salvation. One week on and one week off. He drinks heavily and has another woman on the side. He flaunts this woman to his wife, even allowing her to come to their home. The couple break up a lot. It has become a cycle of emotional abuse. With four children in the home, the home is utter chaos. The wife seeks God on a much higher level, but gets her hopes up about him and then slapped back down. This can happen several times in one day.

Last week, he did not come to group. His wife opened up to the whole group and told all. She got wonderful ministry and the men, in the group, had a lot to say about the situation. That was the good part.

A couple of days ago, I found out that a few women in the group are uncomfortable around him. That he is looking at them in inappropriate ways. Now, I have a new problem with this couple.

He's salvation is my biggest concern. One of the participants in the group gave him a recovery Bible and he is eating it up. He called me, early, the other morning and asked me a question about the Bible. But, then he went out with his other woman and got drunk. He is going to group and church and is involved in a class at church.

I have thought of Matthew 18:15-17.

"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Meeting with him privately. If that does not work, bringing in some elders. If that does not work, bringing it to the group and if that does not work, asking him to leave.

There, however, are the women in the group, that are uncomfortable with him. I have to think of the majority as well.

Today, I must do something. I am praying to God for wisdom. The right thing to do. This is not a day that I wanted to wake up to.