March 3, 2008
By this time the pictures were changing faster and faster. I saw a man standing at home with his 'toys'. He was buying all the grown up toys he wanted, what he saw he wanted, and what he wanted he bought. He felt no guilt in indulging himself, rather he felt he was blessed by God to be able to buy these things, that somehow God wanted him to have these things.
By this time was I very nervous, because the pictures were changing fast and I could feel foreboding in the air like the electricity one feels when around a lightening storm.
Suddenly I heard a loud sound, monstrous thunder and a roar. The ground was shaking and it was as if the world was coming to an end. The roar was deafening and as I looked up, I saw the heavens part. The clouds were being pulled back and the heavens were parting before my very eyes. Instant terror overtook me as I fell to the ground face down. I knew this was God himself who was doing this. I couldn't look up I felt such terror. All I could do was beg for forgiveness. I felt the weight of my sins and knew I was before a holy God. I wept and begged for forgiveness, personal forgiveness, and forgiveness for the church body. Then I heard mixed with the loud sounds of thunder a roaring his voice. I dared not look up, I was frozen prostrate before the Holy God and knew judgment was here. I could not look up even if I wanted to, but somehow felt if I tried, I would be instantly destroyed. I was also aware there were others laying prostrate, but I never saw them.
The first words I heard rumble through the air made me physically ill. I heard the following words: "GREED", followed by a pause, "SELFISHNESS", followed by another pause, "IDOLATRY", "LUST", "PERVERSION" and the list went on. I knew God was judging the church. At that moment I knew I didn't deserve mercy or favor.
I cried out over and over, "Jesus, have mercy on me, forgive me Lord for all my sins! Oh God, I don't deserve any mercy, I beg for forgiveness"! I could not stop repenting and asking for forgiveness. I will never forget the weight of my sins and my complete helplessness to do anything BUT beg for forgiveness.
Then I heard that voice speak again and I knew God was addressing the church. I heard, "YOU who ask for favor, YOU who ask for recompense, YOU who ask for justice, do you not know, it is YOU, YOU who judgment will fall upon first?" I was shaking so hard because I knew I have asked for favor, recompense and justice and felt the very weight of my sins.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Posted by Given55 at 5:27 AM