I don't know why, but God said "God's will or your will" when I woke up Sunday morning. We have all heard and know the battle of our wills over God's. The letting go of our need to control and letting God drive our car. We know all the lessons on "will" all the verses on "will" all the Christian clique against "will", so why did this come up between myself and God.
Do I need to look deeper into myself. Am I exhorting myself above God. That's a bit scary for me. Am I out of the will of God? Why did He say this to me.
At church, I looked for an answer. Listening to the sermon, I heard multiple things leading to "will". It was almost constant. I listened to what people were saying around me and most of it had to do with "will" in some way or another. Why did God say this to me and leave me dangling.
Then I saw it. A man walking in front of me. He caught my attention because he had cut his own hair and when he had shaved the back of it he had missed a whole lot of hair. But, that was not the answer the answer was in his weight. Morbidly obese, I saw what God was talking to me about.
Those of us with addictions, food - smoking- television- sex-self-video games, alcohol, drugs, miss the will of God. Our will becomes more important. We escape into our addiction to hide or numb our feelings. Feelings, that most are running from, are the stress of this world, hatred of self, and memories. The hardest part, about this escape, is that it keeps you from the will of God. We miss the boat and sink into our self made oblivion.
So, instead of it being God's will- Your will it becomes Your will - God's will. We become first. The worse sin you can commit is making yourself God and walking in our will is making ourselves God. This is pride.
Why say this to me. God wants me to search every part of me and throw away every crutch that supports my pride. He wants me to use the unbreakable crutch, the strongest crutch, the crutch above all crutches. Himself. God.
There is pain in letting go of our own will. It creates a whole new set of problems to confront. Letting go of the artificial crutch that holds us up and facing the reason for the crutch takes courage and endurance that can only come from the glory of God. He alone can lift you above the pain of walking away from your crutch.
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